Bon voyage
Thoughts on the eve of travel
On Monday, I’m leaving for a month in Italy and Croatia. This is our first big trip since 2019, and I’m definitely out of practice. It feels precarious in all the appropriate new ways, and also in some old ways I recognize but haven’t felt in a long time. The part of me that loved mostly staying home for the past five years worries it’s all a little too much, a little too random, a little too unpredictable. But I also remember that feeling of “am I really going to do this?”—or maybe “am I really allowed to do this?”—being a hallmark of all my best trips, and best experiences in general.
My theory, now that I’m crossing the señorita-señora divide, is that that’s the feeling we miss about being young, when we didn’t know how any trip or night or job or relationship or decision would turn out. But we can have that feeling at any age. All it takes is not knowing what some big experience is going to be like—not being sure it’s even a good idea—and doing it anyway.
I remember that feeling most vividly from when I came to Mexico City for the first time. I suspected it would either be the best decision of my life or a huge mistake, and I wouldn’t know which until it was too late. Back then, I did so little research that I realized, as the plane was landing, that I had never seen a single photo of the place I would be spending the next six months, which was certainly one way to maximize the essence of being 20 years old. I felt so silly and unprepared in that moment, but I’ve been chasing the experience that feeling gave me ever since. It let me discover a place from scratch, with no expectations, and I loved it so much I’m still here, and still discovering it.
I’m 38 now, and I have looked at photos of the places we’re going. I’ve booked hotels and even some restaurants, which I never think to do. We took an Italian class, and I feel about a hundred times more prepared to let it fly in beginner Italian than I did in Mexico with college-level Spanish (the reason being, of course, that now I speak a similar Romance language, but also that I’m beyond used to humiliating myself as a non-native speaker). I have a bazillion stars saved in Google Maps, I have a new winter coat, I have train tickets, I have a friend in Croatia. I’ve done everything I can do.
Now comes the most important part, the part that can turn a good trip into a great one: Resisting the idea that everything has to be predictable, comfortable, and just how I imagined. I’ve lived through enough uncomfortable foreign-country moments to know they are the life-changing ones. If I think I know what I want to see, I’ll miss what’s really there. The best parts, as ever, will be the things I had no idea to expect.
Scheduling note
I’m planning to send newsletters throughout my trip. Usually I take a holiday break, but at this particular moment, I need the magic of consistency more than I need the magic of rest. And I do expect to have, and want to share, thoughts on travel, language, tourism, history, and more things I can’t know yet. In the meantime, if you have recommendations for Rome, Venice, Aquileia, Trieste, Bologna, or Rijeka, Croatia, reply to this email and I’ll be forever grateful! I’m determined not to let algorithms plan my trip for me, and personal recommendations are the best bulwark against their advance.