LIFESTYLE Newsletter Vol. 6 No. 1

Item the First

                January 27, 2023

            LIFESTYLE Newsletter Vol. 6 No. 1

            Nick’s LIFESTYLE Newsletter Vol. 6 No. 1

HAPPY HOLIDAYS

THIS IS AN INTRODUCTION
Hello again everyone. It’s been a few weeks. Weeks of leaning the car out a little further and making more blind guesses. Weeks of working on my resume in hopes of wanting to wake up in the morning. Weeks of carefully reviewing new music of 2022 for my favorite list of the year.

Remember that time your friend Nick’s weirdo love of 80’s City Pop was on CNN on New Years Eve?

I had a Rudy Huxtable moment today mourning the loss of my LL Bean Wicked Good slippers I’ve had for 22 years. We had a good run, buddy.

Don’t want to brag too much, but THE LIFESTYLE BUMP IS REAL. After 2022’s summer film fest, “Yeoh MTV Raps,” here is Michelle Yeoh giving an amazing speech while accepting her Golden Globe and making history with Oscar noms.

Check out Ke Huy Quan’s speech too. So great and humble, just as you would expect him to be.

We’ve been watching a show Netflix cut up and subtitled called Old Enough. It’s about children in rural Japan (ages 3-5) that are sent to do errands. It is amazing and adorable. S01E12 is my favorite so far with this amazing kid I made a gif of. I will never feel this accomplished about anything, much less running an errand when I am four.

On average I listen to about 100 hours of music a month. I spent a ridiculous amount of money on a lifetime license to Roon before they raised their rates and have had zero regret. That is big for me. More on that topic next month…

ITEM THE FIRST:
FEAR CONQUERED? As we recall from Item the First in Vol. 5 No. 2, this was the year of CONQUERING YOUR FEARS. A few of you participated and named your fear! Here is my official CALL FOR FOLLOW UP. Even if you didn’t participate in the initial part, if you conquered a fear and feel like the communal love and support of the LIFESTYLE community, send it in. I’m very interested in the amazing things you accomplished last year.
You may recall my fear, I am scared to be happy. Due to THE TERRIBLE THING my ability for a lot of feelings, including joy has radically changed. I would like to report that I believe I have made some progress. I don’t think I’m afraid of being happy now. At least, I don’t experience a fear response as much as I did. I wish I had a good answer for why, but I actually have a terrible one.
I was finally able to open up in a very REAL WAY about THE TERRIBLE THING and knowing I finally had another person that could understand the deep emotional scars, the rollercoaster of feelings and had real world experience in sadness caves, validated my feelings AND MY FEARS. I would never wish A TERRIBLE THING on anyone, but knowing I’m not alone was transformative. It sucks to have another in the club, but at least the club isn’t so lonely.
So…fear conquered?
I hope you all did better with your fears. I am ready to face 2023, a little bit happier and a little less lonely.

ITEM THE SECOND:
THIS IS MY JAM (2022 edition): Wow, 2022 was a creative explosion. I think a lot of artists were pent up over the pandemic and exploded that artistic goo all over 2022 (more on non-movie goo NEXT ISSUE). What a great year in music, so much so I had to EXPAND THE LIST to 30 songs this year. I could not cut anything off the back end. JUST TOO MUCH GOOD MUSIC. After hours of listening and stack ranking, I present my top 30 tracks of 2022:

Amber Liu - Easier

The Linda Lindas - Growing Up

ROSALÍA - Saoko

Romy & Fred again.. - Strong

KARA [카라] - When I Move

Ellie Goulding - Easy Lover [Four Tet Remix]

Red Velvet [레드벨벳] - Rainbow Halo

Phoenix (feat. Ezra Koenig) - Tonight

TWICE [트와이스] - Queen of Hearts

LCD Soundsystem - new body rhumba

TAEYEON [태연] - Can’t Control Myself

Claud - Go Home!

