Lattepunk Done Quick
Lattepunk
It’s been a slow week….for some.
This is one of those rare weeks where there’s absolutely nothing I want to write about. Like…nothing has happened this week in my life that I can convert into useful information to apply to your digital life. That’s insane right?
I could have used this slow week to emphasize the fact that you need to keep your devices up to date….but it doesn’t feel right this week. That’s even with Microsoft (obligation to say: f#$% Microsoft) dropping an update for Windows that fixes 142 flaws! Four of those flaws are zero days (with two of those four actively being exploited). Honest question reader, when the last time you’ve updated your router’s software?
But even though it was a slow week for me, it wasn’t slow for everyone. Last week, Games Done Quick had their annual summer showcase Summer Games Done Quick (SGDQ). For one entire week, video gamers come together to beat video games as fast as they can while raising money for charity. Last week they raised $2.5 million dollars for Doctors Without Borders. That’s seriously impressive. If you’re bored, go check out their YouTube channel for every single game they played. I’ll get you started with a few that caught my eye:
You could watch someone beat the original Super Mario Bros. in 5 mins and 23 seconds:
But it’s not just regular games they run, they play fan made romhacks (new versions of old games). This is a version of Super Mario World that they mad WAY harder than it needs to be (and he still made it look easy):
How long would it take you to get 10 stars in Super Mario 64 if every level was randomized? Oh! You’re also blindfolded. It happened in 43 mins and 39 secs:
It’s not all old games. 2022’s Game of the Year ‘Elden Ring’ dropped their latest downloadable content on June 20th. This content was heavily criticized for being too hard. Here’s the first 4 bosses in 26 minutes:
But if you had to only watch one video from the event, might I suggest you watch the run of Ken Griffey Jr. Presents MLB? It took the runner 29 mins and 48 secs to win game. Did I mention the person playing the game isn’t a person but a dog? Yeah! A dog named Peanut Butter. Reader…button!?:
Recommendations
Read:
New Yorkers Were Choked, Beaten and Tased by NYPD Officers. The Commissioner Buried Their Cases. (by Eric Umansky, ProPublica)
The NYPD Commissioner Responded to Our Story That Revealed He’s Burying Police Brutality Cases. We Fact-Check Him. (by Eric Umansky, ProPublica) (These headlines speak for themselves. How is this okay?)
Inside a Violent Gang’s Ruthless Crypto-Stealing Home Invasion Spree (by Andy Greenberg and Matt Giles, Wired) (The cojones on some people. Imagine being tortured for a password to your bitcoin wallet. I lost money the normal way, paper hands when the price dropped. Don’t need to hurt me for me to lose my money.)
The world’s cutest monopoly (by Katherine Laidlaw, The Hustle) (Why is only one brand popular in restroom changing tables?!?! This baffled me. Who wants to design a new table to change a diaper, how hard can it be?)
Hackers abused API to verify millions of Authy MFA phone numbers (by Lawrence Abrams, Bleeping Computer) (Of course after I talk about 2FAs and I point out that Authy is a popular one, they suffer a data breach. Stay diligent readers)
Students Target Teachers in Group TikTok Attack, Shaking Their School (by Natasha Singer, NYT) (I don’t even know how to process this. Your job is to teach the next generation the knowledge and skills for them to use. You're rewarded by that generation making fake tiktok accounts of you and using it to spread misinformation. You can’t pay me enough and I’m hearing they’re aren’t either.)
Watch:
This coming Sunday is the finals for two major soccer tournaments. The Euros is the biggest soccer tournament for European countries. Copa America is the same but for South American countries (and this year some North American countries were invited). You know how the World Cup is big? This is like that but localized to each region.
I can’t stress how fun these tournaments have been. People I know who don’t watch soccer are hitting me about the games. I’m looking forward to Sunday just for the fact that I get my life back. At the time of writing I don’t actually know who’s playing in the finals (Argentina just scored as I write this), hopefully you’ll know by the time you read this.
Protip: Don’t have cable (like me). foxsports.com/live gives you a free preview for 1 hour. If you clear your cookies or watch from a private tab, you can get another 1 hour preview when you go back to the site. Who’d a known!?
What: Euros 24 Final When: July 14th, 3pm Eastern Standard Time Who: Spain vs Winner of Netherlands/England
What: Copa America 24 Final When: July 14th, 8pm Eastern Standard Time Who: Winner of Argentina/Canada vs Winner of Uruguay/Colombia
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