January 11, 2021

LIFESTYLE Newsletter Vol. 4 No. 2

Nick's LIFESTYLE Newsletter

On Doomsday Ever since the womb 'til I'm back where my brother went That's what my tomb will say Right above my government, Dumille Either unmarked or engraved, hey, who's to say? ("Doomsday" by MF Doom - RIP, villain)

THIS IS AN INTRODUCTION

Hello again everyone. It's been a few weeks. A death filled few weeks. An exciting few weeks (at least for the prospects of 2020 being done).

• Just spent the other night watching Jake Rudh do a show to mourn/celebrate Bowie on the eve of the 5 year anniversary of his passing. Just 1 week after it was announced MF Doom passed. DEATH IS EVERYWHERE.
• What is the protocol for working during a coup attempt? What did your company do? I had a meeting a 2p CT and it was pretty quiet. LIKE I GAVE A FUCK. I'M DOOMSCROLLING TWITTER BUDS. Your eCom issues can wait.
• Non-real time follow up to last issue's article about minority rule: https://www.vox.com/2021/1/6/22215728/senate-anti-democratic-one-number-raphael-warnock-jon-ossoff-georgia-runoffs
• New community project will be announced NEXT ISSUE. Sorry about the delay.

THIS IS THE END OF THE INTRODUCTION.

3 THINGS THIS WEEK:

ITEM THE FIRST:

THIS IS MY JAM (2020 edition) - 2020 was the YEAR OF CITY POP, as Melonie can attest to sitting next to me most of the year working from home. I think the smooth sounds and funk was just what I needed in these dark times, personally and politically. I listened to over 2000 city pop songs over the year and still have a chunk to go. It is good being able to dive deep into a finite pool of music. It allows me to explore the entire genre while not being in some HOUSE OF LEAVES where infinite space appears finite.

I took breaks from the fun and sun to listen to modern music and after a lot of re-listening and stack ranking, I have determined my best of 2020. Normally, I limit this to 20 tracks, but much like last year, IT WAS NOT POSSIBLE. 23 tracks made the cut this year. Here they are:

1. Caribou - Never Come Back
2. Romy - Lifetime
3. Run the Jewels - ooh la la (ft. Greg Nice)
4. GRAE - 2725
5. Caribou - Like I Loved You
6. Dessa - Tyranny
7. Heart Bones - Open Relations
8. Tensnake - Automatic (ft. Fiora)
9. Is Tropical - Calling Out
10. GFRIEND [여자친구] - Apple
11. CHUNG HA & R3HAB - Dream of You
12. Roosevelt - Echoes
13. Dinner Party - Freeze Tag (ft. Phoelix) (note: this is the version without Cordae rapping)
14. Fear of Tigers - Looking for the Truth
15. Graveyard Club - Valens
16. YUKIKA [유키카] - Soul Lady
17. Classixx - One More Song (ft. Roosevelt)
18. P Money & Silencer - The Calling
19. Miley Cyrus - Plastic Hearts
20. The Vision - Missing (ft. Andreya Triana & Ben Westbeech)
21. SUNMI - Pporappippam
22. Fear of Tigers - All the Wires
23. Zdot - Quick to Forget (ft. Wiley)

Overall, I think it was a bit of a down year for music. Maybe in production, maybe in enjoying it. I don't know. The new Caribou album was amazing, RTJ 4 was just what was needed during the BLM marches and somehow Dessa made it into my top 10.

Youtube playlist: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLoF7vaZ5mPCTIunQ2k0VPv_hyTvzQewEI For Apple Music, just follow me and you will see it as a shared playlist (@whowilllovealaddinsane).

What music did you love this year?

ITEM THE SECOND:

THE YEAR OF RECOVERY? As recapped last year (LIFESTYLE Vol. 3 No. 1 Item the First: The Year of Failure), 2019 was THE YEAR OF FAILURE, 2020 may be the year of recovery. I'm now two years out from THE TERRIBLE THING. While it still hurts on a daily basis and I'm not sure I will get over it in my lifetime, this year I took some tangible steps that lead me to the conclusion that I will be ok. While the emotional roller coaster may still go off the track and down into MY SADNESS CAVE, I will survive the crash.

I think the thing I've just come to terms with over the past two month is that the thing I have lost the most is my confidence. Since THE TERRIBLE THING, I just don't feel confident in myself, my ability to perceive a situation or my ability to judge people/self. I never knew how much having that confidence helped me in the past. For the third year in a row, I attempted to do the Year Compass, which is an amazing year end wrap up and planning tool. For the third year I could not complete it. I made it further this year, but I'm not at a place I feel like what I would write down is accurate or matters. I am loathe to set goals for the future, not having the confidence to think that any of this matters because I am just another step away from THE TERRIBLE THING again. Not feeling like the things I do matter or that the few people that I let in my world won't stub my heart out. I'm told this will go away in time and in some regards I can see that but THERE IS THE DOUBT DOG WALKING BY THE HOUSE. Bad dog.

