Left to Right #8: Portugal
Holiday golf hits different
Golf trips abroad are definitely worth pursuing if the opportunity arises. And especially if you've similarly minded people. Getting smashed into the early hours before playing the next day? Somewhere decent? Not for me, or us. I did two Portugal trips in quick succession either side of winter 2022 and they were both class.
They were so enjoyable I vowed to do one a year, where possible, and then inevitably waited much longer for the next chance last autumn. Two of us followed through after diary gymnastics and we booked an area we knew would deliver with minimal effort – Quinta do Lago and Vale do Lobo. It’s resort golf but the quality and setting in the Algarve, Quinta especially, is top drawer. And they’re right next to each other. You fly into Faro, hole up in the resort, and eat, sleep, golf, repeat.
Quinta has three courses – North, South, Laranjal. Vale do Lobo two – Royal and Ocean. I’d done QdL North and both VdL’s before. I was very happy to do them again. Vale do Lobo is super fun and has some incredible vistas next to the sea, including a famous par 3 which you play over the cliffs with a big carry. In 2022, I hooked one down the cliffs and probably made at least a double. Last year I pitched the green, unbeknown to me in the fading light, with a 2-wood, missed the makeable birdie putt and made par. VdL also has the best spike bar and restaurant I’ve had the pleasure of, 18th grandstand and putting green in full view.
Quinta’s courses are a step up – I have serious affection for the North being my first taste abroad – with South rated best and Laranjal a quirky wild card. South is extremely impressive, and tough, but Laranjal is my favourite. Laranjal was so much fun and you can see a lot of the course and other holes as you’re working your way around. My friend, Cennydd, described it as appearing like “Wii golf” – golf and golfers everywhere you looked – and I buzzed off that all day.
Holidaying with friends is not something I've done much of as a functioning adult but golf is a good leveller. It is intense, or at least I found it intense, perhaps my not being used to the luxury playground. But I'm fairly certain that spending a week in anyone's pocket that's not your significant other is challenging. I'm sick of my own permanently overexcited company by day three. Playing amazing courses abroad and doing it again the next day doesn't get old, though. Heading out there is great; being there is great; getting home is great. A typical holiday experience – heightened with the continued effort and schedule of golf. Returning home happy but exhausted doesn’t get much sympathy. Ultimately it’s great for the soul and I hope I can do it once a year.
When we played the South at Quinta, on the hottest day and the slowest round of the week, due to how busy the course was, we got a large curveball on the first tee. As it was just two of us, we were likely to be paired with others each time making up a four filling the tee sheet. Tee times are at a premium. I remember feeling quite amped on the first, keen to test myself on the South – on paper, the best course we’d play that week. I was slow to a social cue as we set off with our designated partner, a middle-aged guy from Warrington in the UK, who seemed quite stressed and distracted, and whose wife was in their buggy not playing.
Turns out his wife, wearing a purple zipped-up padded coat in the middle of the day in 27°C, had a neurological disorder, hence her body feeling cold even in that heat. I was sweating more than I’d like in shorts and a polo. She would also get extremely distressed when he left the cart if she couldn’t immediately see him in her line of vision, which obviously happened a lot. Not ideal on the golf course.
Fortunately, Cennydd pieced this all together quickly on the first, and was kind and patient with the guy given their situation was more important than anything else we were doing together for five hours. I’ve wondered how many bad groups they’ve no doubt played with in the past, and will do in the future, as they can only travel together – who are probably really shitty thinking only of themselves and their impacted experience.
I quickly unfucked myself as Cennydd explained the situation. And you know what? It was great in the end. I mean, it was difficult, briefly, at points. Nothing compared to this guy’s load. At the end of the round, the four of us had a couple of drinks at a table, and – as he said she would – his wife came alive sat in the bar with a glass of fizz able to talk directly and comfortably. She was fun, gave me a peck on the cheek, and we got a glimpse of what life for them was like when she was not so unwell. It was really sweet and still makes me choke up even now. Fair play to him, and them.
You never know what life is going to throw at you. I hope they continue to travel and he plays for years to come. He mentioned that he cannot do weekly club competitions at home any longer, which he clearly misses, as his wife has deteriorated, but is more than making up for it with these worldwide trips he reeled off. They seemed very much in love and stronger than most couples.
On our last night, I watched Erik ten Hag’s United draw 3-3 with Porto – a feisty, rollercoaster Europa League group match – in the Vale do Lobo bar, discussing United with a Portuguese, Porto-supporting waiter, hanging out the entrance with a post-dinner cigar. I told him United would equalise even though we were a man down. He was surprised that Ferguson should shoulder most of the blame for United’s current demise. I did not get into the C. Ronaldo discussion.
I would go back to Quinta and VdL in a heartbeat, but I feel like I’ve done that for now. It’s time to try some different courses in Portugal. The trip we did just before I got married in March 2023 featured Monte Rei, Palmares, and both Faldo and O’Connor loops at Amendoeira. All three places are very different and seriously good. I liked having to travel to remote areas from a base rather than not leaving a resort for a week. If you’re considering doing your first golf holiday abroad, however, Quinta and Vale do Lobo would be a perfect place to start. The hardest bit is making diaries work. In my experience: just say yes, you will not regret it. Seeing those first stone pine umbrella-shaped trees lining a course gets me going every single time.
