Nick’s LIFESTYLE Newsletter Vol. 8 No. 4

THIS IS AN INTRODUCTION

Hello again everyone. It's been a few weeks. Like literally just a few weeks. INCREASING PUBLISHING VELOCITY TO MAXIMIZE ROI. Weeks of going to see an AMAZING concert by Ben Kweller at the Fine Line that I never would have cared or known about except FRIEND OF THE LIFESTYLE Jake recommended me listening to Kweller a few years ago AND HERE WE ARE. The concept of friendship is a solid B+. Weeks of having our first in-person mass game day since COVID to celebrate the life of our friend Lance. We had like 18 people and it was wonderful. I EVEN WON A GAME. Weeks of meeting with suitors to rebuild our deck. Literally the least used thing in our house. BLAH. On to the BULLET HELL.

• One of the best and most educational episodes of a podcast: The Puzzle of the All-American BBQ Scrubber. Want to know why it is not easy to manufacture in America today? Weird that the solutions are not always as easy as presented, but at least they can fit theirs on a hat…
• Two more stops on the WE ARE ALL FUCKED TOUR: The Age of Realtime Deepfake Fraud Is Here. This is incredible to watch and today is the worst this technology will ever be. In non-digital fucking: Climate change will make rice toxic, say researchers
• If you are looking for a good manifesto on work and your relationship to it, I’ve got you covered: Eject disk.
• Language is important and everyone knows it. Two articles on the topic I read recently that were incredible. I’ve always thought it was weird that we called the US government soldiers the “Union” and that farms with slaves were “plantations.” They were forced labor camps and it’s long beyond time to recognize that. This article put it into words in a way I never could: These Are Words Scholars Should No Longer Use to Describe Slavery and the Civil War. A more recent view: SAY THE WORDS: AMERICAN CONCENTRATION CAMP
• I look forward to the cute vests they will have to wear BUT I WILL PET: Bodega cats aren't just cute; some in N.Y. also consider them working animals
• Fascinating article about how much the press ridiculed Hitler and didn’t take anything he did seriously. DID NO ONE REMEMBER THE LESSONS ON THIS PLAYBOOK?

• Loved this quote from Walz’s State of the State. Too bad he is being such a dick about RTO policies.

  “If you say you love freedom, but you don’t believe freedom is for everybody, then the thing you love isn’t freedom — it’s privilege,”

• Guess I’m watching Survivor this season due to this beautiful clip that was sent my way.

• Our Japan trip for this year is CANCELLED DUE TO MY SHITTY WORKPLACE, so I will just continue to dream the day in 2026 when I get to go to this amazing hotel (watch with the ENG subtitles on):

ITEM THE FIRST:

ON TREND, INSTA STYLE. After getting back from Japan and looking through our photos, I was both amazed at the quality of the HDR brightness (when looked at on my HDR screen), but also very disappointed with the quality when zoomed in and this weird computational look between subject and background. The iPhone is doing A LOT of computation to cover for a small sensor.

The above image was the moment for me. The original is more stark, but the way the phone composited this makes it look like I’m photoshopped in.

So, after a few months I thought THERE MUST BE A BETTER WAY. I started reading about digital cameras. What I really wanted was what I had in 2006: A $400 point and shoot digital camera, but boy is that market gone now. Then I started looking a lot at Fujifilm’s cameras. I knew the X100VI was super trendy and a hot thing on the resale market, so I started looking at other models. I ended up going to a Fujifilm day at National Camera to hold the X100VI and some other cameras. I skipped buying one that day, but kept researching and when the next Fujifilm day came in March, I went in thinking I was going to buy the $800 X-M5 and walked out with the $1300 X-S20. It’s so much camera, but it’s incredible.

The secret sauce with Fuji is “Film Sim recipes.” The cameras have like 18-20 built in so you can just shoot with those, or you can process the photos with an infinite number of custom things. Then here is a fan base that makes things vibe-based like “Vintage 70’s” or things that simulate film stock like “Fujicolor Superia 100.” So if you take a basic raw image on the camera you can apply the film sims as you "develop" the photo. It’s very cool.

