Must Be Lattepunk - Platinum Pleasures
Lattepunk
Is there too much to pay for the ultimate pleasure?
When it comes to pleasuring one self, there is no shortage of options. From the rabbit to the magic wand, silicon or even your fingers, your needs can be met with the right tool. But what happens when you need your tool to also be statement? Let me show you what I found!
That is the Pearl Royale Vibrator! (That link has some nudity, you’ve been warned!) If it was still available, they only made three of them, it would have ran you $1.8 million dollars. Yeah! That is $1.8 million dollars of “pure platinum and set with over 70 carats of flawless diamonds” that is intended to pleasure yourself with.
To be fair, this is an art project. Here is the inspiration from the artist Colin Burn:
“To encourage discussion and question society on the value we place on the sexual experience. From my observations it seems society could not reconcile such a luxurious item for the act of sex. I was of the mindset if we accept genuine luxury into other aspects of our lives then why not the sexual experience. It had to be outlandishly lavish with a high level of status, so the term fit for a king or queen was foremost in my mind. I wanted to create a unique piece of jewelry art that would hold its own and could proudly sit along side the worlds finest crown jewels. Ultimately for me it symbolizes how we should Treasure the Erotic.”
Someone has that thing in there house! Presumably, mixed in with a bunch of other exotic sex toys I can’t even begin to fathom. I know ribbed items exist, but is it safe to use!? For that price, me and everyone I know would be using it.
Forbes has an article on it from five years ago. And while trying to do research on this topic, I found an even older Forbes article of another expensive vibrator (only $1.3 million, not even worth talking about). There’s so much I want to know about this thing: How many vibration settings does it have? Is there an app? How long does a charge last? Can I sync it up to my favorite video game so I can get off while I pop off? I don’t think I’ll ever know.
While I’m stuck with this kind of dick, at least I know that someone out there is pleasuring themselves with something worth more than my life…must be nice.
*any purchases made through links on this page don’t benefit me at all. go crazy on yourself
things i read
At the Intersection of A.I. and Spirituality | Eli Tan for NY Times
Competitive shooters are at a crucial crossroads in 2025: 'sweaty' teamplay vs. casual fun | Morgan Park for PC Gamer
A Day in the Life of a Prolific Voice Phishing Crew | Krebs on Security
Elon Musk’s Boring Company Is Building the Vegas Loop With Little Oversight | Daniel Rothberg for ProPublica and Dayvid Figler, City Cast Las Vegas
Why Los Angeles is burning in January | Sachi Kitajima Mulkey & Matt Simon for Grist
Candy Crush, Tinder, MyFitnessPal: See the Thousands of Apps Hijacked to Spy on Your Location | Joseph Cox for 404 Media
Team Fortress 2's just had the single biggest trade in its history, with 'the absolute best hat you can get in the game'… | Rich Stanton for PC Gamer
The School Shootings Were Fake. The Terror Was Real | Dhruv Mehrotra, Andy Greenberg for WIRED
A glowing ring of metal fell to Earth, and no one has any idea what it is | Eric Berger for ArsTechnica
Scammers file first — Get your IRS Identity Protection PIN now | Lawerence Abrams for Bleeping Computer
The Anti-Social Century | Derek Thompson for The Atlantic
Another year, more blackouts in Puerto Rico | Guatama Mehta for Grist
Lawsuit: Allstate used GasBuddy and other apps to quietly track driving behavior | Kevin Purdy for ArsTechnica
How Barcelona became an unlikely hub for spyware startups | Lorenzo Franceschi-Bicchierai for TechCrunch
Walgreens Replaced Fridge Doors With Smart Screens. It’s Now a $200 Million Fiasco | Austin Carr for Bloomberg
She Is in Love With ChatGPT | Kashmir Hill for NY Times
The Powerful AI Tool That Cops (or Stalkers) Can Use to Geolocate Photos in Seconds | Joseph Cox for 404 Media
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