January 5, 2024

No I will not "declutter"

It's not that I like being untidy, just that the concept of decluttering makes my hackles rise

I have a carefully curated collection of pet peeves, but the specific one I want to talk about today is the word "decluttering". It's an ugly formation - a verbed noun with a prefix to make it even clunkier, and the existing word "tidying" already covers the whole meaning, but there's a bigger reason I'd be happy never to hear it again.

While "tidying" is fairly neutral about the items being tidied, "decluttering" makes a judgment. The source of untidiness is "clutter", and the purpose of tidying is to remove it. And the meaning of "clutter" seems to be a moving target that depends on who exactly is passing judgment. I watched a video that claims all clutter is caused by deferred decisions or incomplete actions, which would be a helpful and sensible definition. However, I think this may be a minority definition because it explicitly classified large items that you've chosen to save as a storage issue rather than strictly clutter.

It may be confirmation bias on my part, but everyone who embraces the term "decluttering" appears to think clutter is literally anything that you're not using right at this moment, and that the way to handle it is to throw it all out and supposedly feel freed.

At this point, it feels apt to mention Marie Kondo, whose name has apparently entered the English language with a meaning of "ruthlessly purge". That's rather a disservice to Kondo, whose philosophy seems to be that you should think about what you own and avoid buying on impulse or keeping out of obligation, not that you need to justify all your possessions and throw out the ones that don't make the cut. I used to butt heads with professionals regularly about this. As a depressed parent with very little energy and a child to create extra mess, I deferred a lot of decisions and left a lot of actions incomplete. A little bit of practical help with that would have been extremely welcome, but instead I was challenged over every item.

"Do you really need so many baking sheets?" they asked, at a time when I was baking professionally. I explained that yes, there were times when it would be more convenient if I had a few more, and they looked at me skeptically. Then they moved on to my Shelf of Pride, a collection of books and magazines that I had contributed to, asking me if I really needed those. I'm sure they sincerely believed they were following Kondo's precepts with that approach. I can't really consider "decluttering" neutrally now, because the word alone takes me back to those conversations and all of the frustration they brought. I instinctively suspect anyone who uses it of harbouring the same attitudes, and I reject it as if my very identity was under threat.

If "decluttering" goes with a minimalist ethos, I suppose my ethos would be "maximalist". Rather than getting rid of things I never use, I prefer to find opportunities to use them. Depression and logistical problems often mean I can't do as much as I'd like to, but at New Year's or when I try to dig into tidying, I make a mental note to finish that project, use some of that stash, or at least organise it in a pleasing way.

Other people can enjoy the sterile beauty of a completely clear work surface; it's not my thing. I want everything I'm likely to need standing out where I can easily reach it. And I think there's another kind of beauty in a home where life is obviously happening: biscuits cooling under a tea towel, a sewing project laid aside ready to pick up again later, plants on the windowsill, clothes drying on the airer. Expecting it all to be tidied away prioritises one aesthetic over all others - and also over the practicalities of daily life.

That's not to say I don't aspire to a tidier home. The less I have to move when I clean, the easier the task is, and the current level of disorder has made it difficult to find the things I need. I don't have nearly enough storage, so tidying up often means shifting the unfinished projects and various problem items from one temporary resting place to the next and hoping the general trend is towards tidiness. At my most optimistic, I see organising my home as a long term project; more realistically it's the kind of task my dad referred to as "painting the Forth Bridge"1 that will never be completed.

Talking about "decluttering" obscures that reality. It implies that the problem is located in the clutter, and once that's removed everything will be tidy. But unless you're a perfectly organised person in a supremely minimalist home, the clutter will simply build up again as soon as you try to get on with life. So I will tidy, and I will organise, and sometimes I will even donate things to the charity shop or put them out with the rubbish, but I will never, ever declutter.