Since this is a SERIOUS INVESTMENT, I’ve been doing an online photo class and learning all about aperture, shutter speed, ISO, F-stops and all this dumb photo stuff. I'm also looking at lenses and all these other things. A whole new world of spending money has opened up. Melonie and I even went on a photo walk a few weeks ago! The quality of the photos (technically, not artistically) is incredible! So, if you see me and want to help me practice my photography skills, just let me know it’s ok to take photos around you. Asking that is the hardest part of photography so far…

ITEM THE SECOND:

SYNDICATION TO DRIVE CROSS BRAND VERTICALS AND DRIVE CLICKS RESULTING IN RECORD ROI.

Inspiration for the LIFESTYLE newsletter comes from John Hodgman and in his Secret Society newsletter he ran a poem that I am republishing here without permission. It is a profound reflection on getting old. Enjoy.

It’s the first piece of non-deadlined just-for-me writing I’ve done in a while, and I don’t write poetry and don’t know if it counts, so I kept it quiet at the top of the stairs.

But people liked it up there, and as such, I don’t hate it either, so I’m sharing it with all of you now. I hope you will take this as a gesture of thanks and not punishment.

It’s called JOHN HODGMAN IS IN THE ROT ROOM, and it’s inspired by a visit to a science museum I made with a friend and his little family in LA a few weeks ago.

John Hodgman is in the Rot Room
When you go into the Kids’ Encounter Room
At the Science Center with your mom and dad
John Hodgman goes into the Rot Room
By himself

***

“John Hodgman is in the rot room” you say.
But do you know what the rot room is?
A sign explains it is dedicated “nature’s recyclers”
Full of small windows into rotting worlds
Cockroaches whisper-crawling over matted leaves
Sowbugs and millipedes hiding in musty logs
Dermestids, aka “the skin beetles,” and
Maggots processing hamburger laid out
In the fiberglass corpse sculpture of some unidentifiable mammal
“If maggots didn't eat them, dead animals would pile up so fast you'd see them everywhere” says the Rot Room.
It’s fine that you missed it.

***

When you finished breakfast this morning, and were playing,
John Hodgman was there.
When your mom and dad put you into the car
To go to the Science Center
John Hodgman got in the car too
You’re too little to know
What a houseguest is
Too little to know
Why this man is now following you in your stroller
As your mom and dad push you through
Through the Science Center on a weekday morning
(You don’t even know what a weekday is. But maybe, even at 29 months
You’re not too little to wonder why John Hodgman has no job to go to).

***

In the walk-through aquarium
There is a large fish floating above you
Big as a carp… Maybe it is a carp?
John Hodgman asks, “do you see it?”
You do, but you don’t say so.
At the touch tank
When he touches the sea urchins
John Hodgman remembers a night in Sardinia

***

Long ago, when he left his own small children behind
On assignment for a magazine
He remembers going to a white tent knocked into the the rocky coast
Where squat, strong men
Reached into tanks full of sea urchins
Grabbed and popped them open with knives
Revealing the bright orange uni inside

***

Years of urchin-grabbing had left the palms of these men disfigured
Thick and callused,
Scarred and spine-pocked, like a dead planet
John Hodgman wraps his hand around a sea urchin now and imagines
How long it would take to scar and weather his hands to
Protect him from such hurt

***

You reach in and touch a star fish
And so does John Hodgman
He runs his fingers over the pebble pink arm
And remembers that he learned one day
When his own children were young
That we call them “sea stars” now

***

He touches the sea star’s little tubular feet, the podia
And remembers the constellation of sea stars
That clung to the granite wall and wet wooden pilings
Of the town dock in Castine, Maine
Sunken low at ebb tide

***

Ten years ago, his son was already 8 years older than you
And his son was lying on the dock in Castine, Maine
Tee shirt hiked up and laughing
A clammy sea star on own belly, pale and smooth
The sea star’s podia clinging to the surface of another lost planet

***

There are models of spacecraft arrayed
Announcing the the expansion of the new aeronautics wing at the Science Center
Maybe when it’s open next year, you will come and see it
But no spacecraft will ever bring John Hodgman back to those lost worlds
Or maybe you never will come back
The Science Center just being a thing your mom and dad thought of one time
To later be replaced by zoos or parks or libraries or bowling
Any of one thousand answers to the parental question “What do we do now? After breakfast and play?”
What do we do with this time?
This endless, endless time
Before lunch

ITEM THE THIRD:

THIS IS MY JAM (2000’s edition)

As discussed about 1.5 years ago in Vol. 6 No. 7, I have compiled a ranked list of The Top 100 songs of the 2000’s. Finally someone has done the hard work of figuring that out. After listening to 7,763 of my own tracks and about 200 listener suggestions, I have made a DEFINITIVE LIST. You’re welcome.