Graveyard Club - Nowhere

Daphni - Cloudy

Hikaru Utada [宇多田 ヒカル] - Somewhere Near Marseilles

Henri Bergmann / Biesmans - Mind Control

ROSALÍA - Bizcochito

Arkley - Rave ‘92 (Everybody Dancing)

Oliver Sim - Hideous

The Shapeshifters (feat. Adi Oasis) - Tell Me It’s Not Over

Nas - Ghetto Reporter

YUKIKA - Scent

DEEN - mirror ball

The 1975 - I’m in Love With You

TAEYEON [태연] - You Better Not

M.I.A. - Popular

Seori [서리] - Can’t Stop This Party

Angel Olsen - Big Time

Four Tet - Mango Feedback

BLACKPINK [블랙핑크] - Pink Venom

WHAT AN AMAZING YEAR, especially for pop and upbeat songs. This year definitely had a different feel and more house and dance music made the list. Weird when people aren’t shut in and scared for their lives that more happy music is made…
Some random notes/thoughts:
ROSALÍA is pure fire. Her album, Motomami, is revolutionary. Note, I did not say it was great. I don’t think I’ve ever listened to a album and felt so out of the demographic for it in my life.
When I was a kid and images on dead trees were a thing, I would remember articles in National Geographic or some similar periodical about what the average person would look like in 2050 since we were all becoming more multi-cultural. THAT DID NOT SCARE ME, IT EXCITED ME. No surprise that I’m a progressive…
Anyways, Motomami is the audio version of that. ROSALÍA is kitbashing the shit out of genre, mixing and performance, making that album one of the most compelling albums in the last 10 years. I first heard of her when the song Hentai was exploding and I didn’t care for it. As all the popular press top album lists were coming out, it Motomami was constantly on it so I gave it a listen one night. Then immediately again. It took some time to process, but I think this is The Downward Spiral or Paul’s Boutique for the TikTok generation.
It is full of so many things I don’t like in modern western pop music like 2-3 min songs, interludes, highly pitched vocals and overproduction, but somehow it works here. This is art and it is amazing. I know we all skew older here and maybe don’t keep up with new music, but give it a try. FOR ARTS SAKE.
Oliver Sim (one of the vocalists in The XX) put out his first solo album, Hideous Bastard, and it is an amazing confessional. The opening song (#19 in 2022), is heartwrenching, especially when you get to the twist where he reveals his HIV status at the end. Epic story telling from that guy I could never remember his name in The XX because Jamie XX and Romy (#4 in 2022) were doing amazing solo work. NO LONGER. OLIVER SIM, you are incredible.
Lizzo’s Special was a very uneven album in my opinion. I miss those days at the Triple Rock seeing her and Lazerbeak or her and La Manchita and Sophia Eris. The album is just THICK with production and 100 producers and songwriters and it shows.
Nas knocked a third album in three years for his King’s Disease trilogy and #3 is just as good as the previous two. I know a lot of people love old Nas, but I’ll take newer Nas any day of the week.
LIFESTYLE favorite Grae also put out her album, Whiplash, and it delivered. So good, but all the singles made it on last year’s list :-). Sadly, she never made it here on tour, but maybe this year.
Here is a YouTube playlist for your listening trials. I hope you find something you love!

ITEM THE THIRD:
LINK DUMP:

I finally found something I agree with Cheese on, A Tribe Called Quest’s We Got (The Jazz) is the best!

Great episode of On The Media about nostalgia (AS WE ALL KNOW, IT IS A TOXIC IMPULSE). The third segment of the show was about how we always come back to the same panics. They played audio news clips from like every decade about how “people were starting to be lazy and not work hard” (a/k/a quiet quitting) and how men are becoming less masculine, etc., etc.. Just amazing how stupid we are as a society. I did find this nugget from the 1950’s to be amusing. Guess I’m effeminate because I don’t garden…

“Living in high rise apartment buildings helps make men effeminate,” a York University psychiatrist and professor of environmental studies said here yesterday. “A man with no garden to dig or the opportunity to carry out masculine activities becomes passive and effeminate, helping his wife with her chores.”

In case you were wondering how you made it this far in life without listening to Kate Bush’s album Hounds of Love and then wondered why it is so amazing, the podcast Strong Songs dropped this knowledge bomb: She’s using a Fairlight CMI and a Linndrum. PROBLEM SOLVED. You may remember a Fairlight is my #1 dream synth from Vol. 2 No. 4 and the Linndrum is a classic used in songs like “Kiss” and most of the Purple Rain soundtrack by Prince, most of the Thriller album by Michael Jackson, “Take On Me” by Ah-ha, “Missing U” by Robyn, “Radio Gaga” by Queen and a million other bangers. Iconic gear.

