Is 2024 The Year We Slow Down?
Note: While this is a G-rated newsletter, it does talk about sex, sexuality, kink, queerness, and non-monogamy in an educational context. Consider yourself warned.
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Moving Day!
I hope you're not confused by the move to Buttondown from Substack! Substack has a Nazi problem, and I have a problem with Nazi supporters, so I've moved to a platform that doesn't promote hate!
Please excuse any issues while I convert over to this new platform. If you have questions or comments, please feel free to email me! Catch an error or have suggestions on how I can do this newsletter better? I'd love to hear from you!
Happy New Year!
Welcome to 2024! I've been having a lot of conversations with friends and community members about what made 2023 uniquely challenging. What it comes down to for me is that there's just too much incoming information. 2023 felt so rapid-fire. One minute I'm on Instagram looking at thirst traps, next I'm hearing about the horrible genocide going on in Palestine, followed by hate crimes and cat videos. I have 5 different apps that people use to get in touch with me now and I often cringe at the amount of phone "junk" I have to wade through, the notifications I have to clear, the inboxes I have to empty, just to talk to the people I care about.
Sincerely, I want to know about all of these things going on in the world. I love a good meme, or hearing about a favourite brand being on sale. But it feels like the barriers between each task, each thing begging for our attention, are becoming thinner and thinner. We know that multitasking causes memory issues and other challenges, and social media, our phones, and a world where we have fewer and fewer buffers between context switches, in general, are leaving us stressed out and balancing more input with fewer resources or meaningful connections.
I don't have the answer for how to push back against this. I want to feel connected to my communities. I loved Twitter during its first decade or so, with its chronological timeline, lack of video, and feed mostly full of only the people I had chosen. I've gained so much from social media, but the social media that I enjoyed most seems to be gone and replaced with the current push to throw as much at me as quickly as possible and in loud, overwhelming stereo.
I am giving serious thought to slowness. Trying to get back to reading longer-form articles. Working to be more intentional with how and when I try to build community, learn new things, or stay informed. I spent a good chunk of the holidays unplugged from my technology, and it felt really healing.
I'm only starting to peel back the layers here and have more questions and stress than answers and useful suggestions right now. But if you're feeling this too, know you're not alone!
May 2024 bring us more kindness and clarity and the tools to treat ourselves with grace and slowness.
In-Person Conferences!
For the first time since February of 2020, I'm back teaching in person at a couple of kink conventions! I have to admit, I'm nervous about the current infection rates for COVID and the flu, but I'm hoping that some masking and being careful how I spend my time will help mitigate the risk
First off, I'll be teaching at Westcoast Bound from January 12th through 14th! I've never taught at this one before, so I'm so excited to teach at an event in Canada. I believe they are sold out but might have a waiting list if you'd like to try and attend?
January 26th through 29th, I'll be returning to Dark Odyssey: Winter Fire just in time to celebrate my 44th birthday! DO will always have a special place in my heart as an organization; they were the first big conference to let me teach for them so many years ago, so it's always amazing to connect with this slice of Queer-affirming, progressive, kinky heaven!
Upcoming Online Events!
Continuing Our New, Online, Queer, Neurodivergent Community Space!
I love the community we've created around the Rainbow Skies free online peer support group! In December, we had a great turnout for a discussion on how to take care of ourselves as neurodivergent Queer folks over the various holidays. Considering how close we were to the holidays, I was thrilled with how many folks showed up to create that space! Once again, we'll be continuing my partnership with Blue Sky Learning to support this monthly space for neuroqueer discussion, reflection and collective care.
We’ll be meeting on the third Thursday of every month, with the next meeting on January 18th! Register here for free if you would like to attend and haven't joined us previously! (Note that you’ll need to register with Blue Sky Learning through Jane.) If you have attended a previous month, no need to jump through these hoops again; we’ll already be emailing you the link!
Workshops for Kinksters
So sorry for the late notice, but if you're interested in joining me for my Introduction to Power Exchange workshop on January 4th, it would be great to have you! This workshop is free to attend live or just $15 Canadian to buy a ticket that includes access to the video recording afterward! In this introductory workshop, I will discuss how we can incorporate consensual Power Exchange into our relationships, scenes, and sexuality. With lots of time for participant questions, this workshop will provide tips on those first explorations of Power Exchange, including what to consider when negotiating a power-based scene or relationship. Whether you’re looking to build a hot D/s scene or an ongoing Power Exchange dynamic, there’s something in this workshop for every beginner.
For the submissive kinky explorers, I'll be running my Knowing Ourselves As Submissives workshop online on January 10th. This workshop will centre the experiences of people who identify as submissive or are curious about exploring this identity in the dungeon or the bedroom. Tickets are available at different price points to accommodate different economic realities.
Workshops for Everyone
On January 24th I'll be debuting a brand new workshop called Thank You For Your "No": Building Relationships That Encourage Sharing & Trust. This one is a labour of love, informed by the work I do with folks as a one-on-one coach to help them build communication tools and trusting bonds, as well as my many years of work in education to prevent sexual violence and help and improve consent practices in so many diverse communities. One of the keys to healthy relationships of all kinds is feeling safe to set boundaries and limits with our partners. We are seldom taught how to gracefully accept “no,” especially in the context of our romantic, sexual, or play relationships. This workshop will discuss how to become partners who can receive boundaries and rejection from our loved ones with grace and care. By exploring the vital components of open communication, setting healthy boundaries, and acknowledging what makes it hard to give and receive a “no,” this workshop will provide you with tips and tools for embracing the vulnerability and care required in healthy relationships where both partners feel safe to express their needs and desires, as well as respect the same in their partner.
Support & Connection
If you would like to connect with me for coaching please do. Sliding scale is available and I am happy to have a free consultation prior to beginning our work together.
As always, I appreciate your donations toward my educational & community work.
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