1. Robyn - With Every Heartbeat
2. Basement Jaxx - Romeo
3. Aesop Rock - Daylight
4. Basement Jaxx - Where's Your Head At
5. P.O.S. - Optimist (We Are Not for Them)
6. Deepest Blue - Deepest Blue
7. Fischerspooner - Emerge
8. Radiohead - Everything in Its Right Place
9. P.O.S. - Purexed
10. Daft Punk - One More Time
11. Sage Francis - Makeshift Patriot
12. Justin Timberlake - Cry Me a River
13. Cage - I Never Knew You
14. The Chemical Brothers - Star Guitar
15. Magneta Lane- The Constant Lover
16. Morning Musume [モーニング娘。] - Love Revolution 21 [恋愛レボリューション21]
17. Daddy Yankee - Gasolina
18. Annie - Heartbeat (Alan Braxe remix)
19. Radiohead - Idioteque
20. Kylie Minogue - Love at First Sight
21. the pillows - Ride on shooting star
22. The Killers - Mr. Brightside
23. Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Maps
24. Uffie - F1rst Love
25. The Killers - When You Were Young
26. Kanye West - Apologize
27. Junior Senior - Move Your Feet
28. Spiller - Groovejet (Spiller's extended vocal mix)
29. El-P - The Overly Dramatic Truth
30. Britney Spears - Toxic
31. Eminem - Lose Yourself
32. Revolver Modèle - Silhouettes
33. Madvillain - Accordion
34. Frankmusik - 3 Little Words (2007 Frankisum Version)
35. Felix da Housecat - Madame Hollywood
36. Phoenix - If I Ever Feel Better
37. Burial - Archangel
38. Justice - D.A.N.C.E. (Extended)
39. Dr. Dre - Forgot About Dre
40. Dizzee Rascal - I Luv U
41. Aesop Rock - None Shall Pass
42. The Postal Service - Such Great Heights
43. The Cure - Bloodflowers
44. LCD Soundsystem - All My Friends
45. Madvillain - All Caps
46. Lupe Fiasco - Kick, Push
47. Murs - Bad Man!
48. Kylie Minogue - Come Into My World (Fischerspooner remix)
49. Atmosphere - Always Coming Back Home to You
50. The Postal Service - Brand New Colony
51. Sage Francis - Hey Bobby
52. Röyksopp - What Else Is There? (Thin White Duke mix)
53. Phoenix - 1901
54. P.O.S - De La Souls
55. the pillows - Thank you, my twilight
56. The White Stripes - Fell in Love With a Girl
57. The xx - Night Time
58. Fiona Apple - Tymps (The Sick in the Head Song)
59. Klaxons - Gravity's Rainbow
60. Passion Pit - Sleepyhead
61. King Geedorah - Fazers
62. Wiley - Wot Do U Call It?
63. Roger Sanchez - Another Chance (original mix)
64. Marilyn Manson - Heart-Shaped Glasses (When the Heart Guides the Hand)
65. The Rapture - House of Jealous Lovers
66. MF Doom - Rapp Snitch Knishes
67. Le Tigre - Deceptacon (DFA remix)
68. Flavor - Needle Threading
69. Radiohead - Pyramid Song
70. Brother Ali - Walking Away
71. Wonder Girls [원더걸스] - Nobody
72. The Similou - All This Love (original mix)
73. The Twilight Sad - That Summer, at Home I Had Become the Invisible Boy
74. Murs - Walk Like a Man
75. Tegan & Sara - Back In Your Head
76. Matt and Kim - Daylight
77. Tegan and Sara - I Know I Know I Know
78. Basement Jaxx - Good Luck
79. Underworld - Two Months Off
80. The Twilight Sad - Walking for Two Hours
81. Shōko Nakagawa [中川翔子] - Sky-coloured Days [空色デイズ]
82. Ghostface Killah & Doom - Angels
83. Rei Okamoto [岡本玲] - Teenage Days
84. José González - Heartbeats
85. Non-Prophets - The Cure
86. Dinosaur Jr. - Pick Me Up
87. Washed Out - Feel It All Around
88. Moony - Dove (I'll Be Loving You)
89. Sally Shapiro - I'll Be by Your Side
90. Morning Musume [モーニング娘。] - As For One Day
91. Zoot Woman - Half Full Of Happiness
92. MF Grimm - Playground
93. Scandal - Shoujo S [少女S]
94. Justice & Simian - Never Be Alone
95. Zero 7 - In the Waiting Line
96. Atmosphere - Modern Man's Hustle
97. Tomcraft - Loneliness (Club Mix)
98. Jem - Flying High
99. We Were Promised Jetpacks - Quiet Little Voices
100. The Streets - Weak Become Heroes

