guide.notes 20 | a secret project
dear gentle friends,
last night I dreamed that I was inside a website. I was going in circles and ended up on the homepage, again and again. the structure of a website is very conducive to a dream. and vice versa. (if I can dream about a website, then I can make a website like a dream). all this too say -- I've been so busy with world-building work, I haven't had time to finish my own.
this week, I talked to my partner about the future and realized that I'm at the age where I feel the urge to plan a little -- not in terms of days or weeks, but years -- marriage, children, travel, house -- that list of things that normal people do. those rites of passages that I think I'll want -- at least, my own version of them.
but, thinking in terms of years felt scary -- and suddenly, counting the years (2023, 2024, 2025, 2026...) I wondered: what year will it be when I die? at first, that thought was difficult to hold -- and then it was somehow... liberating.
inspiration log
watched: the social dilemma (2020) this is a great documentary to watch when you need a reason/reminder to disengage from social media. I don't use social, and feel occasional questionings (should I come back?) and this documentary makes a dire case. I didn't necessarily learn anything new, but I felt newly repulsed.
listening to: my tiny tarot practice (podcast) this week I started a daily tarot practice of pulling 1 card a day, and meditating/thinking about the card throughout the day. my friend amelia has a sweet little podcast full of gentle wisdom that I listen to every morning.
reading: 78 degrees of wisdom, by rachel pollack. wow, this book has really opened my psyche up to the possibilities and potentalities of tarot. it's deeply philosophically and psychologically rich. it's helped me see tarot as a narrative tool for making meaning, and a spiritual tool for honing intuition (more so than divination).
listening to: moon matters: on chiron (podcast) I discovered this podcast while researching chiron -- and felt totally pulled into a new fascination with astrology. I think I listened to 5 of her episodes in one day.
listened to: ffern: as the season turns (podcast) a monthly podcast that feels more like ambient atmosphere than anything, setting the mood for the seasonal changes of each month. september was very soothing. it's produced by an artisanal perfumery brand that looks artistic and interesting, and like the kind of business I want to build one day.
watched: ram dass, going home such a beautiful, poetic, profound short meditation on death, told from the teachings and words of the spiritual teacher Ram Dass in the year preceding his death. it was like a potent glass of soul water -- to reminded that this time is so fleeting.
a little paper thing I made this week
it felt so good to touch paper and scissors and glue.
moon shaped time cards — kening zhu
a poetic tool for parceling time
secret project: i'm working on a podcast!
this has been in the works (a.k.a the bottomless hole of my mind) for many months now, but last week I threw together a podcast cover, and this week I started outlining the first episode. let's see when I'll have it ready for you... ! I'm super excited.
podcast art: the botanical studies of internet magic — kening zhu
the beginning of something new
that's all for tonight, my friends. I'm wishing you soft slow slumbers through dream webs.
kening
this is guide.notes no. 20, weekly letters on the labor of love of growing a digital mind/heart/soul world on the internet wild.