Disgusting.

Glad Missouri’s freedom loving Republicans are in charge. Missouri Republicans adopt stricter House dress code — but just for women

From an ANONYMOUS READER here is the BEST USE OF MILITARY DOLLARS EVER: From the US Army Corps of Engineers, Portland District–the 2023 Cat calendar.

Sad how this political cartoon is a few years old and still even more relevant.

LETTERS TO THE EDITOR (please mark “ok to print”):
First of all, THANK YOU FOR ALL THE LETTERS, even the ones I couldn’t print. It seems like a lot of you enjoyed Mr. Christmas Mr. Lawrence! Well....sad news. Ryuichi Sakamoto DID NOT pass away, but one of the other members of YMO did - Yukihiro Takahashi. On to happier news:

Dear Newsletter,
It filled me with warmth & happiness to discover that I was not the only person to discover the joys of oatmeal later in life.
Thank you for sharing your journey.
Love,
Late-Quaker-Maker

Thank for for the letter LQM! I’m still rocking the oats 3x a week.
From another long-term LIFESTYLER, strap in. FEARS:

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve noticed a shift in what I am afraid of… In my teens and twenties I was afraid of being alone (read: not having anyone to have sex with) or possibly being arrested for the shenanigans I was routinely up to. Now I worry about being able to provide for my family, or “Will we have enough saved to retire young enough to enjoy it?”.
I still struggle constantly with impostor syndrome at work. How long until they figure out I have no idea what I’m doing, and pull the rug from under me?
These nagging issues aside, I have been pushing myself over the last year. One of the best remedies I’ve found against fear is simply doing things I’m uncomfortable with. For example, I took a 3-day voyage on Lake Superior as part of a sailboat delivery crew. 85 nautical miles from Bayfield, WI, to Duluth MN on a 40’ catamaran. By far the biggest vessel, on the biggest body of water, on the longest trip I’d attempted. But doing that crew experience was huge for me. I was terrified of piloting that monster of a yacht, and yet, I spent a large chunk of the first day at the helm and found out that not only was I capable, I could thrive there.
This spring I am taking a clinic to become an ASA certified small vessel instructor. I have fears about that as well. Who the hell am I to teach anyone anything? But my instructors last year said I know the material, and thought I’d be a good fit. So what the hell, right? Worst case scenario: I spend a few days reviewing basics for myself, and get a day on the water drilling maneuvers single-handed.
I’m rambling now but I guess the point I was trying to make is, for me, fear conquering is all about facing the thing, getting out of my comfort zone, and pulling the trigger.

Wow. I appreciate your openness and honesty. These are the kinds of conversations and dialog I long for with the LIFESTYLE. I’m so happy for you pushing through the bullshit and working on pushing yourself. Incredible that you are working on your ASA certified status and what a positive attitude to take with you.
I think a lot of us deal with imposter syndrome professionally. It is certainly something I have felt. It’s one of those things we experience that no one prepared us for. I wonder if our parent dealt with that?

FUNBUCKS: The fable of the Ants and Grasshopper never discussed all the ants who got stepped on before the winter came. Saving is great and I do as much as I reasonably can, but I also know there’s no candlelight vigils for 50-year-old men who have heart attacks.
With that in mind, I rarely have difficulty spending money on myself/friends/family. If anything, learning to curb that instant gratification itch has been my issue. It’s part of the reason I’m impossible to shop for; if I want/need something I’m at a comfortable enough place to get it. (Though, this is likely a contributor to my being-able-to-retire-earlyish fears. I am also aware of the dissonance between the desire to live for both today AND tomorrow.)
That said, I do try to be practical with my “fun” stuff. For example, my jiu jitsu gym membership and sailing dalliances are sizable expenses and are fun, though I have convinced myself that there’s a larger payoff than just fun. Trying to stay healthy-ish at the gym and lining up a potential additional income stream as an instructor helps offset the mental anguish of spending that hard earned money.
Maybe that’s good, or maybe I have incredible mental gymnastics.