Let me know if you try something new out and what you think!

THE HOPE SPOT:

Article One: Seattle man pets hundreds of dogs for his birthday present

WHY DID I NOT THINK OF THIS?!?!? As someone who has literally priced out the cost of having a petting zoo setup at his house for a birthday party, I could just buy treats and a sign.

Article Two: This is one of those stories that breaks my empathy simulator. I am amazed that these people can forgive someone for this. Hugs of mercy in a Texas courtroom. Two of the women who were victims of the 2019 mass shooting at the El Paso Wal-Mart found it in their heart to forgive the racist, young boy that did this to their family and hug him. Wow. Could you do it?

LETTERS TO THE EDITOR (please mark "ok to print"):

None, I miss your wit and brevity.

FAVORITE THING TO GO IN MY EARHOLES THIS WEEK:

Proise Mascot Agency (available on all gaming platforms)

This is a wonderful and weird game about rural Japan in a world where mascots are real and live alongside humans. You play as Michi, a disgraced yakuza who has to hide out in rural Kaso-Machi and help out a side business of the yakuza family, a mascot agency.

As we all know, I love a game about helping people, and this game is all about helping down and out mascots to believe in themselves and revitalize the town, righting some of the wrongs of the past. It is full of heart and proving love.

It is an open world game (with a smaller map) combined with a business management game and a card battler. What a weird mix, but it works. Took about 15 hours to 100% the game, which was the perfect length.

This is my first 10/10 of the year.

IN MEMORY: Sabu (aka Terry Brunk)

Breaking news from today (as I write this), one of my favorite wrestlers, Sabu passed away this morning at 60.

Sabu was a complicated guy, tons of drug and personality issues. Not a great guy, but he defined 90’s independent wrestling and his career influenced the bulk of wrestling today. He sadly never really got the recognition he deserved and when he got close to it, he often fucked it up.

The legend of Sabu started in the mid 90’s. I was on the internet early, talking wrestling on Usenet and reading about this crazy dude doing no-rope barbed wire matches and going through a Home Depot worth of tables. I read about him tearing his bicep OPEN during a match, ripping a part of his outfit, wrapping it around his bicep and continuing to wrestling for another 15 minutes, then having to be cut out of all the barbed wire that he was caught in (ECW’s Born to be Wired in 1997). This about 2 years after he broke his neck during a match, coming straight down on it after a back drop, forever giving Chris Benoit the nickname of “The Crippler.” Or wrestling weeks after breaking his jaw. I would order VHS tapes from RF Video so I could see this crazy dude including a compilation of his matches in Japan.

Sabu and Rob Van Dam were the people that got me into ECW in the late 90’s and watching him doing his crazy moves, I fell in love at first sight. This of course lead to me doing my best impression of Sabu in the backyard. I stole like half my moves from him.

I just watched his retirement match a few weeks ago and it was one of the saddest things I have ever seen. I almost stopped watching it was so bad. He was 60, couldn’t move much, was limping around and took a sick bump through some barbed wire, hitting his head on the concrete arena floor laying down a pool of blood. Seeing someone so athletic, and wrestling the style he did, so hobbled in their old age was inevitable and no one should have booked the match, but money talks.

I’ll remember him with this video below. I know most of you are not wrestling people, but if you have three minutes, give it a click.

THIS IS THE END OF THE NEWSLETTER

GETTING SICK OF WRITING IN MEMORY COLUMNS.

BUT IT IN INEVITABLE.

CLOCK IS TICKING TO MAKE THE LIFE YOU WANT.

TICK-TOCK.

THAT IS ALL.