LIFESTYLE Newsletter Vol. 4 No. 1
Nick's LIFESTYLE Newsletter
THIS IS AN INTRODUCTION
Hello again everyone. It's been a few few weeks. You may call them months, but when time passes in an infinite slowness/speed it is hard to tell. I've heard your requests for new LIFESTYLE updates, but I need to wait until I have something to say. The next LIFESTYLE newsletter is coming sooner than this one.
- Some of us will look back at THE COVID TIMES with regret over all the squandered time. This person WILL NOT: https://vimeo.com/481734387
- While eagerly awaiting my time to take ALL THE VACCINE, I heard this amazing episode of Planet Money about the logistics behind getting it to everyone, from the amount of glass needed for vials, to shipping and the dry ice needed to keep it cool. Very interesting.
- On the topic of COVID, this was one of the most shocking and amazing (in a bad way) things I've read about it.
- Everyone thinks Pandas are cute (and they are), but they are the dumbest animals. They can barely reproduce. Their diet consists of something so nutritionally void that they need to constantly eat and now this: THEY LOVE COATING THEIR BODIES IN HORSE SHIT. Humanity is mostly terrible, but boy have we done a lot to make sure these dumb things stick around.
THIS IS THE END OF THE INTRODUCTION.
3 THINGS THIS WEEK:
ITEM THE FIRST:
DEATH IS EVERYWHERE, THERE ARE FLIES IN THE WINDSCREEN. Near the end of the year you start to recognize all the people you know (or know about) that have died. Thankfully it is a highly impersonal loss right now, but as I get older I start seeing more people in my age group on that list. This year, I think the person that hit me the most was Tony Hsieh. I have followed his career since I was young and he has always captivated me. I remember reading about LinkExchange in Wired in the mid-90's, but it wasn't until Zappos that he really stood out to me. Zappos always had a focus on customer service and I never had a bad experience with them. Hsieh also experimented with implementing a holacracy at Zappos, which is a model that fascinates me to no end. It is debatable if it is a valid system, but it really appeals to my democratic socialist sensibilities.
I also admired the amount of charity he did, not just by throwing money at things (though he did that too), but by using it to drive bold visions and initiatives. He spent 10 years on the Downtown Project, a project to revitalize downtown Las Vegas and turn it into artist community and a business incubator. I love these big bold ideas to transform areas as much as republicans hate them.
His book, Delivering Happiness: A Path to Profits, Passion, and Purpose was one of the few business books I have read and enjoyed. While I've never met the man, nor share much of anything with him, from afar Hsieh seemed like a good dude trying to do his best to help people find their happiness and that resonated with me.
ITEM THE SECOND:
SKIP THIS IF YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT POLITICS. Just a few articles I saw over the past few months that I thought I would share:
- Biden-voting counties equal 70% of America’s economy. What does this mean for the nation’s political-economic divide? I think this is going to be a much bigger issue as income inequality gets even higher and I hope the dems can actually do something to address it.
- Minority Rule Cannot Last in America. Super interesting article with historical context about one of my biggest frustrations about how a minority of the populous is constantly in power and how majority ideas like gun control and universal health care are not implemented.
- 1918 Germany Has a Warning for America. This is the one that keeps me up at night.
- A Game Designer’s Analysis Of QAnon. This really helped me contextualize a lot of the thoughts I have had about QAnon for a few months. While it is easy for us super sexy LIFESTYLE subscribers to laugh off this insanity, there are so many disenfranchised people looking for meaning and validation and this gives it to them.
ITEM THE THIRD:
WHEN I WAS A MIDDLE-AGED WHORE. So this is the most NPR liberal, white privileged thing you may read all week. At my job, I have a very unique niche. I do something that no one else in the company does, I have no backup employee. My managers just leave me alone because the role I have doesn't fit cleanly into any area or group, I just get bounced around every 18 months or so. My job is directly responsible for millions of dollars of revenue for the company (and yet, I have no backup).
Over the years, I have been promoted a few times, mostly as a formality or as a way to bump me up in pay. I had a nebulous title because it was the only job description that slightly covered what I do: Business Analyst. (Later: Senior Business Analyst). This past year we started working on some big transformational projects around what I do and they need my brain to implement it all. I started hearing rumors about teams fighting for me and all these political maneuverings going on that I have little care or comprehension of. One of the people I started working with on a related project over the year started asking me more about what I do and my experience and told me to hold on because something was happening. A few days later a job description was created that was tailored to me, down to my exact qualifications, education and what I do. He called it "The Nick Lavely job." He wanted me to work with him, doing what I do, but at the enterprise level. He asked me what my title should be.
I set up a meeting a few days later, called "Reasons you may not want me to work for you" and I gave him a bulleted list of things that make me a terrible worker and some very specific demands I have if I were to take a new role. I have to play this STUPID GAME at work where I can make some hints to a very select group of people that I am on spectrum. I don't want to outright say it and be branded with it because I think it could be used against me in the future, but I have some very specific needs around communication and interaction.
