LIFESTYLE Newsletter Vol. 1 No. 3
Nick’s Lifestyle Newsletter
Guns n’ Roses have mellowed in their old age. (from Reddit)
THIS IS AN INTRODUCTION
Hello again everyone. It’s been a few weeks. A cold few weeks. An exciting few weeks (at least for Melonie).
- 70% done on our 100% run of Super Mario Galaxy 2. UPDATES TO FOLLOW.
- The watching of Star Trek: TNG for Melonie has begun. It won’t be good for a few months. “PAIN. I FEEL GREAT PAIN.”
throw up emoji - Being disconnected from Facebook is wonderful.
- I had a wonderful weekend playing Switch games with some friends.
THIS IS THE END OF THE INTRODUCTION.
3 THINGS THIS WEEK
ITEM THE FIRST: American War by Omar El Akkad. I finished this book a few weeks ago and it was wonderful and horrifying. It takes place in 2075, post the second American Civil War. After the government bans the use of fossil fuels due to the effects of climate change, the south rebels and is largely crushed by the superiority and wealth of the northern states, leaving the southerners to live in refugee camps and wage guerilla style warfare. With all the division in the country right now, the book gives some glimpses of how things could play out as resources become scarce and we fail to address environmental and societal issues. As our country is becoming more polarized, I think this is a warning on how things could be if we don’t start to understand each other and keep trying to “win” everything. However, I myself don’t know how to understand people with such fundamental differences. How do I put myself in the shoes of the evangelical that supports Trump? WE ARE DOOMED.
ITEM THE SECOND: iamMoshow. MAYBE WE ARE NOT DOOMED. This came across my feed last week and is the BEST THING EVER. So good it is in bold. This video encapsulates everything I wish I could be:
- A talented musician
- Ability to take baths with my cats
- Ability to wear a chain and cap both stylishly and in a bath
Ravioli Cat Bath Rap - YouTube
Bath time yet again!follow me on twitter https://twitter.com/iammoshowinstagram https://www.instagram.com/iammoshow/Camera Girl https://www.instagram.com/ems…
I hope you enjoyed it. I think the thing I love the most about it is you can tell how much love there is between Moshow and Ravioli. I hope Johnny feels the same, and that Emily did too. Even if I can’t rap to them.
ITEM THE THIRD: COLD DAYZ. Our furnace went out on 20 January and we didn’t get it restored until 1p on 22 January. Thankfully it was not a very cold weekend, but our house did bottom out at about 53 degrees Fahrenheit.
Things I ponder as I remember that weekend:
- VERY glad I got Johnny his heated cat bed. HE IS TOO.
- It was nice in a weird way to be without heat. I feel conflicted about our wealth and giant house. It was a good reminder to be humble and appreciative of how easy my privileged white male cis gendered life is.
- I also debating if I should spend $4000 on a computer at the same time, so obviously I’m still rocking that privileged. I decided against it, because it is ridiculous to spend that much money on an iMac Pro, even if it was 20% off.
- I spent a lot of time on the couch under a blanket with my wife watching movies. I can’t think of a time in our marriage we have spent so much time watching TV/movies. Normally we always have things going on, so it was nice to just sit down for a few hours. I don’t know how people do this all the time. THERE ARE SO MANY THINGS TO DO. BUT IT FELT SO GOOD.
GRATITUDES
Temporarily cut for length issues. I’m thankful, just not enough to make you endure more of my LIFESTYLE newsletter.
LETTERS TO THE EDITOR
The last issue had me questioning my failing of humanity more than usual and prompted some reader feedback. Although I can track that you read my LIFESTYLE newsletters, it was nice not having to.
From a dear, long-term friend:
“I really appreciate your even thinking about that fucked up dude grabbing women’s breasts. It means that you recognized that it was messed up. Most men don’t even think about these things when they happen. Don’t beat yourself up because you didn’t make a specific move to stop it. Instead, learn from it. Think about the next time you see something like that happen, you can plan on what you might say or do. Men have such a massive amount of privilege, but they can use that privilege to make other men see what’s messed up with their behavior.*
Consent is imperative, for both parties. If he asked to grab a boob and the woman said “Sure, go for it” then there is no harm. But in this situation, when intoxicated, consent might not be fully possible, given that people tend to make decisions that wouldn’t have been made in a sober state. I learned from an old partner that his consent was also important for men. Talking about what each party wants to have happen beforehand is always the best policy. When people assume that something is OK, that’s when boundaries get crossed. Willingness to stop is also imperative if either party is uncomfortable with what is happening. Once men start talking about this with their friends, it makes the topic less taboo and more common. More common means it’s going to make life/sex lives better for everyone. Thanks for talking about it and using your privilege to make it a thing your friends talk about, too.”
