#5 | Striving for imperfect imperfection
Hello friends and strangers, Welcome.
My coach challenged me to publish one newsletter this week without thinking too much about how others will perceive it.
It has been three or four weeks since my last newsletter. Tons of stuff happened - I went to New York for work, checked off a few restaurants/bars on my list, started working with my coach, and increased weekly training from one to three times. There should be a lot of reflections and things to write about. Yet, I have 2 drafts with broken thoughts lying in Bear and neither of them were published.
It felt challenging to finish the two short newsletters which I have been writing - one about why I liked New York and another one on remote working.
I like New York, period. There are many people in the world who dislike this city, even New York residents, but it’s not part of my plan trying to change their minds. I couldn’t finish the article on my thoughts about New York since the more I wrote, the more I felt I was trying to convince everyone that New York is the greatest place in the world. If not, why would I even bother writing about it?
In addition, I’m tired about the comparison between Toronto and other cities. Since I moved here last summer from Quebec, conversations always started with how Montreal is better and how the cities are different. Talking about New York seems to have the same effect - first we talk about Manhattan, then we compare it to Toronto. 12 months ago it would still be fresh and interesting. However there are only so many things to talk about and the city hasn’t changed much.
The other draft on remote working seems more practical thus it went slightly better than the New York piece. With the layoffs and hiring freezes happening recently, which have impacted people close to me, it felt out of place to discuss why I would prefer remote working over going into the office. Remote working, or working in general, feels like a privilege not to be complained about.
Thoughts I’d like to share in the newsletters seem trivial and are merely first-world problems. I might as well criticize the bread from that French restaurant around the corner or the cheese plate at that airport lounge. At least from where I stand.
This inner-criticism strives for perfection. Procrastination is only a byproduct.
I started working with my coach to identify these inner criticisms. She reminded me my motivation of writing: 1) to organize my own thoughts and 2) potentially inspire other people just like how I was inspired by the writers, bloggers, and newsletter curators. End results have nothing to do with my motivations. I had strong opinions around New York and working from home, and who know, there might even be people out there that find my take on New York inspiring and decide to move there for a change.
Every time I write an academic paper I feel it’s never good enough - there’s always one more reference I could include to add more colour to the arguments, there’s always a better way to write a concise abstract. Then I always think about how Tim Ferris would say, “what does it look like if it was easy?” If it was easy, I’ll articulate my arguments with the references I have prepared.
I wouldn’t say I’m 100% happy about this 600-word rambling. What does it look like if it was easy? I would write down and organize my thoughts, I would record my point of view, and what comes after wouldn’t matter, for better or for worse.
So here it is.
-- Until next time.