Skating in the Dark
Dear Friend,
In my last letter, I wrote to you about tiny jars – the careful, procedural work of distilling things into potions.
In the Libra II ritual, we talked about the meaning of zones – from science fiction to Sufi mysticism – and I found myself writing about a particular zone of my own: the shimmer.
I am currently trying to capture the feeling of this zone in my novel but I found myself drawn towards writing about it more directly in the session.
Content note for mental illness and drug use. Please use caution when reading.
I don’t know exactly when I first experienced the shimmer but I do associate it with one particular night when I was around twenty. I stirred antidepressants, booze, and painkillers into orange jelly and brought it out with me to a Manics gig.
The event itself is blurry, but I do remember that a friend and I missed our last bus and had no taxi money.
We were woozy from the jelly – its effects weirdly sinister.
Out of nowhere, an older lady appeared driving a black cab; an impossible angel. She was concerned by our streaked makeup and torn nighties. She drove us home.
I wasn't too concerned because I was comforted by the shimmer. It was just another Tuesday hovering between reality and something much wilder.
The shimmer edged everything in those days and two things were true about the shimmer.
1. Everything inside it was real and everything outside it was false.
2. If you tried to talk to someone about the shimmer, something bad might happen.
I can still feel the edges of it sometimes. Being too much online has the glitter of it; that familiar sensation of skating fast, on a glassy lake, smooth and endless, taking my breath away.
Skating in the dark towards the black box. The place where meaning breaks down and signs become warnings.
The antidote to the collapse of meaning is to pay close attention to the tiny, to the specific, to the singular moment.
Atmospheres is a way of making sense of the chaos and working through it tenderly, so that I can feel anchored in each moment.
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If you have been thinking about joining us in Atmospheres but the timings don’t work at the moment (noon on alternate Thursdays and Fridays UK time) send me a note – I am working on adding some different times for people who can’t make the current sessions.
Also, the lovely Jae Auxjera very kindly told me that a couple of links were broken in the previous newsletter, so I have re-shared them here.
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Libra II - Zone Rites
Cardinal air: zone rites, magic, intensity
What happens within the zone can be wild, magical, and sacred, so long as it is protected by the power of a safe container.
The Curious Draft
Cardinal air: curiosity, meandering, surprises.
The work exists because of you and your unique understanding of the world you are creating, so how could it ever disappear?
I would love to her about your zones – send me a note if you would like to share.
I wish you a magical space for all your wildness.
Love, LJ
this is microdosing ceremony, a letter from my artist’s cocoon to yours.
find out more about rituals and writing on the ceremony podcast.
explore creative rabbit holes on my website.
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