more dogs, less wine
[Alt text: My neighbor's dog, who I finally got to take care of over the weekend, lying in my bed with his head wedged between two pillows.]
A month ago, I wrote something I called a "failed recipe." Someone responded with this:
Recommended reading: Quit Like A Woman (Bookshop). Feminist take on alcohol and best life (which is really kind of no formula at all and says F U to the male, white, perspective on recovery and life "goals"). Message: Be easy on yourself. You are perfect and this includes your edges, complexities, and "failed" recipes.
Now, if someone I know and like recommends a book to me, I will add it to my library queue. Within reason, of course; I'd rather be awake for a colonoscopy than read the bible or an economics textbook.
I finished Quit Like a Woman last night. It's... kind of a mess? Or maybe it's the author who is a mess. That doesn't mean I regret reading it.
TL;DR: A white professional woman in San Francisco realized she was addicted to alcohol and it was ruining her life. The book is one part memoir (how she realized she had a problem — and how she solved it); one part cultural criticism of AA and how our society views alcohol, addiction, and recovery; and one part self-help book ("here is everything you need to know and do in order to get sober"). It's a 250-page TED Talk.
For the last 15+ years, I've been getting my ass kicked regularly by an incredible personal trainer. If there's one thing she's taught me, other than the right form while lifting/lunging/etc., it's "listen to your body." If my back or my knee says "nope!" then she modifies things accordingly.
Quit Like a Woman was a reminder than I also need to listen to my gut. To think about why I drink when I drink (anxiety and boredom, usually), and what I'm getting out of it (a dopamine rush and a hangover, all from two glasses of wine). With that awareness, I can look for more constructive ways to address boredom and anxiety. Like more volunteering, reading, dog adventures, and TikTok. I've canceled every streaming video service because none of them bring me the joy that TikTok does.
The author is big on yoga and meditation, two things I avoid because they are so goddamn difficult and tedious. It sounds like when you are in recovery, you have to spend a lot of time looking inward, doing self-care, almost navel-gazing. It sounds selfish, but that's probably a requirement when you're trying to save your own life.
Anyway, if you're "sober curious," the book's worth checking out from your local library. And if you've had luck with a meditation app that is not Headspace, let me know? I'll give that a shot too.
I can only save the Queen for so long.
— God (@TheTweetOfGod) September 8, 2022
Links
Candy, cash, gifts: How rewards help recovery from addiction. (AP)
Not all middle school boys are trash. (Boston Globe)
For weeks the blogs were posting about "quiet quitting." Now they've moved on to "quiet firing." Pretty sure both were happening at my last desk job. (HuffPost)
Related: Coffin office chairs. (Sad and Useless)
Another legendary night club is about to close, this time in Boston. (Stereogum)
Good news: A malaria vaccine! (BBC)
A map of all the places like San Francisco's SCRAP (cheap arts/crafts supplies for teachers and creative types). (Swoodson Says)
Funny Dr. Oz dating app ad. (Boing Boing)
That image I used of the upside-down Dr. Oz sign was not real. (NBC)
I hope this Disney tweet is, though. (Twitter)
Dad of the year? (My Modern Met)
Best article yet about the queen's death. (Onion)