dear kindred friends,

I'm writing you a day late, savoring a gentle end to a bad week -- that is, I spent Monday-Wednesday walking through a "dark tunnel of the mind-emotional-prison-abyss," (aka, pms week...) and experienced a mini, scorpionic death and rebirth.

from 3 years ago:

the dark tunnel room — kening zhu

the state of the day

I'm feeling a thousand percent better.

but, for a hot second, I felt like I had emotionally regressed, and couldn't touch the version of me that I worked so hard to embody -- the me that's razor focused, in full flow, inspired, and in love with life.

for a few days, I felt stuck in old patterns and obsessive death spirals in my head. (inner monologue: I thought I had updated my software!?! what happened??)

inner resources are everything

if you've been receiving my work for a while, you'll know that I spent many years writing and reflecting, obsessively, on wellbeing practices -- as if, as a sensitive, emotional being in the world, just doing the work of feeling well was so damn hard -- let alone creating art; let alone making money, or having a business. it was my source of deep angst and frustration, then obsession, and then, resilience and resourcefulness.

the lesson I come back to, again and again, is that growth is never linear. we grow in circles, always, and the most important thing is to treat ourselves with as much compassion and tenderness as possible -- the way you'd treat a best friend, or younger sister, or your own child.

these days, I still think of wellbeing as #1 on the priority list -- because all else: making art, sharing our work, building a sustainable business -- depends on the strength, resilience, and depth of our relationship with ourselves.

I decided that I'll dedicate this week's letter to a "bad week remedy kit" -- reminders to you (and to myself) that bad weeks pass, and no, you didn't regress, and: these weeks only make you stronger, wiser, and richer.

BAD WEEK REMEDY KIT

a collection curated from my archives

01 | Sleep as much as you can

you'll wake up different

sleep makes things softer — kening zhu

my mind is softer, less full of sharp things

sleep zine: on nurturing a new ritual — kening zhu

i made a ritual zine about sleep

02 | Write yourself love letters

only you know what to say, and what you need to hear

write yourself love letters — kening zhu

part of the personal journey of becoming my wise woman self is knowing when — and how — to write to myself. how to write deliberately and passionately for an audience of one.

03 | Seek practices for nourishment

what's real nourishment for you?

false comfort vs. nourishment — kening zhu

A fundamental skill in the hard discipline of caring for oneself is discerning the difference between false comfort and nourishment.

04 | Listen to music, like medicine

find the frequencies that soothe your soul. take a walk with it

make a medicine song playlist — kening zhu

here is a good thing to have in your emotional medicinal closet — a personalized playlist of medicine songs. by that i mean: a short curation of songs to listen to when you're feeling especially terrible, and need to self-soothe, ground, or remind yourself that the apocalyptic world in your head — i

05 | Be present with the feeling

even when it's really bad

anxiety feels like being slowly eaten alive — kening zhu

anxiety feels like being attacked by flesh-eating birds - while you are the one inside the birdcage. always trapped. breathing, but just barely.

06 | Do shadow work

cast light on the darkness

simple shadow work: a practice for psychic decluttering — kening zhu

a simple journaling practice for clearing space

deep journaling: a brief guide — kening zhu

unpacking difficult emotions

07 | Remind yourself daily

one of my first animated gif that I made, ever! from 2020.

that's all for this week, my friends. I really hope you didn't have a bad week, but if/when you do - know that you are never alone, and even if you think you're dying, 100% of the time, you'll survive, enrich your inner wealth, and thrive.

sending a hug from a sunny friday in istanbul,
kening

this is guide.notes 24, weekly letters on the art and practice of nourishing a soulful life on the internet.