The woes of being a travelling man
This is technically last week’s newsletter because I was on holiday in the sunny climes of Tenerife for all of last week. I toyed with trying to write that week’s edition on my phone and send it out on Friday, but found myself chasing a four year old around Europe’s biggest waterpark instead – so here’s a Monday edition of Man Feelings. Onwards!
I was feeling some trepidation about the travelling part of the holiday. Two kids (a four month old and a four year old), four suitcases, multiple bags, and my mum along for the trip too. I tend to get a bit anxious/stressed before big trips like this, because I like to avoid surprises and be hyper-organised. Travel, of course, never goes exactly as planned, and I’m still not very good at handling this.
We’d hired a special pushchair for the baby which transformed into a car seat, which I was feeling very smug about literally until a few minutes before we headed out of the door to get the train to the airport. I’d practised folding the pram up, practised installing it in a car using seatbelts, and tagged it with a little toy bee so we’d know it was ours. The only thing I’d forgotten to do, however, was practice putting the baby in it. Turns out she was too big for it with all her cold-weather gear on and she howled the house down minutes before we were about to leave as we struggled to fit her into it.
We eventually figured out we needed to remove the newborn baby inserts (and take off her padded coat), but by then my stress levels were on the up. By the time we were on the platform waiting for our train, I could feel my shoulders stiffening as I braced myself to quickly get our luggage on board before the doors closed. As the train pulled up I found myself barking orders at my mum to get my son on the train while I threw suitcases on board like some kind of deranged baggage handler. I was sweating in my woollen jacket as we departed.
Enjoy your trip?
By the time we reached the airport we’d had to adapt our plans as my mum fell over getting off the train and hurt her knee. I blamed myself for making the whole experience more stressful than it needed to be: we were poised by the train doors, ready to lift bags, and I think I instilled the whole experience with much more urgency than it really needed: there were loads of people on board who would have almost certainly helped us grab a bag and depart the train.
As we tried to figure out what desk we needed for check-in, I spotted a couple of people in costumes sneaking up on unexpected travellers to offer them sweets from a bucket (we were flying just before Halloween). When the woman dressed as a witch mock-creeped up to me, clearly about to start hamming it up, I caught her eye with a firm “go away” look and said, unbelievably, “nope, not today”. She hissed at me (appropriately) and stalked off elsewhere. Why was I letting this stuff dominate my day?
I apologised to my mum later on and she made it to Tenerife, sore knee and all. We had a great time – and the trip back home (not to mention the flights themselves) was much calmer and straightforward. But I couldn’t help reflecting on how my desire to be in control, for things to go the way I envisioned, and to be “the man” carrying all the bags and getting my family from A to B had really only succeeded in making things more difficult for all of us. It’s something I still need to work on.
Mini feels this week
The joys of unexpected compliments
I posted some holiday photos over on the ‘Gram and got a message from one of my male friends complimenting me on my “total Chad” status. I think it was mainly a coincidence of good lighting and a flattering camera angle, but it’s the first time in a while that anybody besides my partner has given me a compliment about my appearance and it made me realise how good it feels. I think this is something women are great at: clothes, shoes, hair – other women will frequently praise these things on strangers, let alone their best friends. Let’s make a pact, fellow men, to give our brothers some praise when they’re looking good.
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Thanks for reading! I’ll have another issue out this Friday so enjoy this twice-in-a-week newsletter! Don’t forget to like/subscribe, or whatever the cool kids call it.