LIFESTYLE Newsletter Vol. 7 No. 2
Nick’s LIFESTYLE Newsletter Vol. 7 No. 2
THIS IS AN INTRODUCTION
Hello again everyone. It's been a few weeks. Weeks of long walks outside in the middle of January and February...? Weeks of spending more money than I ever have on home improvements. Weeks of enduring a kitchen in our living room and the chaos in my mind from it. Weeks of doing more Presidenting on my tabletop. Weeks of putting off writing this newsletter due to the EXCRUCIATING battle in the yearly awards. Time to rip this band-aid off by listening to the Pixies return show in 2004 at the Fine Line and pound this thing out. BULLETS PLEASE.
Everyone hopefully spent hours of time on last issue's favorite government funded DAD JOKE website. Enjoy it now because rights and websites we enjoy from the government are temporary. The government give, the government take away - No joke: Feds are banning humorous electronic messages on highways. BUT STATES RIGHTS! - Don’t worry, Minnesota’s humorous highway safety signs aren’t going anywhere
Speaking of taking rights away, this was one of the more horrific things I have read this year. The lack of compassion and empathy in certain parts of the government is sad and shocking. This is coming from someone who has a hard time with empathy. THE YEAR AFTER A DENIED ABORTION
Speaking of a lack of compassion and empathy in certain parts of the government, if you don't read this one, at least take a look at the flow chart at the top. Why Legal Immigration Is Impossible for Nearly Everyone
One of my personal things I'm working on is talking with strangers more. I was inspired by Yes Theory, which is an incredible YouTube channel and specifically this video. I will never take it as far as these guys, but I'm trying to at least acknowledge people better. Watch my progress at Tower Games on Mondays - Hitchhiking Across China to See How Far We’d Go
Speaking of acknowledging people, this was another eye opening news article - Prisoners in the U.S. are part of a hidden workforce linked to hundreds of popular food brands
Goddamn this sucks - Brian Wilson’s Family Seeks to Place Him Under a Conservatorship
No more bullets, I'm out of angst.
ITEM THE FIRST:
THE AMAZING THINGS OF 2023 (2023 EDITION): 2023 was another amazing year. It was THE YEAR OF NICK (see Vol. 6 No. 2) and damn it was awesome having a year about me. I know how dragons and rats feel now. I had a ton of great experiences, great therapy, great times with friends and FRIENDS OF THE LIFESTYLE and a fresh set of lenses to appreciate them with. No more lingering sadness tinting them (mostly). What rocked your 2023? I'd love some emails to share (or not) about your favorite things. Here are a few of mine.
SPEECH OF THE YEAR: America Ferrera's delivery of America Ferrera and Greta Gerwig's monologue about being a woman from the Barbie movie. HOLY SHIT IT WAS FIRE.
It is literally impossible to be a woman. You are so beautiful, and so smart, and it kills me that you don’t think you’re good enough. Like, we have to always be extraordinary, but somehow we’re always doing it wrong.
You have to be thin, but not too thin. And you can never say you want to be thin. You have to say you want to be healthy, but also you have to be thin. You have to have money, but you can’t ask for money because that’s crass. You have to be a boss, but you can’t be mean. You have to lead, but you can’t squash other people’s ideas. You’re supposed to love being a mother, but don’t talk about your kids all the damn time. You have to be a career woman, but also always be looking out for other people. You have to answer for men’s bad behavior, which is insane, but if you point that out, you’re accused of complaining. You’re supposed to stay pretty for men, but not so pretty that you tempt them too much or that you threaten other women because you’re supposed to be a part of the sisterhood. But always stand out and always be grateful. But never forget that the system is rigged. So find a way to acknowledge that but also always be grateful. You have to never get old, never be rude, never show off, never be selfish, never fall down, never fail, never show fear, never get out of line. It’s too hard! It’s too contradictory and nobody gives you a medal or says thank you! And it turns out in fact that not only are you doing everything wrong, but also everything is your fault.
I’m just so tired of watching myself and every single other woman tie herself into knots so that people will like us. And if all of that is also true for a doll just representing women, then I don’t even know.
BOARD GAME OF THE YEAR: I played 353 games last year and as hinted at in last year's best of 2022 list, there is a winner: Tiletum. Not only is this a great game that has held up over 10 plays at all player counts, but it was the last game I played with Lance. I miss that guy.
VIDEO GAME OF THE YEAR: Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom, obviously. See Vol. 6 No. 7 for more details.
FAVORITE THING I DID LAST YEAR THAT I DID IN 2007-2013: Rock Band (or Clone Hero/YARG in this case) parties. We had the karaoke lounge open a few times last year for some fun times singing, drumming and I've been adding equipment and tech consistently. Just picked up a M-Audio Keystation 49 so we can play some keys and the Riffmaster is just a few months away! It's like recreating my library school days but with MUCH, MUCH nicer equipment. Time to buy a midi cable, load up FastTrackerII and book some live shows.
