dear stranger-friends,
I won't lie, I lived most of this last week in tired tornado weather - while it's been rainy and windy on the island - and I try to decide what to do, where to go next. I guess I'm not meant to be in a tiny house, alone, forever. I think i'll be in paris by friday, then amsterdam, then back to istanbul.
this week: some reflections on the process of leaving, saying goodbye to my cactus fruit, and a five minute PMS animation that felt so cathartic to make - just to remind myself that feelings don't last forever. other things:
I binged dogs of berlin over the weekend and it made me so nostalgic for the feeling of berlin - so much so that I think I'll resume my deutsch studies, and go back next summer. I definitely recommend this show for its complexity of characters, unpredictablility, and for tangibility of racial, cultural tensions.
I listened to this ahmad zahir song yesterday that made me sad for a good two hours. during which, I watched this sunset:
now i think i will go and book flights - to depart in 3 days. yet again, i'm thinking how strange it is - to leave worlds so quickly. i don't think i'll ever get used to the feeling.
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i'm wishing you
the infinite patience
to sit with yourself
no matter what,
kening
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inner resources from the archives
the art of wellbeing wheel - all the elements for being well. i think i'll finally begin the course
no plans in the creative wild - on trusting in the present moment to lead the way
emotions are like birds - i wrote this a billion years ago, but i still do this practice
dreamflowing vs. housekeeping - finding the balance between modes of working
the mood thermometer - i still use this tool EVERYDAY
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i picked a cactus fruit from the middle of nowhere, and then i got attached. now it’s time to say goodbye.
it usually takes me a long time to leave. leave anything: a place, a relationship, a job, an entire world of the known. I have to think about leaving for days, weeks, or months - even years - there is so much ruminating, back and forth, so much friction and resistance. choosing the unknown is always harder than the current reality - simply because it is unknown.
the act of leaving is a process (by now, a ritual) which begins the moment I ask the question: should I leave?
pms looks like this
like i don’t even have the patience to draw a proper picture
thank you for reading my weekly digest. write me back anytime.