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I was a dancer for 13 years. I did ballet, jazz, tap, and modern. This type of movement made me feel alive. And then I quit when I went to college, because I didn’t make time for it. I, and probably my body, regret this.

Throughout my 20s, I felt physically stuck. I wasn’t interested in moving my body, because moving my body meant feeling things. Part of this fear was certainly related to various sexual assaults I had experienced, and part of it was my anxiety disorder. Exercise or any type of movement felt scary to me. I would get nervous feeling my heart beat faster. I would get uneasy feeling warmer. The irony was that I was so constricted inside, but this constriction made it terrifying (and often impossible) for me to let go and move. My body felt like it was holding its breath. And that felt safe and normal for me.