He agreed to my demands and now I have a new role.
This one hits me real hard in a few places.
If there is one thing most people know about me is that I HATE MY JOB. I think I don't like any job, but I really hate working at my company. It is killing me, literally. One of the reasons I got rid of my Apple Watch is that generally during the work day my heart rate is +30 BPM over my resting one.
I feel very uncomfortable being recognized for doing a good job at something I HATE. I feel like an indentured worker being thanked. I work there because of the pension, proximity and health care for my family. I'm not doing it for them. Don't thank me. I wouldn't pee on the company if it was on fire. This year I have received over $1200 of "points" as gratitude for my work. You know what I really want? A vacation day where I don't have to call into work.
I sometimes think of what I would do in a job that I actually enjoy. If people think I am this good at something I hate, how good would I be if I liked it? But here I am. I have worked at my company for over 18 years. My salary has tripled in that time and my bonus next year will be a good chunk of what I made the first year I was there. I am way past the point where I could change careers without taking a significant pay cut. It is moving up my retirement timeline several years. However, I feel an incredible amount of liberal guilt complaining about a job that pays so much. This is my ETERNAL DISCOMFORT, being unhappy about being verbally and financially praised for something that makes you feel gross.
Again, I know a lot of people don't have jobs and I am lucky during two of the worst economic times that I have remained employed. Before I get your emails, yes, we do use that financial power to provide to others. I understand how fortunate I am to be in a position to help, especially now, but it doesn't do much to quell the angst.
I'm not looking for comfort or validation, I just needed to type that out. Thanks for letting me type at you.
THE HOPE SPOT:
2020 is finally over.
GRATITUDES:
A few weeks ago, I planned a "Japanese Cultural Festival" for Melonie and my Sunday. We played a bunch of Japanese board games we have, watched some Japanese YouTubers, ate Japanese food (including trying the new Okome House--highly recommended) and watching a Japanese movie. As part of this, we had a Face Time call with some FRIENDS OF THE LIFESTYLE to play なつめも (Summer Memo). It is my favorite board game about being a Japanese elementary schooler and planning your summer vacation. It literally has fun points as part of the game. We had a lot of fun and it was a nice surprise for Melonie. Thanks everyone for continually indulging my wacky ideas.
LETTERS TO THE EDITOR (please mark "ok to print"):
In response to Vol. 3 No. 8 item 4: WHEN YOU HAVE TO ASK IF YOU ARE THE ASSHOLE, YOU PROBABLY ARE, a reader submitted this to help with talking with people and not at them, dealing with people and other viewpoints: https://youtu.be/ds5U_0AOZ5I. It is a good primer and thanks for sharing it dear reader! A good acquaintance of mine does a lot of work with a group called Better Angels. They get people together in small groups, 20 or less, as evenly split as possible and they facilitate conversations using techniques from relationship therapy to guide it. It always sounded interesting, but ultimately I don't like people, so I have never participated.
Another letter:
Dear EDITOR of the LIFESTYLE Newsletter,
Thanks again for the work and the sharing! Also, thank you for the lovely animated gif of Melonie. You understand what your fans want to see.
I was wondering if there's going to be another LIFESTYLE Newsletter group collaboration?
I was a huge fan of item the 2nd from, LIFESTYLE Newsletter Vol. 3 No. 5 "LIFESTYLE UNSOLICITED ADVICE." It was a great, curated venue to interact with the LIFESTYLE Newsletter and its fans. I found the experience not only meaningful, but feeling more "connected" which is rare for 2020.
No pressure. Just wondering. You're great.
- FAN of the LIFESTYLE Newsletter
I'm so glad that resonated with you! I had a lot of fun getting everyone's responses. I am cooking up another idea and will announce it in the next issue. I will likely assign it in batches of people so I'm glad you are eager to be in the first batch :-)
Thanks everyone for the letters (even if you didn't give permission to print), I really enjoy the conversation at a reasonable pace and away from SOCIALS MEDIA
FAVORITE THING TO GO IN MY EYEHOLES THIS WEEK:
Dr. Chuck Tingle has been doing a new series of "Complete Guides" and the one he did a few weeks ago about Spelling is one of the best ones. I know not all my readers are fans, but check this video out. It is a very valid and poignant discussion of language, how it has changed and how intolerant we are about incorrect spelling and grammar in a way we don't with other forms of art. For example, no one tells Kurt Cobain that the distorted guitar needs to be clean, it is just part of his punk rock art ways; or the slightly blurry camera shot used for effect in a big budget movie. Anyways, check this out and have more tolerance towards people that have difficulty spelling or communicating, You never know, their communication way might just be punk rock and you need to get out of the way, boomer.
WE MADE IT ANOTHER YEAR.
WE MAY NOT MAKE IT ANOTHER.
IT IS UP TO US TO NOT LET THAT HAPPEN.
THAT IS ALL.