I fully agree. I have always been a big fan of consent in my personal life, just ask my wife about some of those early awkward moments we had together. I will do better in the future and speak up. I MUST. I think the hardest part is talking with others about it. Most of my friends are very like minded and I don’t think any of them would do this, and honestly, I would probably feel more driven to action if I saw them doing something because it would be so out of character. Also, I have a hard time reading non-verbal queues, so it is hard trying to determine what is going on in many situations. BUT I WILL DO BETTER.
From another dear, not as long-term but part of the SUPER NOT SECRET JAMAICA CLUB friend:
“Firstly, I’d like to say that I’m really enjoying this newsletter and am so happy I subscribed. Thank you for putting this content out into the world!
Secondly, I want to tell you how deeply I felt your article about the New Year’s Eve party. IMHO you didn’t fail humanity. If the non-gentleman in question had asked you to hold his beer while he forced himself on unwilling party guests and you straight up did, then yes—I could get behind the failure conclusion. But there is a spectrum of inadequate levels of defense against inappropriate behavior. There’s a thousand motherfucking shades of gray and your response wasn’t even trendy hipster bathroom gray. It was several shades to the light, my friend. It’s so hard to know what to do in those situations because they’re always a surprise. They never come at you exactly how you expect or in ways for which you’ve prepared yourself. Did the women have agency? Was the boob grabbing consensual? All your conclusions are based on split second judgements and reactions to an unfolding, moral quagmire.
Recently I “tried” to jumpstart a conversation with a book club full of strangers. The group—all middle class, friendly suburban white women—were blaming a female character for a male character’s infidelity and were talking about how successfully the male character redeemed himself at the end. I asked if the female character, who had done nothing illegal or immoral, had redeemed herself as well. They didn’t think she had. Then I commented on how differently we judge men and women, even fictional men and women, and asked where that instinct comes from. The women stared at me blankly and I quickly smoothed it over and shifted the conversation to something more palatable. I didn’t press it because I didn’t want to be “confrontational” or risk their goodwill. I put my paycheck ahead of that conversation. So where is that on the grayscale?
I think we all fall short. We all need better internal decision trees, like you said. But talking about it, sharing our shameful hipster bathrooms and gaining that collective experience, will hopefully lead to better preparation for the next time.
Keep up the great work!
A Loyal LIFESTYLE Reader”
Thank you for your comments, the appreciations are very undeserved. I am just as happy that you read this LIFESTYLE newsletter. I wish we could all experience the other genders and their experiences. We have all this shit we have to deal with and that we put on others either because we don’t know or because humans are terrible. Either way, there is no grayscale for paychecks. WE ARE ALL WHORES.
FAVORITE THING TO GO IN MY EARHOLES THIS WEEK
Kana Nishino (西野カナ) has been one of my favorite artists ever since her first album. Her music is so upbeat and positive. I was scared to listen to her new album because I was afraid it would let me down. HAPPY TO REPORT IT DID NOT. It’s so good. So many 5 star rated songs. Anyways, face your fear. LIKE I FACED MINE. Here is a link to a short version of my favorite Kana song, to save you time in your busy life:
Kana Nishino - Number 1 (short ver.)
西野加奈／No. 1 (中文字幕短版) 【日劇《掟上今日子的備忘錄》主題曲 】 - YouTube
◎新世代少女教主西野加奈繼大獲好評的雙精選《愛的收藏》後，另一種風格的精選輯！◎由歌迷網路票選歷代最愛單曲Ｂ面曲及專輯收錄曲結成的Ｂ面精選《愛情密語》！◎～RED～盤收錄「This Is Love」「UNZARI受夠了」兩首新歌！ ◎～GREEN～盤收錄新垣結衣主演日劇《掟上今日子的備忘錄》主題曲「No.1」及「…
Here is a complimentary copy of her new album. LOVE it! (That is both the name of the album and a statement).
Kana Nishino - LOVE it (link removed)
WE ARE ALL DOOMED.
WE MAY NOT BE DOOMED.
IT IS UP TO ALL OF US TO MAKE THAT HAPPEN.
THAT IS ALL.