I just moved across the country and feel like my body is still catching up to my brain (or vice versa, brain catching up to body—who do you think comes first? are they even inseparable? is this another false binary?? of course, yes). Now that I’m not in school, I’m wondering how to create structures and incentives for myself to keep making things — I feel just like a dog, to borrow from Ruth Garbus, needing a little treat after learning a new trick. So I’m back to the newsletter, the thrill of hitting SEND.

I left Portland for Durham, NC, on July 16th with my father and all my possessions in my Subaru Impreza, Patience, Patty for short. We traversed Idaho and Utah and Colorado, where I said goodbye to him while I continued on to a queer six day silent meditation retreat in New Mexico at Vallecitos Retreat Center (nine out of the thirteen cars in the parking lot were Subarus).

I have a lot to say about this time, and I still feel the experience simmering and bubbling up every now and again. It was a gift to get to pay attention to myself for that long and to find a sense of inner care and compassion that I can’t always access. More tangible highlights include: delicious vegetarian food, beavers swimming in the evenings, the best clouds, aspen leaves making that shh shh shh sound in the wind, and very kind people.

And then I pushed forth! Through Oklahoma and lands of the Cheyenne, Arapaho, Kiowa, Comanche, and Kiowa-Apache people, whose violent removal by white settlers is subtly gestured at in historical markers that fly by on state highways. On the road I saw a bear, some alpacas, so many cattle farms, a few gorgeous sunsets, an incredible band house in Nashville thanks to Dawn, and I ate one bad gas station burrito, a bunch of cucumber, and the best friend chicken sandwich ever at Dino’s.

And last week I finally arrived in Durham. To a new life with my partner Koda after two years of long distance, to making new friends and new art community, to converting the lawn in the front of the house into a wildflower meadow like I’ve wanted to do for years!!

So send me your friend or food recs if you’ve got ‘em. I’ll be attempting to hang stuff on the wall and finding a choir to join and maybe attending chess club (not the place in Portland, a live chess event where nerds get to nerd out together). Until next time,

Lou