I think in many ways we are very opposite in our money lenses and risk tolerance. You bet big on yourself in a way I NEVER WOULD HAVE and it paid off, so I’m glad you can enjoy the fruits of that labor.
I think we both have lessons from the road we could give each other.
And here is one from our resident QUESTIONEER!

“Hi Nick! I don’t want to take this in too political of a direction, but I would love to get your take on something. If all fifty states were to engage in a civil war with every state for themselves, which state would you see winning and why?”

Obviously I think i would have to be one of the bigger ones, although Alaska and Hawaii have huge geographic advantages. I would put almost all my money on California. They are already one of the world’s biggest economies, have major ports, diverse infrastructure, large amounts of agriculture, technology and a ton of active military. 
HOW ABOUT THE OTHER READERS? If you have a better or different take send it in, THE QUESTIONEER wants to know!

MANDATORY FUN BUCKS MANDATORY UPDATE:
In December, I spent my mandatory fun bucks on:

This AMAZING LIGHT! It’s a LED neon light strip. It has a fancy app that I can program a million things into, a mic so it can respond to music and all sorts of modes. Melonie helped me sketch out an idea of how to display it and made this awesome pattern!

Also, this amazing Cure poster!

It’s been a real struggle to spend money in January…more to come.

IN MEMORY:
Jamin Pugh (38), known to most as Jay Briscoe. Jay was an amazing professional wrestler. Along with his younger brother, Mark, they were best known as The Briscoe’s. He died in a car accident with two of his kids in the car, one who was paralyzed but is recovering and the other who was in critical condition.
The Briscoe’s wrestled in a promotion called Ring of Honor (ROH), that started in 2002. I followed it on the Internet, bought their DVDs back in the day and traveled to see a few ROH shows. Jay was on the very first ROH show, only 18 years old. His brother was in the mix back then, but could only wrestle in some states because he was only 16. They came out of the gate being good and rapidly became GREAT. Way better than their age and experience would suggest.
The Briscoe’s were born and raised in Sandy Fork, Delaware and legitimately owned and operated a chicken farm. They were as rural as there is and loved their god and guns.
The Briscoe’s were well regarded for their work, but never made it to the “big time.” In 2011 and again in 2013, Jay made some terrible, homophobic tweets. As the years went on, he apologized over and over for it. From everything other wrestlers and people reported, Jay had learned from his mistake. He understood why his words were so hurtful and publicly apologized several times. However, due to it, WWE would not hire them and they were banned by Time Warner from appearing on TV for AEW. I wish the same people that preach compassion could also acknowledge when people change and give them another chance. I think we can all learn from it. There are garbage people that say garbage things, but there are also people that learn, grow and change from it. THERE IS A DIFFERENCE.
The thing you hear the most about Jay is how much he loved his family. There were videos of him learning cheers with his daughter. He died driving his daughter back from cheer practice. He coached the local football team, they even closed the school district down the next day. He often took red-eyes out after shows so he could be home for his family the next day. Other wrestlers have talked about how much he took them under his wing and was a leader in the locker room. People loved him.
One thing that amazes me about some Christians is their confidence that heaven is real and a place where they will be reunited with others. I wish I could believe that. I wish I could frolic with Johnny & Emily in the clouds after I retire. Jay’s brother, Mark wrestled in a tribute match on Wednesday (after Time Warner lifted the ban), his opponent with tears in his eyes. After the match Mark gave an interview and is like “everything’s cool, I’ll see him again.” Like that is just a fact. He’s not shaken by it and that amazes me. Faith is a concept I just cannot compute and I admire and fear people that have it.
I know we probably didn’t vote the same, nor have I ever talked with the guy, but the SPORT OF KINGS will be a little bit worse because Jay isn’t around.

THIS IS THE END OF THE NEWSLETTER
IT’S WEIRD SEEING PEOPLE YOUNGER THAN YOU DIE.
TIME TO HUG PEOPLE A LITTLE TIGHTER BECAUSE YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN THEY WILL DIE IN A CAR CRASH.

video, click to watch

THAT IS ALL.