I start writing this in the middle of a snowstorm. So far we have about half a foot of snow with sleet beginning a few hours ago. We are mostly staying inside as it is too cold for Poppy, and us. It sounds like we are in for a very cold week, and I anticipate I will get a lot of work done this week. We haven’t had a bike ride in a long while and a walk in the park in a short while, which makes for a moody Poppy who gets bored easily and wants to play or just get attention. Once you bring her outside, she changes her tune and is happy to head back in to her blue couch.

This is What They Have Always Wanted
The current state of things in this country is what the men I grew cup with have always wanted. The men I grew up around have always wanted what we are seeing in Minneapolis so hard that they made it happen. I was naive for me to fall for the anti-government stories and that the 2nd amendment applied to everyone equally. I’ve long moved beyond having any deep emotional connection with anyone conservative that I can clearly see what this is all about, and I am surprised that I believed in the narrative for as long as I did.

What Will I Do If I Wake Up Tomorrow and You Are Gone
I am processing a lot of anxiety this week. We all are. I work to be there for others, but I also have a lot of anxiety that I haven’t done enough, and I am not doing enough. As always I read and write my way through these moments to keep my overactive mind from getting away with me. Without reading as an escape and writing as a way of getting runaway ideas out of my brain I would be in a lot worse shape. I know all too well what I will do if I wake up tomorrow and you are gone, but it helps to revisit and work through my all of my emotions, so I can come out the other side.

Naftiko in the United States
We got the US subsidiary setup for my new company Naftiko this week, and got payroll up and running. I want to celebrate my work on Naftiko here more as part of my personal narrative. I am extremely proud of what I am building and very much enjoying my work right now. Naftiko is a French company, headquartered in Paris, but we now have an entity in the United States, based in the Philadelphia area. I feel it is important to have a US presence, but I am also very adamant that we are headquartered outside of the US, and I think France is a good balance of what I think is necessary to help lead and tell stories that matter when it comes to technology.

Being Able to See What They Are Doing With Technology
Naftiko is an software integration company. Meaning we are focused on developing the integrations we depend upon to make our businesses and personal live function, but also more transparent and governed. As I have been evangelizing for the last fifteen years, it is important that someone has a working understanding of these things, and that we are collectively working to make them more visible and understandable. Something that is getting increasingly difficult to do in the age of AI. I spend many days completely lost in the noise, and worried I don’t have a clue what I am doing, but then I always come around to a place of clarity and purpose in what I am doing.

Assessing Our Relationship With Technology
I am confident these days that we as a people do not have a healthy relationship with Internet technology. There are so many ways this is obvious in our personal and professional lives. From the iPhone images coming out of Minneapolis to the artificial intelligence infiltrating every aspect of the conversation today. But, the question is, what can you do about it? This is where I come back to my role in paying attention to what we are doing with technology, understanding how it works behind the technology, business, and politics curtain, and telling stories about what I am seeing happen. That is the most important tool in my toolbox. Make sense of how Internet technology is being wield and share stories, while working to maintain my credibility as an expert, but also my sanity as a human.

Balance Across My Domains
I send four separate newsletters on Monday morning. The Naftiko Manifest (Internal), which goes only to my team, board, and advisors. The Naftiko Manifest (Public), which goest to our community. API Evangelist Governance (Guidance), which goes to my professional community. And this one, on a week of being Kin Lane. They are all related and intertwined. It takes me anywhere from 6-10 hours on a Sunday to produce them. I am getting better at it each, and I really am enjoying doing it. The balance across these newsletters helps me think through what I am doing each week, and keep my professional and personal life moving forward. While also helping me to see what we are doing with technology, and what our relationship is. The writing keeps me balanced in a very noisy and uncertain technological landscape.

Struggling
I did not send this email on Monday as I normally would because I was serioiusly struggling. It was all I could do to get my Naftiko and API Evangelist newsletters out. The hypocrisy of the right in this country when it came to the 1st and 2nd Amendment rights of Alex Pretti hit me hard. It was the final pull back of the curtain for the narratives I grew up on. It unraveled the last part of my original American identity. I am still American. I am still a passionate defender of this country and its people, but it forever changed how I approach my politics with the right in this country. All the anti-government and pro free speech and gun rights has been revealed for what it all boils down to for these folks—hatred and fear. 

Snow Storm
We are digging out of the snowstorm in NYC. The streets are clear, and most of the sidewalks are clear. There are the piles of snow from the plows and shoveling at the edge of the sidewalk. It was 9 degrees Fahrenheit this morning when we took Poppy out for the morning pee and poo. It really lets you know you are alive. I much prefer the California climate, but there is a sort of reality shock that comes with winters in the NorthEast that I am getting intimate with. It is related to the awakening of the spring, and the slipping away of the fall. I get it more now. I am getting to know it. I can’t say I like it, but it makes more sense to me. I am making peace with it. I am thankful to be alive and feeling it. ThankYou!

"It's called the American Dream 'cause you have to be asleep to believe it" — George Carlin