2020 was also the year of AND (see LIFESTYLE Vol. 3 No. 1 Item the Third: The SQL of LIFE) which was a great success, although Melonie may tell you otherwise when I keep reminding her that the "AND IS POSSIBLE." She is probably sick of that. Being able to focus on non-binary possibilities was a great exercise in empathy and I will continue to re-frame OR situations to AND. Did this help any readers?

2021 carries a new theme: THE YEAR OF FUCK YEAH OR NAW. This is based on an idea called "Hell Yes or No" by Derek Sivers (founder of CD Baby). Here is a link to an eight minute overview and another five minute discussion here.

Basically, there is a time for saying yes to everything, and it is when you are in an acquisition or discovery period. You say yes to find out what you want and to make connections to people. After you have that, you need to cut back on the yes. I am well past that acquisition phase in life. I'm not looking to make a lot of new connections or trying to figure out what I like. I know it and I know who I know. Not that I am opposed to anything or anyone new, it is just not a focus. By doubling down on the things I like and only saying hell yes to things that make me excited, the things I do, I will do them with passion and excitement.

I take on a lot of things that I'm not necessarily excited about, but I know others are or that no one else will do it (that may be my secret to professional success). I am going to try to stop that. I want everything I show up to to be a HELL YES. In line with that, I will not be scheduling most things out more than 1 month now. Derek (NOT YOU DEREK, this Derek) hits on a big thing for me, which is that I commit to all these things for months in the future and when the future arrives, I am dreading them. I hope both the framework and the time limiting will help combat this feeling.

ITEM THE THIRD:

As long time readers of the LIFESTYLE know, I have a system of "fun points" that I allocate to myself for a year, generally 3, and each point is worth roughly $10 USD. NO CHANGE GIVEN. These are generally used for frivolous things like appetizers or other pointless things. I was doing well with my fun points in 2020, NO FUN WAS HAD. I was shopping for my new computer when I was telling Melonie that I kind of wanted to get some RGB RAM, but it was $30 extra. Melonie told me to buy it, SPENDING MY FUN POINTS. In light of this and to STOP HER PLANS, I am upping my yearly allocation of fun points to 18. I am then transferring 1 fun point to each reader and am authorizing all readers of the LIFESTYLE to use 1 fun point this year. Do something for yourself that is pointless (but under $10, let's no get too crazy here.)

日本語 HOLE (Nihongo hole - "Japanese Language Hole") -

I've been focusing on re-learning some stuff and grammar over the past 3 months, so I haven't learned too many new weird words.

頭が悪い - (atama ga warui - lit. "head that is slow") 1st kanji - head, 2nd kanji - slow (adj.). This is the polite way to say someone is dumb or slow. They have a slow head.

THE HOPE SPOT:

NONE. NOTHING AT ALL UNTIL THERE ARE SOME NECKBEARDS IN FEDERAL PRISON.

LETTERS TO THE EDITOR (please mark "ok to print"):

none this time.

FAVORITE THING TO GO IN MY EYEHOLES THIS WEEK:

On 26 December, I read the news that professional wrestler Jon Huber (aka, Brodie Lee; aka Luke Harper) died. His last match was an amazing match on 7 October and afterwards he was having a hard time breathing. Within a few days he was in the hospital hooked up to a ventilator. Not because of Covid, but some other lung issue that caused his lungs to just stop working.

The promotion he was with, All Elite Wrestling, had been super supportive of his family during the time, paying for him to be at the Mayo. He had a wife and two kids. One kid is 3 and the other 9. The 9-year old is a huge wrestling fan and would come to shows over the past few months. A few weeks before Brodie passed away, they did a thing after the show was over where his son came to the ring and pinned the champion so the son could show the footage to his dad in the hospital.

After he passed away the owner of the promotion pushed back the existing plans for the show on 30 December and made it a tribute to Brodie. Every match had his faction in it. His son booked a match with his favorite wrestlers and even got involved in a match. They basically put on this big national wrestling show for his family and mostly his sons. The final segment of the show was one of the most amazingly heartwarming and heartbreaking things I have seen. The real kicker is seeing your own birth year in these things. Something I'm sure I will see more of.

WE USED TO SAY "WE ARE BETTER THAN THIS"

I'M NOT SO SURE THAT WE ARE

BUT WE CAN ALWAYS START BEING BETTER

IT IS UP TO US TO MAKE THAT HAPPEN.

THAT IS ALL.