LIFESTYLE Newsletter Vol. 2 No. 3
Nick's LIFESTYLE Newsletter
Celebrate the great things in life
THIS IS AN INTRODUCTION
Hello again everyone. It's been a few weeks. VERY STRESSFUL WEEKS. Again. I'm glad my annual physical isn't for about 9 months, because my heart rate is not going much under 90. THIS IS TERRIBLE. Related news for the introduction.
- I am officially looking for a job. If you know of anything that I may tolerate, please let me know. I work in eCommerce, doing PM/Product Owner work on product catalogs/PIM systems but also work with data extracts and transformation from ERP and enterprise data warehouse systems, along with some Information Architecture work.
- BIG NEWS at the Lavely house. See below.
- These two things combined are causing my heart to explode.
- CONTROVERSY AT THE LIBRARY: I was at a book event for noted author (and 20XX LIFESTYLE newsletter award winner) Mindy Mejia where she revealed her fifth book will not be set in Minnesota, but in IOWA instead. A gasp was overheard in the audience. SHOCKING NEWS.
THIS IS THE END OF THE INTRODUCTION.
3 THINGS THIS WEEK:
ITEM THE FIRST:
ENTER PIPER. There is a new member of the Lavely household. Her name is Piper. She is coming tomorrow and you will all probably meet her soon enough.
I write this on the eve of her arrival and I will not remove or edit this before it is sent, which will be in the future. But all of this has already happened for us. TIME TRAVEL IS CONFUSING.
I'll save the origin story about how my well-intentioned wife had us go to Petco to pet some rescue greyhounds. Needless to say we walked by the cat rescue place on the way out and made the mistake of stopping. Piper was ADORABLE and SOFT and a TORTIE just like my beautiful Emily. I read her bio and she sounded like my kind of cat.
Some LIFESTYLE readers may have heard my proclamation of NEVER OWNING AT CAT AGAIN. I believed this to be true and in many ways I still wish it was. The fact is that I am still not over Johnny and Emily. I'm not sure if I ever will be. I didn't have pets in my life growing up, so I've never had that experience of replacing a beloved family member. I never wanted to. I never wanted to think that another cat could have a place in my heart.
I am so nervous that I won't be the best cat dad possible. That she may not like me. That I will confuse her with Johnny or Emily. That I will like her more than Johnny and Emily. That I won't like her as much as Johnny and Emily. I feel with E&J that I hit the dad jackpot. They were so well behaved and affectionate and we grew together as a family. I am scared I can't do that again. It feels so weird to try to fill this massive sinkhole in my heart with another thing that will eventually just deepen it. IS IT BETTER TO LOVE AND LOSE THAN TO NEVER LOVE AT ALL? I am 120% on the never love at all teeter-totter.
So, why then did I move to adopt her? Honestly, I don't know. Petting her at Petco made me so happy, probably because she was soft like E&J. I know my wife really misses having a cat around, NOT THAT I AM DOING THIS FOR HER. It was a rash and impulsive decision that I leaned into. BIG NOT SECRET - I really wouldn't do anything if it wasn't for me constantly pushing myself into uncomfortable situations via rash decisions. So, here I go again. UPDATES IN NEXT BIG ISSUE.
ITEM THE SECOND:
I hope he's right. Henry Rollins Thinks Punk Rock Will Save Us From Trump.
ITEM THE THIRD:
MY DREAM (IN MINIATURE). My wife and I have a running joke based on years of watching Gordon Ramsey's Kitchen Nightmares (US & UK) about drawing down our retirement funds and opening a restaurant since we both like to eat food and I can cook in a residential setting. (Because this is what a lot of people on those shows do...). Now, you all know that retirement is pretty much the only dream I have left and I will obviously never jeopardize it (which is why I work a soul-sucking job). However, in the Target ad on Sunday I did spy this little number: Oceanfront Playhouse.
Instantly we started discussing how I could open up "Mel's Place" under our deck and run my restaurant serving the squirrels, deer, foxes, coyotes, raccoons, birds and other animals in our backyard. This restaurant set has it all: a clock, chalkboard for specials, doorbell for deliveries, room for a stainless steel griddle with venting. I already have a propane tank out there, so I think for a small investment, we could really capture this backyard market. We could get these animals to stop depending on handouts and teach them about the glory of America and American capitalism. BEST IDEA OR GREAT AGAIN IDEA?
(but also, kids these days and all the things they get, right?)
GRATITUDES:
Friend of the LIFESTYLE, Seppy. Seppy is amazing, as reported in the past. This time he delivered his latest Kickstarter, Hedgehog Hop, months early and it is a really clever and simple game! This is a great holiday gift, I strongly recommend you go to Tower Games in Minneapolis and pick it up. Do it for the LIFESTYLE and the amazing people that get to live their dreams. Besides that, Seppy is just a good dude. A loud dude, but still good. He has helped me personally and professionally numerous times and is always generous with his time and happy to make connections between people he thinks will better each other. Thank you, Seppy.
LETTERS TO THE EDITOR (please mark "ok to print"):
Before we start, I just wanted to say I received a lot of letters this issue, and even some with "ok to print" on them. It is heartwarming and encouraging to receive your feedback and to sometimes allow me to share it with my readership. This is my favorite section of all.
In response to the article last issue about us becoming too dumb to govern ourselves, a reader sent me this:
The great misunderstanding of the Information Age was believing that people would seek info and discuss with open minds. It’s so much easier, with access to every mindset available, to choose the comfortable ones. The ones that require no effort from yourself, but lay the burden exclusively on others.
