Archive • Darius’s Writings • Buttondown

A few years ago, the therapy group I was in was discussing coping techniques, and the facilitator asked what might be some barriers to the crisis team's...

"Just like a household budget"

When politicians are making the case for cutting public services, they often use the analogy of a household budget. If you, the member of the electorate...

The shadow of AIDS

I'm from the generation that was raised to be well and truly terrified of AIDS. The first blitz of leaflets and adverts that came with the understanding that...

Kazuo Ishiguro: Never Let Me Go

February 28, 2025

I read Never Let Me Go for the first time on an overnight trip to Barrow-in-Furness. The surroundings - a bench outside a nightclub and a railway waiting...

February 21, 2025

I freely admit I'm very superstitious about football. Given that I walked a mile out of my way last Saturday to buy a sandwich that I hoped would make us...

The men I meet on Grindr

February 7, 2025

About three years ago, I had several people suggest to me that signing up for Grindr might be safer and more convenient than travelling to a distant city and...

"Not interested in politics"

January 31, 2025

What is the politics that people aren't interested in? Is there another kind?

"Stop self-diagnosing with depression"

January 24, 2025

What it really means to stop self-diagnosing with mental illness and why it's actually quite sinister

Further thoughts on rubbish

January 17, 2025

It's not just broken donations. We seem very uncomfortable with having to throw certain things away

Don't donate a headache

January 11, 2025

Give generously to your local charity shop. But try to give thoughtfully too

January 3, 2025

The date changes, so I might as well take stock

Transphobia and the trans child

December 20, 2024

Letting children be trans is child abuse, the media screams. I've been through that argument before

December 13, 2024

Labour and their social media cheerleaders assume anyone can work if they just make the effort. It's not that simple

Transphobia and transmisogyny

December 4, 2024

Assorted observations on how sexism means trans men and trans women get distinct types of oppression

Two types of hope

November 27, 2024

"There's always hope," the optimists say. But it's not always the cheerful kind

Existential crisis

November 15, 2024

The complete history of how I lost my faith, 20 years ago this autumn

Halloween skulls

October 30, 2024

Which is more spooky: a malevolent leering skull, or one that looks like lonely death?

A machochist at Thorpe Park

I wouldn't call myself an adrenaline junkie, but there are other ways to enjoy thrill rides

How to worry about your teenager

Parents worry. It's what we do. But there are right and wrong ways to express that worry

Three Lions blues

I have a complicated relationship with "Football's coming home". It brings back memories

Pancakes, waffles, and hopeless arguments

If you like pancakes, do you hate waffles? And is this even an argument worth having?

Peak District adventure

Something a little different: the tale of my trip to Edale with a few pictures I took along the way

"You can't change your sex"

Transphobes love to insist we can't change our sex, but that all depends what definitions you're using. It's certainly not the incontrovertible biological fact they're claiming

The case for touching grass

Online is marvellous, but there are good reasons to cultivate an offline life too

Another mental health post

What everyone calls low self esteem is just me trying to make sense of the senseless

General election blues (or reds?)

Election discourse is getting me down. It's not the first time I've been here

Why I hate Temu

The "shop like a billionaire" platform just sucks on every possible level

Sam Deacon and Samantha Dean

"Where have all the tomboys gone?" the transphobes ask. Two fictional characters from my childhood offer a partial answer

National League North's Most Hated

Some musings on having fallen so far that we're the "big club" everyone wants to see fail

"Stop poisoning children!"

Sometimes a treatment with unpleasant side effects is the only effective treatment

February 23, 2024

Nothing anyone says about depression ever feels relevant to me

No I will not "declutter"

January 5, 2024

It's not that I like being untidy, just that the concept of decluttering makes my hackles rise

Christmas Struggles

December 24, 2023

Some things make Christmas difficult for me, so I try to talk about it

When to fold them

November 22, 2023

Sometimes the most important thing to learn is when to quit, but I can't find anyone to teach me

"Evolution's plan"?

September 14, 2023

Evolution can't have plans, but a lot of people talk as if it did

Is this thing on?

August 25, 2023

I love the bird app, but we never know what feature is going to break next, so time for a back-up. I don't know how I'll adjust to putting my thoughts into a...

August 25, 2023

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