dear friends,

on wednesday I celebrated my birthday by renting a boat and going on a 3 hour sunset ride along the Bosphorus strait with my partner, dog, and a few friends. it had been a dream of mine ever since moving to Istanbul — that my birthday would be lived on water, floating in the liminal space between two continents.

what I did not expect was that the Bosphorous would be so rough, our wine glasses would slide off the table, the doors would slam open and shut, and the constant smell of petrol smoke would induce a nausea that meant I struggled to eat dinner, and spent a part of the evening trying not to think about the possibility of throwing up.

but, the water was absolutely as magical as I had imagined, even in the cold of late november. there was no glorious sunset, but there was a hazy twilight, and the soft darkness of a new moon. it was very scorpio iii. from the distance, the opulent ottoman palaces that lined the Bosphorous looked like extravagant wedding cakes, abandoned mid-feast, frozen in time.

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is it normal to think about death on your birthday?

that morning, I reflected on how, if life were measured as a battery life, there is a high likelihood that I have approximately 60% left. I returned to the thought that I (none of us) asked to be born (or did we?), and yet, we’re tasked with spending a lifetime bearing witness to this world. beyond the effort of survival, beyond the mundane logistics, beyond the communal and social structures that hold us (somewhat) in place, how do we figure out what to do with the remainder of our battery life? this work is tiring, and hard.

but, it was a very sweet and perfect day — perfect in the ways that my Scorpio birthdays usually are, with micro-doses of adrenaline, anxiety, drama, existential terror, served with a generous side of melancholy. and, of course liminality would make me super nauseous.

after our boat time, we went home, lit candles, cut a lemon cake I baked, and drank coffee at 10pm. I was most happy just sharing cake with friends. after they left, I fell asleep immediately, and dreamed strange dreams about traveling — by holding tightly onto a single balloon — over cheetah and baboon-filled autumnal landscapes. after my balloon started deflating, I panic-landed on a castle, which then morphed into a high-rise mall.

I was relieved to wake up.

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I loved having this conversation with Cody Cook-Parrot on their podcast, Common Shapes — about creating ecosystems, weaving web worlds, and the integration of art and business.

Cody is such an example of a generous, grounded approach to making the multi-faceted creative life sustainable, tangible, and supported. their podcast and soothing voice has been my ongoing companion through long city walks in Istanbul.

take a visit to Cody’s gorgeous website, and pre-order their new book, The Practice of Attention.

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on why it feels so damn hard to call yourself “an artist,” — on owning our undomestication, and our right to exist, survive, and thrive in this word.

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my future self had already jumped

in which I deconstruct exactly how (and why) I convinced myself to bungee jump over a 216m bridge. on fear as a portal to the sublime, and doing the literal thing of a metaphor I use all the time — leaping (more like free falling) into the unknown.

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dosing the poison cure, scorpio II

I thought a lot about fear as a poison cure - and doing the things you fear is like getting an instant vaccine.

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premonitions of holding a snake

my ongoing obsession with snakes, and how holding a snake gave me a moment of deep peace and meditation.

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on self-doubt as my number one companion & villian-turned-best-friend, especially on this pathless path.

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eye of the storm, libra iii

noticing growth as the capacity to hold all of life’s storms.

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on non-linear journeys of success, and navigating deeper into your own center.

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hunger for a creative feast, scorpio i

inspired by LJ’s work in Slow Practice — on relating to creative work not as rigid discipline, but as feasting on a cake.

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projecting dream realities, scorpio iii

my birthday decan — on traveling the liminal spaces between fantasy and reality

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FROM THE ARCHIVES

scorpio self-care: an ongoing guide

from the era when i really struggled with holding all the feelings, and felt a little less crazy thinking about scorpio-ness (2020)

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all the simit on the bottom of the bosphorous

on being baffled by why people throw bagels to feed seagulls (2022)

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how to grow a vision: a cyclical unfolding

a cyclical process of birthing and tending to any creative seed (2024)

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NOTES & SEEDS

• Labyrinth Library, my seasonal community, will run its next winter/spring season february-may, 2026. we’re currently in week 8 and I’m constantly delighted and amazed by the generosity, magic, and heart of the members in this space. I was hesitant to run a community for many years, but Labyrinth has felt like a grounding feast for my soul. pencil in your name for next season here.

• I’m very slowly incubating a 6-8 week course for early 2026 called Digital Abundance — all about the alchemy of creative dreams into money & material resources. it’ll be a deep grappling with money, enoughness, radical ways of doing business, and how to create offerings that feel generative, sustainable, and life-giving — for you and your world. much more soon…

• I recently taught a workshop inside Labyrinth called Playgrounds & Cocoons: Shaping Containers to Hold Creative Energy - I am excited to share it with you in December.

• I traveled to South Africa recently for an amazing wedding of an old high school friend <3, and felt so inspired to think about weddings as community containers, cultivating a life of adventure, and new creative projects inspired by travel.

• I’ve been thinking that maybe it’s finally to get my first tattoo, from a tattoo artist downstairs. for the longest time, I was set on a jellyfish, but now I thinking about a snake, due to this experience.

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thank you so much for being here, and for reading.

I’m wishing you a dreamy end of november.

🪼 kening

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❄️ join the winter season of labyrinth library

🏔️ take a course adventure: house on the webs | creative systems | sharing space camp

🪷 advising with me: liminal leap, or intensive sessions

🍃 listen to my podcast: botanical studies of internet magic

🌔 visit otherworldly: a web alchemy studio

💧 send me a gift: water my world