It isn’t really ignorance. Could be often it is. Not always. Lots of people are holding a bad hand, dealt through circumstances or decisions that can’t be revisited in a meaningful way. That’s difficult to face, and blame is easier to find. Pack that up with a bunch of assholes with no moral qualms about exploitation and here we are.
I agree completely. I think one of the trappings of the more educated liberal circles that are used to represent that "side" is that it is a lack of information that causes conservatism. For that 40% of people that love Trump, if only they knew what we do, they would see it our way. IT IS FALSE and it really irritates me that that narrative gets so much play. It is by doing THINGS that help others and lift us all that we change hearts and minds.
In response to ITEM THE FIRST last issue, about my big concert adventure with Melonie, a reader writes:
I just wanted to write and thank you for the explanation given at the bottom of your newsletter that explains the song lyrics. The song makes so much more sense now! Although I am a bit confused about how you hold any sort of meeting in a basement of a place without a basement. Perhaps I can get some clarification from someone some day. Until then, I shall be utterly confused...
Also, I wanted to state that I did enjoy the Tuxedo concert. I don’t know that I will ever enjoy or feel comfortable in a front row position at a concert, but I’m glad I got to share the experience with you, and I truly appreciate that you relaxed your concert-going routine a bit for me. Love you bunches!
A truly anonymous comment. Glad I could do my best genius.com explanation and that you enjoyed the Tuxedo concert. I think I saw you there.
In response to ITEM THE THIRD about BAD PEOPLE that are 30 and in a position of power and end up in a relationship with a not close to 18 year old:
I’m so glad the LIFESTYLE newsletter is back! Thank you for putting out thoughtful, relevant content that helps me examine my own life a little more carefully. A great example is the I WON'T JUDGE YOU FOR MUCH, BUT I WILL FOR THIS topic in the last issue. Is there a right way to handle the pedophiles in your life and on your playlist? One of my college professors was busted for child pornography (on his work computer, so this was def the 90s). Was I supposed to dismiss everything I’d learned in his lectures? Was the content tainted because of the medium? You said you still enjoy Michael Jackson’s music now and you feel guilty about that, but it makes so much sense. Music is a neurological wormhole according to this Slate article. “Our favorite songs stimulate the brain’s pleasure circuit, which releases an influx of dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin, and other neurochemicals that make us feel good. The more we like a song, the more we get treated to neurochemical bliss.” MJ’s music triggers a chemical response and then your conscience fights the reaction. (Our brains are dramatic af!) I think it’s easier for us as adults to avoid creating the attachment to the work of pedophiles and murderers. Our brains are more mature, less plastic, and the world is growing less tolerant of violent sex criminals. But it’s exhausting, too. Like, should I have vetted the author of this Slate article to make sure he doesn’t fuck children before I shared it? Do I need to do background checks on the artist before I can enjoy the art?
It’s fascinating that you don’t like children. I wonder if, beyond the noise and the smell, you’re averse to their plasticky and unformed nature. Hope you will ruminate further in an upcoming issue!
Maybe? Yes. YES. Probably. Yes. Thank you for reading.
I appreciate your research and I can recognize that there may be special things with music since it provokes a primal reaction. I feel like I do need to check on everything I endorse now, but before I start going through the motions I just feel like an 80's suburban mom worried about the danger in every corner, so I stop myself. Maybe part of this is shame or feeling like you were tricked? Like I totally thought P.Y.T. was about a girl, not a child. Oh, you got me MJ, you bad. THIS IS A COMPLEX WAY.
It is kind of like Facebook when you realize, "geeze, I just didn't really need to know that much about that person, because now that I know X, I have judged them to be horrible and I liked our surface-level pleasantries but now I don't want to look at them." Getting to know people, or let them know you is the scariest thing of all. It is a trust that is catastrophic when it breaks. This is how I feel when I send out my newsletter.
FAVORITE THING TO GO IN MY EARHOLES THIS WEEK:
Mogul is a Gimlet show with long form stories about hip-hop, told in a documentary style. This season they are doing the story of the 2 Live Crew. I remember when I was a kid and I first heard "Me So Horny" on KDWB at like 10p when they would be "allowed to play it" and it blew my mind. This is back when I was getting into more true hip-hop like N.W.A. and Public Enemy. I heard that song and waited for them to play it again the next night so I could tape it. Blew my 10 year old mind. Of course, I tracked down their legendary album, As Nasty as they Wanna Be and learned a lot of things about the female anatomy and relationships.
I was an avid viewer of MTV News and I vividly remember them showing the Broward County sheriff busting into a record store and arresting the owner for selling it. I was young enough to understand ConLaw, why didn't this guy? I followed that trial as close as you could in those days being 10 or 11 and not having the internet. When they beat that bullshit case and released Banned in the USA and showed up on the MTV VMAs to do a victory lap, I had a profound sense of justice served. Now, as I am older, I see it in a little differently. I am still a radical advocate for free speech (not an absolutist, but close). However, I can see how the music is written to provoke people. I'm also old enough to see the racial overtones of the case and how it was not as much about free speech, but more about "silencing those uppity Negros that had the audacity to be played on white suburban radio."
This podcast so far has been great at examining the culture and putting 2 Live Crew in the context for why it all happened and has a lot of primary interviews. If you have any interest in testing free speech, 80's Miami hip-hop or just hearing from the people that wrote: "That dick, is a greedy bitch's dinner, I let a bitch feed, before I go up in her," check it out.
THIS IS A GOODBYE.
WE ARE ALL LOVED.
WE SOMETIMES HAVE TO WIN THAT LOVE.
IT IS UP TO US TO MAKE THAT HAPPEN.
THAT IS ALL.