June Recap

As the world cup kicked into gear this month I couldn’t help thinking about expectations, failure and the way these concepts blind us to the meaning that is inherent in doing.

I admit it - I got caught up in the hype, I bought the (actually really quite cool) away shirt, I allowed myself to believe and I was left disappointed. But isn’t that the point? Scotland were never going to be lifting the trophy come the 19th July, it was the journey that we were engaged with - the underdog tale of making it to the big tournament and giving it a go against the odds. That the odds were correct is simply evidence of our hopes and achievements.

We are all the underdogs in the story of our own lives. Even those blessed with the privilege of wealth or connections will look up and see those with an easier path to success. We narrativise our accomplishments in a Hollywood three-act structure - we faced down our fears, defeated the nay-sayers and are rewarded with the spoils of external validation for our efforts. But what do we do when our victories exist on a more modest scale?

Some people inflate the importance of their lives. We have all met those unfortunate souls who go mad on the smallest amount of power, running their call centre team like a squad of olympic figure skaters or pretending that their office job has life or death consequences for their clients. This is a human need to create meaning where there is none. We are not all firemen pulling children from the wreckage, nor surgeons negotiating a life-saving procedure. Some of us may be heading towards far humbler objectives.

And it is on this journey that we may stop to appreciate the process itself rather than its outcome. We are so often focused on the exalted end-point of a project when the meat of the experience is in its doing - the magical transference from idea to reality. Sometimes we are so enamoured with the sparkling treasure of finishing the race that we do not take the requisite time to appreciate the scenery on the way.

I was reminded of this as I began a new project with the Inverclyde Creative Recovery group at the Beacon Arts Centre. We have a clear end-point - a full theatre show we need to produce and perform by the end of September. I overflowed with manifestations as to how this performance will go, how it will look, what it will mean to people. I had already decided on its unqualified success in advance. But like the Scottish football team we began to stumble from the outset when encumbered by the weight of expectation. Absences, competing ideas, differing expectations - nothing was as I had visualised.

But after a few sessions, something clicked - I realised that the show is the least of the project. It’s a destination, a deadline, not our reason for being. The reason we’re here is to create art together and enjoy each other’s company, for me to facilitate creativity and help grow the confidence of the participants. The final performance will be a celebration of our weekly practice, not a judgement to be deflected. We’re not going to win the world cup with this show but the fact we’re even getting the chance to create it in the first place feels like we made it to our own personal finals.

I can easily apply this lesson to my own life and career. I’ve been so driven to achieve the next goal and reach the next milestone that I have rarely stopped to marvel at the arc of my journey. And when I reach one of these elusive objectives, how long do I enjoy it for? Roughly two minutes before it has faded in significance and the next rung has appeared before me like a taunt.

We can learn a lot about what’s really important by studying our route and not our destination. What has been the outline of our expedition? What unexpected gems did it lead us to unearth? What did we discover about ourselves en route? If this life is really a journey then our trips are all bearing towards the same terminus and we might be better served to stop rushing and enjoy the trip. And even if we get put out early, at least we got to wear a cool shirt while we failed.

Where can you find me in July?

3rd July

I’ll be back hosting Speakeasy Stirling at the Creative Stirling Hub, 44 King Street. Guests include Shuggy Mungo, Catherine Wilson Garry, Paddy Linton and Ruth Hunter.

30th July

Come join us for the official Glasgow screening of Personal Best at The Alchemy Experiment, Byres Road, featuring an exclusive Q&A.

Personal Best is an elegiac ode to the art of urban running. A collaboration between poet Kevin P. Gilday and director Nadia Valkanova, the film was shot guerilla-style on the streets of Glasgow over the course of a year, charting the changing character of a city in flux. A dynamic confluence of images mimics the propulsive movement of running while the poetic composition meditates on what we’re really running from when we lace up our trainers. A film poem capturing the loneliness of the long-distance runner while celebrating exercise as an egalitarian means of escape from societal anxiety.

The film will be played throughout the duration of the event and drinks are available all night so feel free to join us anytime between 7-9pm to hang out and enjoy the piece.

6th August

Join me at the Glad Cafe for Spiral, Scratch - a night of new material and work-in-progress sharing. Expect poetry, comedy, monologue and music from a range of projects in progress - many of which will be being performed for the very first time. First half will see scratch performances from some special guests and an open mic for sharing new work.

Work in Progress

Every month I aim to share a bit of work in progress. This could be a poem, a section of a play or just a snippet of writing I find interesting. This month I’m sharing a work in progress poem based on (ripped off from) Roddy Lumsden’s poem ‘The Man I Could Have Been’ - a favourite of mine that I couldn’t help reimagining through my own lens.

From the Archive

Courier Culture, a short film from 2020 exploring the myth of essential workers and the precarious nature of the gig economy.

Thanks for subscribing to my newsletter, please feel free to let me know if you enjoyed it and would like to see more/less of anything in particular. I’ll be back with another update next month but in the meantime you can follow me on social media @kevinpgilday - with instagram being where I’m most active nowadays.

‘Life Can Only Be Understood Backwards, But It Must Be Lived Forwards’
Søren Kierkegaard

Cheers,
Kev x