dear creative friends,

this is guide.notes 11; where I nerd out loud on the process of nurturing a soft and true creative life in a capitalist world.

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I won't lie, this week my brain is mush. when summer hits me in the face, my body starts to feel like it's swimming through molasses. more significantly, my parents are visiting / living with me for two weeks -- which means I'm spending days being enthusiastic tour guide / translator / chinese daughter / defender of my sanity (and my father's wallet from snake-tongued Turkish carpet sellers at the Grand Bazaar!), and nights at my computer, in bed, working in the dark (like now).

arguing with chinese parents about money is a futile exercise
today, I spent four hours in a lecture-interrogation regarding my career choices, filled with lots of shouting (just my father's natural volume), and hard questions that, really, have no answers. for example:

• "do you know the opportunity cost of you not getting a high-paying (corporate) job right after you graduated from Columbia, at age 22?" (the answer, apparently, is $3 million) (-- my father)

• "what will happen if you can't pay your rent, or can't afford dog food, or if you get sick when you're 65, and can't pay your medical bills?" (-- my mother)

of course, hard questions are my parents' way of showing love -- love through fear -- and deflecting their own anxieties around aging. I'm well aware that being my mother or father is no fun for the risk-averse. it's like trying to cheering on your child who wants to leave a comfy post as a ski instructor -- to go hitchhike in the wilderness, in the dead of winter. (haha, can you tell I miss the cold?!?)

asking yourself the right hard questions

since my morning interrogation, I noticed that I wanted to write down a list of questions that felt like an antidote to anxiety -- questions like a soothing balm, which engaged with my inner workings of process, and felt supportive to my growth; expansive, rather than triggering feelings of scarcity.

I think there is so much power in asking yourself hard questions -- even if they're confronting - as long as they're asked with an energy of curiosity. I try to ask myself hard questions everyday; to hold them in my pocket like seaglass, and let my mind wash over them.

hard questions can feel like prison bars, or they can feel like doors leading into new pathways, and possibilities.

for my letter today, I want to share a list of my own door-opening questions.

CREATING
- how do I open up more pockets of time and space to create, throughout the day?
- in what tangible ways does my creation nourish the rest of my life?
- what beliefs or mental blocks are keeping me from completing pieces of work?
- how can I build collections around a theme, without getting bored?
- if money was no concern, what (and how) would I spend my time creating?
- how do I create systems that support my fullest creation?
- what work do I long to create that I'd be truly proud of?

SHARING
- how can sharing my work feel like a form of play?
- how can sharing itself feel sacred?
- how can I share what I create, more effortlessly, without overthinking it?
- how can I learn to inhabit my own energy and essence -- even as I share on other platforms?
- what beliefs do I need to shift to allow a flow of sharing my work?
- in which ways am I afraid to be seen?
- in which ways do I want to be seen?
- how do I create systems that support my effortless sharing?

OFFERINGS
- how do I create offerings that feel as nourishing and exciting to me -- as my art?
- how do I decide where to put my energy when it comes to developing different offerings?
- how do I price my offerings in a way that feels truly reciprocal of my time / energy / efforts?
- how do I "market" / sell / share them in a way that feels aligned with my essence and ethos?
- how do I create systems that support my creating offerings?

CLIENT WORK
- how can I create boundaries around client work such that it feels like an energetically nourishing relationship?
- how can I serve my clients joyfully - rather than harboring resentments?
- how do I discern the right clients for me?
- how do I share my offerings in a way that attracts those right clients?
- when do I feel like I'm operating at my best in relation to clients?
- how do I create systems that support my client work?

WEBSITE
- how can my website better reflect who I am right now, and who I wish to be?
- how can my website structure evolve to support my intentions -- for sharing and offering?
- how can I divide up my website redesign project into managable, actionable chunks?
- how can my website feel both magical AND effective? (define effective)
- how can I experiment with new creative forms and interactions - through my website?
- how can I use website design as a space for unabashed play?

INNER WORK
- what beliefs do I need to let go of - in order to expand?
- what energy do I need to lean into, and embrace?
- how can I tend to the wounds that need healing?
- what would I do -- if I had no fear?
- how would I approach my life and work with an attitude of 100% suffiency?

dear friends, I think every post you read from me in the past months was a direct result of me asking myself hard questions, and writing my way into the (ongoing) answer. I believe that if you can articulate the question -- than somewhere, deep down -- you know at least a part of the answer. both the right questions -- and the right answers -- are different for everyone.

so I'll ask you now:

what questions do you feel called to ask yourself?

I think I write these "guide.notes" not as a GUIDE for you, but to remind you -- and me -- that we are ultimately all guides for ourselves. we have the answers we need, if we can ask (and face) the right questions.

A Quick PS.
Please fill out my google forms survey for microgardens, my experimental creative community -- currently in active fermentation mode -- if you haven't already / and feel interested!

Your workshop requests:
thank you for your inputs! here are the top 3 workshops you seemed the most excited about:

(1) handdrawn website - a minimalist exercise for your world
(2) art as seeing - visual inspiration from your daily life
(3) personal branding - that feels like coming home

next Tuesday, I'll send my 3-months-long delayed artist digest, when -- hopefully -- I'll have more inspiration to share on those topics. I'll sign off good night here, in this rare, text minimalist email.

Oh wait, one last thing, out of curiosity :)

my soul hugs you from here,
kening