The World We Are Creating Is Not Limited By What We Can See Right Now

December will mark nine years since I quit smoking. Prior to 2016, I smoked a pack a day or more for close to 20 years. My breathing was terrible, the habit was so expensive, and frankly it was an easy way for me to numb out and not pay attention to how I was feeling about my relationship with myself or others. The instinct was to immediately light a cigarette the minute I had intense feelings, "good" or "bad."

In those days of smoking, it was really hard for me to imagine a world where I didn't smoke and didn't seek out numbing in the face of overwhelm. Nine years later, I've had some therapy, some coaching, and I've found additional resourcing, and I have relationships with myself and others that really help me navigate the world with more ease and care than I once did.

What does this have to do with the world we're living in currently? When I quit smoking, I didn't have all the answers on how I would cope when things got hard. All I knew was that I needed things to change. I needed things to be easier. And I needed to believe that there could be a world ahead that was less challenging, that had moments of ease and comfort and care.

Things are really, really hard for us in so many ways right now, and it is really easy to feel paralyzed by an inability to see what a brighter future could look like. I'm trying to remind myself that in 2016 I didn't know what would happen if I tried to quit smoking, or even if I could succeed. I couldn't see it and had trouble believing that it was possible to cope with life's hard moments without lighting up.

I'm very grateful for the past version of me who believed that a better future was possible and achievable. And when we get discouraged and hopeless, I want to encourage us all to recognize that the best the future has to offer might not be visible or imaginable yet, but that doesn't mean it isn't there to find.

Disability & Neurodivergent Coaching With Dare

I have started providing disability and leadership coaching and education in partnership with Blue Sky Learning.

My work includes one-on-one coaching with a wide variety of folks, including neurodivergent people, adult learners, people transitioning careers, and folks who are trying to understand better how to accommodate their disability needs. As always, I am doing this work through a queer-affirming, inclusive approach. Please note, this coaching work will not include kink and sexuality coaching and is strictly in support of neurodivergent and disabled folks.

Upcoming Online Kink & Sexuality Workshops

All of my online kink and sexuality workshops are recorded and a link will be emailed to all ticket holders within 72 hours. This allows folks who can’t join live to still access this content! The link will be active for 30 days.

2025 Remaining Workshops

December 3rd @ 7:30PM Eastern
Big Feelings: Topics & Tools For Advanced Humiliation Play

December 10th @ 7:30PM Eastern
Playing With Power: Creating Kink Scenes That Include Power Exchange

2026 Announced Workshops

January 7th @ 7:30PM Eastern
Neurodivergent In The Dungeon

January 14th @ 7:30PM Eastern
The Nervous Top’s Guide To Scene-Building & Negotiation

February 4th @ 7:30PM Eastern
Navigating Jealousy & Envy

February 25th @ 7:30PM Eastern
Kink Without Burning Out

March 11th @ 7:30PM Eastern
Cultivating Service: A Guide for Service Submissives

Did you miss one of my previous workshops like Non-Monogamous Power Exchange or It’s A Small World: Navigating Sexuality Community Spaces Post-Break-Up? You can access these and other previous workshops on my Gumroad Store!

Until Next Time

May you have a gentle holiday season and safe entry into 2026. Much love and care to you all!

Be well & be kind.