My goodness, 2025 was a lot (it was a dumpster fire, if we’re being honest). It was a year of healing and surviving, but now I’m looking ahead to 2026. I want it to be a year where we all thrive and flourish.

Consider this a sort of virtual vision board with reflections about where I’d like to be next year. I’m not really a “set intentions, light the incense” girlie, but I’d like to try and do some things differently. This maybe should be a personal journal entry, but I don’t believe in journaling (for me, lol)! I know it’s frowned upon to be milling about and spilling your feelings in the air, but I just can’t help it. Sometimes I think I’m blessed and cursed to live life as an example to others.

Health & Wellness:
I know I’ve vague-posted about some of my health struggles before (and that’s not going to change today) and MUCH of 2025 was spent dealing with the fallout and repercussions from not taking better care of myself. This does not mean I’m giving in to the current/constant/seasonal/fascist cultural demands for thinness and weight loss. No weight release or before and after bullshit here! - This is still a fat positive zone, y’all - What it does mean? I’m going to get back to pilates, do my skincare routine and use the tools I picked up while in treatment to treat myself with the care I deserve. However, this doesn’t mean I’m just looking after my physical well-being. I’m also going to continue to comply with my medication regimen and therapy schedule. It’s not a chore, it’s self-care. I also fully intend to make some extreme progress in radical self-acceptance and body neutrality. You know, living life, etc.

Relationships:
I am making a solemn vow to cherish the relationships I’ve developed. The people I’ve managed to not run off (this is a thing, really - I am TROUBLE WORK) are making an active choice to be in my life and they deserve that same level of care. Consider this a promise to stop neglecting the connections I’ve made. My psychiatrist suggested I try boosting my mood by working out my socialization muscles. I am one of those people that dreads the going, but I almost always (reluctantly) admit that I had the fun, even if I’m physically pushed to the limit. I want to spend more time with the people I care about - especially my sister (and Benny, the world’s best dog) and friends and less time fixating on the issues that cause me to isolate in the first place. You know, living life, etc.

Experiences:
I’m gonna get out of my sleeping writing chair to go out in the cold world to do shit, fam. I’ve got to get out of the house. Truly live the sex, drugs and rock and roll lifestyle I’ve always desired. I’d like to go see Nine Inch Nails (particularly with my niece in Chicago), go to another omakase (the one at Uchiko was SO GOOD), go swimming, have a martini, try hotpot, take a dj class, meet more of my online friends IRL and learn how to vogue. Basically, do more things with more people. That’s my 2026 list. TOTALLY DOABLE. You know, living life, etc.

Fashion:
What does it mean to dress like a grown woman? I really want to push and sartorially figure myself out. I’ve been so many people over the years - preppy student, boho chic cutie, certified thot, minimalist, maximalist, graphic tee and jeans uniformed, alternababe, all of the Spice Girls and depressed sweatpants girl. I’m (a man, I’m) 40 and it’s high time to invest the time and effort to suss out who I want to be. I’m sure there’s also something to be said here about body acceptance, no longer treating myself as someone in constant flux and unworthy of investment in appearance and not saving the cute shit for special occasions. You know, living life, etc.

Career:
I think I know what I want to do. I am going to keep this one to myself because it’s a little embarrassing. They also say that you should never reveal your full hand. Sidenote: who is “they?”

Writing:
I want to be a better writer. Maybe get paid for it, like I used to. I’m also going to update this newsletter at least once a week. THERE I SAID IT AND IT IS NOW WRITTEN IN STONE.

P.S. I appreciate you all reading and giving me feedback!

These are the core areas of life (that I feel comfortable publicly sharing about) I wish to work on next year.

Looks like I’ve got less than two weeks to get my mind right and tie up any loose ends.

I didn’t get a second chance at life to just let life happen to me.

I want to live.

Enjoyed small butt, big frown #6? Tip me so I can buy a Last Time is Now John Cena action figure.