guide.notes 33 | botanical studies of internet magic
dear worldly friends,
I woke up at 3:55am today, unexpectedly, (due to a terrorizing mosquito) and decided to start working in the dark. by 10am, I had already been working for 5 hours -- somehow, this changed the entire shape of my day. time morphed into a completely different creature (like, from an anxious rabbit to a giant snake, molting skin).
have you ever experienced this?? I've been amazed, and perplexed.
this week: I launched a podcast, began writing a new series on forming a vision, and reflected on the practice of keeping an inspiration log.
~~~
🎙️ the birthing of a podcast
this process felt both really hard and also, strangely effortless. I was daunted by the multi-step process of creating an audio baby. I spent years thinking about it. last summer, I centered on a title. in the last six months, I drew two podcast art covers.
then, this week: I wrote the first episode text (Monday), recorded the audio (Tuesday), learned how to edit (yesterday). today, I figured how to post it. now you can find it:
Listen on Apple Podcast
Listen on Spotify
When I hit "publish" and watched myself show up on these platforms, I felt slightly terrified and weirdly naked -- like leaving my hermit-world for the first time in YEARS, going out into the trees, and speaking to a mountain where passerbys might be able to hear me. I definitely felt the urge to hide. Oh well, too late...
episode 1: hello friend, welcome. — kening zhu
an introduction; an unspooling of threads and themes
👁️ guides: a new series on vision
in January, I spent most of the month writing about world-building. this month, I decided to start at the very beginning, and write about what it means to have a vision -- the seed that begins all seeds.
why vision is your power — kening zhu
how a vision is more than a goal, plan, mission, dreams, or idea
📓 public diaries
digesting what your mind consumes
I've been thinking about the relationship between absorption of culture and actively digesting it, and letting it feed back into your ecosystem as (compost/fertilizer?) I realized that my relationship to information consumption has changed radically over the course of my life -- in 5 distinct phases.
why keep an inspiration log: the practice of psychic nourishment — kening zhu
on actively relating to art, culture & knowledge
a story of where I'm blocking myself (with fear + fight), and how to use the unconscious feminine + masculine creative fire to alchemize and move forwards.
tarot work diary | the high priestess, two of wands, king of wands — kening zhu
unblocking my flow through feminine intuition and masculine alchemy
🗺️ guide from my past self
3 years ago: I was noticing that I felt most in flow when my mind and body were able to embody stillness. (sometimes, the opposite is also true - I feel a outpour of ideas while on a long walk). but I think this is one of the reasons why I work well in the very early morning darkness. stillness allows my mind to dance.
flow comes from your place of stillness — kening zhu
harnessing the energy of creative flow
📝 notes: what's rolling around my mind
1 | the animal-shapeshifting nature of time: the reason why time felt like a molting snake today (see intro) is probably because, in addition to waking up at 4am, I took a 20 minute nap in the afternoon, and it felt like a 2 hour nap. after a week (uh, years??) of feeling the pressure of time-scarcity, I'm blown away by how 3 extra darkness hours, alone, completely changes my experience of a 24 hour day. what if I worked from 5am-2pm, and took the rest of the day off???
2 | afternoon nap ritual: in college, I used to doze off, everyday, around 2:30pm, no matter how much I loved the lecture or class I was in. what if I were to deliberately create a daily nap ritual -- not a reclining chair nap, but a close-the-curtains, change-into-pajamas, pretend-it's-night kind of nap. if I can't fall asleep, maybe I'll read a book, or listen to a meditation, and float off into a dreamy, liminal space. then, when I get up, isn't it like experiencing not one day, but TWO?
🎨 colorable to-do list (week 4)
🌕 inspiration log
hopefully longer reflections on these, coming soon.
a film I watched: oppenheimer (2023) a very talk-y christopher nolan film about what is essentially dense, cold war era government bureaucracy, nesting the dilemmas of the atomic bomb. (7/10)
a podcast about it: the oppenheimer discussion by cinema of meaning from two video essayists - their conversations are always emotionally attuned, critical, and insightful.
a film I watched: brand new testament (2015) a belgian dark comedy that flips everything on its head.
an essay I read: how should one read a book? by virginia woolf I discovered this while browsing a bookshop in Istanbul.
💌 ask me / tell me anything
send me a note via this minimalist form, or hit reply:
❓ open question
how do you slow down time -- or your perception and experience of time?
how do you make time feel more elastic, abundant, or full?
when you want an experience, day, or moment to last longer, do you have any practices or things that you do?
❤️ until next week,
thank you for reading.
kening
🌱 PS. idea-seeds & urges
starting to sketch out my "work with me" page, and thinking of what kinds of aligned clients I'd like to invite into my life.
a new website-world about tango -- as a lens for exploring gender dynamics, feminism, and culture. why? I've been dancing tango for almost a decade, and feeling very disgusted-bored with the toxic dynamics in Istanbul.
a "work from bed" day. doing work that has no real deadline and no urgency; only pleasure.
🪷 this is guide.notes 33, a weekly letter on nourishing an embodied, rich creative life in psychic, digital, and material worlds.