CONCERT OF THE YEAR: The Cure! They were here for my birthday again! 3 hour show! Robert still sounds amazing! Simon is still a hell of a bassist! Reeves is still weirdly playing with them! Songs from the new album they've been teasing for the past five years and they were really good! I got a refund from Ticketmaster because they charged too much for tickets according to Robert!
WEDDING OF THE YEAR: Crystal and Cory. What a nice and classy time. Beautiful venue, beautiful friends AND GREAT FOOD! It was an honor to be invited.
BEST RETURN TO HOME: FRIEND OF THE LIFESTYLE Adrianne is a much shorter car ride away and it fills my dumb heart with joy.
BEST LOCAL GAME STORE: Tower Games. AGAIN! What a streak!
THIRST TRAP OF THE YEAR: This character we lovingly refer to as "Eggs" from Zelda. He's just a dude who loves bringing these oversized eggs to the hot springs near Goron City, takes off everything but his bathing suit and invites you (as Link) to join him in the springs. Nothing unusual about this at all.
BOOK OF THE YEAR: This year was is a very hard decision as two books REIGN SUPREME. Both are USA TODAY BEST SELLERS TOO! First, is the bound book of lies from LIFESTYLE AWARD WINNER Mindy Mejia: To Catch a Storm. This was a page turner that I read in two sittings. One of my favorites and has such a beautiful, descriptive style of writing and a compelling mystery.
The other is by Dr. Chuck Tingle, Camp Damascus. A great commentary on religion, conversion therapy and the price some people are willing to pay to be "right." The main character is someone so close to my heart and I've never felt more represented on the page than in this book.
So who wins? I'M SORRY FOLKS THAT'S ALL THE TIME WE HAVE, SO THE REFREE DECLARES THIS A TIME LIMIT DRAW.
ITEM THE SECOND:
“PIGLET NOTICED THAT EVEN THOUGH HE HAD A VERY SMALL HEART, IT COULD HOLD A RATHER LARGE AMOUNT OF GRATITUDE."
Last year we had a great time coming up with the LIFESTYLE MONEY RULES (see Vol. 6 No. 4). These were a great set of guidelines on how to manage money, wealth and mental health around them.
The 2024 LIFESTYLE COMMUNITY PROJECT fell into my lap. I was doing some file cleanup and archiving on my laptop during the fall and found my signature book from my junior year of high school. I was not the type to buy a yearbook, so I would just fold and staple 24 sheets of paper together to make a book that I had people sign in lieu of a yearbook. As we all know NOSTALGIA IS A TOXIC IMPULSE, so I did not spend too much time, but the back page stood out to me. Adrianne was my best friend and crush for a lot of years and I saved this page just for her:
Reading this made me think about two things:
Expressing gratitude is always welcome and rarely done enough.
Writing things like this on paper is somehow less ephemeral and powerful than an email.
Sure, I have emails from some FRIENDS OF THE LIFESTYLE back from 1999, but having this scan is such a great snapshot of that time.
So...the project this year is WRITING AND EXPRESSING GRATITUDE. Seeing how much this moved me almost 30 years ago after being written made me think I need to make sure I let people know how I feel about them and thank them for all the joy they have brought me. You just don't know when you will never get that chance again. As mentioned in Vol. 6, No. 4, my last game with Lance is so special to me because I resisted my urge to go home and it was just me and him playing it. Had I known it was going to my last, I would have said so much more to him.
I don't want to have post-life regret. I want to spend my afterlife going to the Bowie/Biggie/Hendrix/Nirvana (Keith Moon on Drums until Dave gets there and Cliff Burton on Bass until Krist gets there) concert instead of haunting all you trying to tell you things I didn't say or accidentally haunting you while you masterbate.
PROJECT PARAMETERS:
Identify 12 people in your life. They can be people you directly know or even parasocial relationships you have. I'm going to write that letter I've wanted to write Chuck D for 30 years this year.
Each month, write a letter. Handwrite or type, but print that thing out like a high school report in 1997. That is LOW PRESSURE. ONE A MONTH.
Find out their mailing address, find a cool stamp and mail that sonovabitch.
Don't have any expectations on it being returned or acknowledged, but feel good that you have let someone know how important they are to you.
SCIENCE SAYS THIS IS GOOD FOR YOU TOO.
If you are looking to make someone — even yourself — feel better during what has been a hard winter of the pandemic, consider writing a gratitude letter. You can think of it as a slightly longer and more meaningful thank you note, but instead of offering thanks for a physical gift, you are offering thanks for something that was done or said.
There are two excellent reasons for writing a gratitude letter: It will make you feel really good, and it will make the recipient feel great. Among the research showing the benefits of letter writing is a study led by Indiana University and published in 2016 in the journal Psychotherapy Research and led by Indiana University, which tested whether gratitude writing helps people seeking psychotherapy. Scientists randomly assigned the 293 participants to three groups: Those receiving psychotherapy, those receiving psychotherapy and participating in expressive writing, or those receiving psychotherapy and participating in gratitude-letter writing. Even in the small study, participants in the gratitude group reported significantly better mental health than the other two groups, even three months after the trial ended.
