LIFESTYLE Newsletter Vol. 1 No. 7
Nick's LIFESTYLE Newsletter
Seems dangerous on the ice
THIS IS AN INTRODUCTION
Hello again everyone. It's been a few weeks. A warm few weeks. Finally fucking spring. A busy few weeks playing games and spending time with people I enjoy in varying degrees.
- Still 120% done with Super Mario Galaxy 2. I'D LIKE TO NOTE WE ARE STILL OVER 100% THOUGH.
- Winner of the 20XX LIFESTYLE Newsletter Best Writer of Bound Lies and Other Fictional Matters Award, Mindy Meija, has a new book out. It is now available on presale Kindle: http://a.co/hf1HekH.
- If I have proof everyone has bought a copy of the above book, I will REMOVE THE BULLET. Until then, it stays.
- I have a new gig teaching the fine folks at Tower Games new games. It's very fun and I'm getting to know BOB THE OWNER better. He is fantastic.
THIS IS THE END OF THE INTRODUCTION.
3 THINGS THIS WEEK
ITEM THE FIRST
"I’m only haunting your balls. The shaft is all yours, mate."
I love the Internet. Without the Internet, we may not know the works of the world's greatest author, DR. CHUCK TINGLE, and his amazing gay erotica. You may know him as the author of such Tinglers as "Pounded in the Butt by My Own Butt" and "Pounded By The Pound: Turned Gay By The Socioeconomic Implications Of Britain Leaving The European Union." While the premises are fantastical and the poundings exciting, my favorite thing about Tingle is that the stories always have a positive message about how LOVE IS REAL. It doesn't matter if you are a man, a gay unicorn biker, a dinosaur transitioning into a unicorn or a handsome billionaire airplane, LOVE IS EVERYWHERE. Now, he has his own podcast produced by the Night Vale people.
You may, or may not, be a fan of gay erotica. I'll admit, outside of Tingle, I don't read any, but I highly recommend the podcast. It has an intro by him and then the story is read by a internet personality to a group or other person. So, if you can't deal with Tingle, just skip ahead a few minutes to the story.
As someone who deals with minor ball pain from my vasectomy when the seasons change, I highly recommend "Bigfoot Pirates Haunt My Balls, read by Dane Terry." It gave me a possible explanation about why this happens. THIS ONE WILL SCARE YOU HARD.
Perhaps the most amazing part of this is that it is distributed by PRX. You know, the company that distributes This American Life, 99% Invisible, The Moth Radio Hour and now, POUNDED IN THE BUTT BY MY OWN PODCAST.
ITEM THE SECOND
I had one of the most joyous days of the past few weeks on 23 April. I applied for A NEW JOB~!, for a company I really like. HOWEVER, I don't know if it was the fact it was the first day of 70 degree weather or the thought exercise that I may not have to work in my soul killing corporate job (the one paying me to type this right now). I drove to Tower Games with my windows down, my "first windows down drive of the year" album blasting and not even playing games with Andrew could bring me down. Normally, that would really bring me down. I DO NOT LIKE PLAYING GAMES WITH ANDREW. AVOID HIM.
I think if I was married to a therapist she would say "Nick, I think that means something is wrong and you need to find a new job." I would agree and remind her that I generally get about 4.5 or 5 hours of sleep on Sunday night because I don't want the weekend to end. She would say, "I know. Let's fuck and I'll cuddle you while you fall asleep." About 40 seconds later, I would be fast asleep.
SPOILER ALERT - I did not get it. IT IS OK. I probably would have been taking a 25% pay cut. This is my cage. Even if I found a dream library job, I would still be taking a huge pay cut. I'm too far up the corporate ladder and subsidizing this "retire in 14.5 years lifestyle" is expensive.
I thought I would feel a lot of disappointment when I either didn't get the job or turn it down due to pay. I don't. I guess just knowing that freedom is out there is better than not knowing freedom at all. It was a nice dream for a few weeks, back to reality.
ITEM THE THIRD
Recently my friend Marc had a graduation party to celebrate his amazing accomplishments. Super happy for the guy (quick blog plug: http://marcusbaker.org/). Since I'm not on Facebook, I had no clue who or what was going to be there. I figured children based on some of the people I knew that were going. I prepared myself for that nightmare and when I got there, kids were all over. It was terrifying. I stuck close to Melonie and got pretty close to leaving a few times, but I stuck it out and they seemed to dissipate after a while. What I didn't anticipate is that a bunch of people I haven't really seen since high school showed up.
I have a lot of mixed feelings about seeing old high school people. A lot of my current friends and acquaintances are people I have known since then and I have chosen to keep them in my life (or tried to) and others not so much. Since I live in roughly the same area I grew up in, I will occasionally see some people out and about. I do my best to ignore them and hope they don't notice me. I will never respond to my name being shouted in a public place. Thankfully, I was able to avoid a few at Marc's by strategically moving about and not making eye contact.
I'm not trying to sound boastful or whatever, but I think at the time and place I went to high school, I had a unique experience. I think I was used (and probably partially put myself up) as a figure that people could use to project their fears, desires, hopes and prejudices on. That is fine. I get it. I was probably the first male wearing dresses and makeup that a lot of people had seen. I was just being me, as I hope they were as well. The by-product of this was a lot of bullying, but also many conversations with students at several District 196 schools, teachers, principals, superintendents, etc. discussing gender, sexuality and everything between. I received a lot of threatening phone calls, but also many calls from people at other schools that got my number some how and just wanted to talk to someone like them who was still working through their identity. Because of that I would not trade those experiences for anything.
The price, however, is that I feel like a complete disappointment to people that haven't seen me since then. They know a version of me that had hopes and dreams and wasn't completely destroyed by their easy-mode white privileged life. I'd much rather they keep that memory and not replace it with current me. Especially since I probably won't say much to them anyways since they are essentially strangers to me now. DO YOU FEEL LIKE THIS? WAIT. I just realized I might be destroying YOUR version of me with this LIFESTYLE newsletter. FUCK. CAN NOT WIN.
GRATITUDES:
Related to the above, Melonie was really there for me at Marc's party and at some point we went downstairs away from everyone and she gave me a THUNDER HUG. That is a hug where she squeezes me as tight as possible until I either feel pity for her weak upper arm strength or have calmed down. SHE IS THE BEST. (except at upper arm strength).
LETTERS TO THE EDITOR (please mark "ok to print"):
None.
FAVORITE THING TO GO IN MY EARHOLES THIS WEEK: Amber - Rouge Rogue (you can download it from there too!)
Amber Liu is a K-pop star from the group f(x) and this is her first solo work. KEEP READING. She has always stood out with her short hair, dress, more muscular build and rapping. She is not like most of the idols. Of course there have always been rumors of her being LGBTQ because of it. Kind of reminds me of high school me. This 6 track EP is just super bare, raw songs. Not K-pop at all, just pop. Every track is amazing and this is easily my best album of the year right now.
LOVE IS REAL.
LOVE IS EVERYWHERE.
IT IS UP TO US TO MAKE THAT HAPPEN.
THAT IS ALL.