October 18, 2024

We, Lattepunk

Lattepunk

Tesla is going to be a robotics company...at some point...maybe.

I’m a little late on hitting your inbox, but alas I am here. October 10th was the big unveil of Elon Musk’s future plans for Tesla. Here’s the presentation if you’re that interested:

If you just want the meat of the 2 hour presentation, I got you.

Robotaxi

It’s a Model 3 looking thing that has no steering wheel and have Full Self Driving (FSD). The Verge has great coverage of it, check it out for all the details.

This is where I remind you that back in 2016, Elon said that all Teslas will have FSD in two years. That would be 2018. If you aren’t aware, for some reason, it’s 2024. Now this “Full Self Driving” Robotaxi will be in production in three years. sigh.

Here I originally wanted to go and nerd out about levels of autonomous vehicles, what they mean, and why Elon is bullshitting you. It’s why this newsletter is late. But then the real question hit me. Why the fuck does he want this?

Money is always the answer. But the idea is that if less people owned a car and used autonomous cars, that opens up so many things for society. Less cars owned means less parking spaces needed for them. Which means all that wasted space could mean more trees and parks to walk and hang out in. Maybe add more home opportunities to the next generation to invest in their futures!

Which sounds great if that were actually the plan! Even if private equity companies decided to let that happen instead of making more apartments to rent out to people, where are we going to park all the robotaxis that we’re using? They need to go somewhere! If less cars is the goal, why are the taxis two seaters?

Cause of this option:

Robovan

Again, coverage from The Verge covers the details better than me, check it out.

Elon loves building shit that would fit into the cyberpunk worlds that he likes. Reminder that all that cool cyberpunk shit is meant to be a world we avoid. That’s a rant I’ve made already.

But here we have a 20 seat Robovan. Which...looks like that. Luckily for us, Elon is terrible with timelines. We won’t see this stuff on our roads anytime soon.

If the future of Tesla is taxis and making car ownership obsolete, why are they still selling me a Cybertruck? What am I missing? Whatever.

But with all these new autonomous cars, we need to clean them and charge them. Make sure they are operational for the next client. That means more job opportunities, right?

Right?

Tesla Bot

Yet again, The Verge has good coverage. I’m not a reporter, they got good stuff going over there. Read their coverage on this.

Less jobs for us just gives us more time to enjoy our leisures. This thing is what I saw people talking about the most. Obviously it uses AI, will help keep your house clean, and laugh at your jokes. Also, they were controlled by humans the whole time.

This guy tells us so many lies and believes he knows what’s best to save humanity. I’m just tired person typing into his computer, what do I know? “He” did just catch a rocket with some chopsticks.

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things i read this week:

ai-

Police seldom disclose use of facial recognition despite false arrests | Douglas MacMillan, David Ovalle and Aaron Schaffer for The Washington Post

Amazon Dreams of AI Agents That Do the Shopping for You | Will Knight for Wired

‘I Applied to 2,843 Roles’: The Rise of AI-Powered Job Application Bots | Jason Koebler for 404 Media

Millions of People Are Using Abusive AI ‘Nudify’ Bots on Telegram | Matt Burgess for Wired

This AI Tool Helped Convict People of Murder. Then Someone Took a Closer Look | Todd Feathers for Wired

Anyone Can Turn You Into an AI Chatbot. There’s Little You Can Do to Stop Them | Megan Farokhmanesh, Lauren Goode for Wired

Inside the Mind of an AI Girlfriend (or Boyfriend) | Will Knight for Wired

security-

What Google’s U-Turn on Third-Party Cookies Means for Chrome Privacy | Kate O'Flaherty for Wired

Two never-before-seen tools, from same group, infect air-gapped devices | Dan Goodin for ArsTechnica

Fidelity Investments says data breach affects over 77,000 people | Sergiu Gatlan for Bleeping Computer

Some of the Web’s Sketchiest Sites Share an Address in Iceland | Steven Lee Myers and Tiffany Hsu for NY Times

Hackers took over robovacs to chase pets and yell slurs | Wes Davis for The Verge

The War on Passwords Is One Step Closer to Being Over | Lily Hay Newman for Wired (i’ll start the process of using them once this happens)

Android 15’s security and privacy features are the update’s highlight | Kevin Purdy for ArsTechnica (android 15 came out? wtf?)

healthcare-

A Major GLP-1 Drug Shortage Is Over. Some Patients Aren’t Celebrating | Kate Knibbs for Wired (maybe i can finally lose my belly)

crypto-

Unmasking Bitcoin Creator Satoshi Nakamoto—Again | Joel Khalili for Wired

69,000 Bitcoins Are Headed for the US Treasury—While the Agent Who Seized Them Is in Jail | Andy Greenberg for Wired

Lamborghini Carjackers Lured by $243M Cyberheist | Krebs on Security

The FBI secretly created a coin to investigate crypto pump-and-dump schemes | Gaby Del Valle for The Verge

fashion-

High-End Fashion Dupes Are Soaring Where Knock-Offs Never Could | Amy Francombe for Wired

Prada helped make a spacesuit | Allison Johnson for The Verge

love-

Getting the Spark Back | Magdalene Taylor for Slate

labor-

87% of eBay's trading card experts 'earn less than a living wage,' say union organizers | Elie Gould for PC Gamer

'We're f—ked': California's music festival bubble is bursting | Timothy Karoff for SFGate

Executives From a Bank Charged With “Predatory Lending” Moved to a New Lender. Regulators Did Little to Stop Them. | Byard Duncan and Ryan Gabrielson for ProPublica

gaming-

The true cost of game piracy: 20 percent of revenue, according to a new study | Kyle Orland for ArsTechnica

Pokemon dev Game Freak confirms breach after stolen data leaks online | Bill Toulas for Bleeping Computer

The official Nintendo Museum appears to be emulating SNES games on a Windows PC, which is slightly embarrassing | Andy Edser for PC Gamer

New Denuvo Discord Temporarily Suspended After Deluge of Hate Messages | Joseph Allen for TechRaptor

environment-

Helene and Milton reveal an emerging challenge for first responders: EV batteries catching fire | Tik Root for Grist

must be nice-

Richard Mille's New McLaren Watch Has a ‘Jump Start’ Button | Chris Hall for Wired

We Tried the World’s Most Expensive Wireless Speakers | Verity Burns for Wired

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