On the receiving end, opening a gratitude letter feels even better than you might imagine. Amit Kumar, a social scientist at the University of Texas at Austin, studies the reactions of gratitude-letter recipients.
Show Thanks With A Gratitude Letter
I hope to hear about all the good vibes you are putting out and PROVING LOVE to each other.
ITEM THE THIRD:
THIS IS MY JAM (2023 edition): 2023 was another banger year of new music! I had to keep the expanded 30 track format this year because the cuts became too hard. There was no big artist sweep like a few years ago with Grae or Claud, but it is a good and diverse list. After a lot of listening (as Melonie can attest), here are my top 29/30 tracks of 2023. Why 29/30? The 30th track came out as a single in 2021 but wasn't on an album until 2023, so it's kinda a 2023 song, but not. Thus it was automatically at the end instead of disqualified. Here we go:
ROSALÍA - LLYLM
Depeche Mode - Ghosts Again
PinkPantheress - Boy's a liar Pt. 2
Teddy Swims - Lose Control
Janelle Monae - Float
The Chemical Brothers - Live Again
NewJeans - Super Shy
PinkPantheress - Angel
ROSALÍA & Rauw Alejandro - BESO
Hannah Diamond - Affirmations
Hyolyn [효린] - This love
Bleachers - Modern Girl
Romy - She's on My Mind
MK - Take My Chance (Extended)
Maisie Peters - Lost the Breakup
Miley Cyrus - Used to Be Young
Red Velvet [레드벨벳] - Knock Knock (Who's There?)
Thurston Moore - Isadora
Roosevelt - Paralyzed
NewJeans - GODS
Caroline Polachek - Welcome to My Island
Everything But the Girl - Nothing Left to Lose (Four Tet remix)
Claud - Every Fucking Time
Adi Oasis - Get It Got It
Red Velvet [레드벨벳] - One Kiss
Nicole - Selfish
Skout- Pearls
Nas - What This All Really Means
The Linda Lindas - Little Bit 'o Soul
Caroline Polachek - Bunny Is a Rider
Overall a big year for pop. ROSALÍA still rocks my world. LLYLM was an early release last year and it stayed hot all year. I watched her show at Coachella and it was much better than most pop shows I've seen. NewJeans probably had the breakout of the year with their EP Get Up. It's 6 songs, 12 minutes and bangs. Great flip on the sample of the Powerpuff Girls theme for Super Shy.
Caroline Polachek is someone I have been aware of for years but none of her songs clicked for me, even our fake #30 Bunny is a Rider didn't hit for me when it came out, but her album this year Desire, I Want to Turn Into You is so solid. Listen to it back to back with Hannah Diamond's Perfect Picture and you will have 85 minutes of modern hyper pop.
Maisie Peters The Good Witch and Miley Cyrus Endless Summer Vacation are both solid more traditional pop albums.
Claud's follow up to Super Monster, Supermodels, was good but not great. Lots of good songs, but only a few solid singles.
Janelle Monaé's The Age of Pleasure was one of the best summer albums since Daft Punk defined the summer of 2013 with Random Access Memories.
Killer Mike's album was critically acclaimed but didn't click for me. My experience with Killer Mike is that I need El-P rapping with him or producing for him for it to be interesting.
Romy's Mid Air, PinkPantherss Heaven knows along with P Money Streets, Love & Other Stuff were banger albums from the UK. The biggest surprise though was For That Beautiful Feeling by The Chemical Brothers. It is always a gamble hearing older electronic acts trying to keep up with the kids, but they nailed it. Props to Orbital for Optical Delusion as well.
As always, here is a Youtube playlist of everything for your listening enjoyment: Best of 2023
Melonie made a great image for my playlist that captures the design zeitgeist of 2023!
LETTERS TO THE EDITOR (please mark "ok to print"):
Thank you for the private emails in response to one of the harder things I've ever written.
MANDATORY FUN BUCKS MANDATORY UPDATE:
In January, it was more of the MANDATORY KARAOKE ROOM UPGRADES UPDATE. I had the genius idea that I could split the mic output. One side goes straight to a PA/speaker and the other goes to the PC for pitch detection. Think Rock Band but with 0 delay for the vocals. It's INCREDIBLE and such a dumb use of the gear. Living my best life!
Spoiler alert, for February, I purchased the above mentioned M-Audio Keystation 49 and commissioned another song, one of my favorite Bowie tracks ever and one that will be incredible to drum - Hallo Spaceboy.
Here is a clip from David Bowie's 50th Birthday show (LEGENDARY SHOW BTW), doing it with 3 drummers, including Dave Grohl:
FAVORITE THING TO GO IN MY EARHOLES THIS WEEK:
Rocking the 2023 playlist and adding songs to the 2024 candidates already!
THIS IS THE END OF THE NEWSLETTER
TIME TO INK THOSE PENS.
TIME TO LICK THEM ENVELOPES.
TIME TO PROVE LOVE IS REAL.
THAT IS ALL.