hello there,
it’s spring and ramadan in Istanbul — which means holy month, and a daily bakery line at sunset for hot pide flatbread, straight from the oven. I don’t even love bread — but this I can eat plain, with just butter.
during this seasonal transition, I’ve felt like a vampire, over-exposed to light. I sleep in later and work till midnight, retreating to the comfort of darkness. I’m feeling both restless and private. I took Luna to the park yesterday, and found petals on her paws.
since I wrote you last, I hosted friends in a snowy Istanbul, then spent two weeks falling into the gravity vortex of two projects —
(1) the first - a 10,837 word piece about a cafe dream/loss/betrayal I experienced last autumn.
(2) the second - a digital zine, created in two days, in which I deconstruct the traditional paradigm of “productivity.”
yesterday, I recorded a podcast episode unraveling this same topic. it seems that I’m gathering wood for the fire that is preparing myself to teach a new course about systems.
I find myself alternating between intense work sprints that feel like underwater diving — and then, the disorientation of returning to land, like arriving to an old home.
I’ve spent years resisting and fighting these strange impulses and dramatic oscillations, and instead, tried to fit myself into the neat boxes of “daily / weekly / monthly / quarterly plans” — which works by exerting willpower or discipline, until it triggers the resistance instinct in me (ie, “nobody can tell me what to do, not even me…!”) and all the grand plans go down the drain.
I’ve since understood that this is my life-long obsession — to walk the sharp edge between structure and flow, like tiptoeing along a shark’s fin.
🐦🔥 creative systems course, starts friday march 21st
I’m integrating and distilling this obsession into a new course I’m teaching this month, called creative systems.
it’s a 4 week guided inquiry & experimentation process for reinventing your systems — that is, your own supportive structure for creative work, made and molded to the shape of your creative body and personal rhythms.
🌿 LIVE COURSE DETAILS
dates — Friday March 21st - April 11th (4 weeks)
time — 11AM-1PM EST, on Zoom (presentations recorded)
you’ll also get: private 1:1 feedback from me, community group chat, forever access to the evolving course ecosystem
price — $360, payment plans available
format — I’m keeping it a small group only, with limited spots available. this first run will come with my active guidance and attention — then, I’ll likely be offering it as a self-paced experience.
🌸 guiding questions include —
how do we build regenerative systems for work that adapt to a changing self, and which honor spontaneity, individuality, and non-linearity?
how do we use systems to move us forward, without feeling suffocated by the pressure to be consistent and perfect?
💮 a zine: deconstructing the productivity machine
I made this zine on a totally spontaneous urge, and ended up with a poetic, playful conversation with myself around what a system is, why productivity systems don’t work, and how to reimagine systems instead.
I also explore: the difference between a recipe vs. a system, and reorientation from “managing limited resources” to being in ongoing relationship with your resources.
creative systems zine: deconstructing the productivity machine — kening zhu
a zine on deprogramming from “productivity”
🖤 my cafe dream, loss, grief, and gifts
last autumn, I opened a cafe with my partner K and his two close friends in Istanbul. then, we lost (or left behind) everything.
I started writing this piece in January, thinking it would be a 1-2 day release. but instead, writing it felt like the slowest, most tedious thing I’ve ever done — like I had no other speed than “in painful, excruciating detail.” I would break out in hives after each writing session because my body still felt so angry. so I put it away.
then, two weeks ago, I sensed that it was time. I wrote most of it in a delirious, two day session. by the time I reached the last paragraph, I felt like my body was on fire. that week, my tarot card of the week was The Sun.
my cafe dream, loss, grief, and gifts — kening zhu
a 10,837 word story of betrayal — and how it transformed me
🎲 the board game of turkish bureaucracy
a visual diary about the week in which I renewed my turkish residency permit. I drew it as a board game, because it was really the opposite of fun.
the board game of turkish bureaucracy — kening zhu
an exercise in redundancy
🎴 five of pentacles: on self-exile and inner refuge
five of pentacles asked me to examine narratives around scarcity, and the ways in which I’ve exiled myself from my own belonging.
five of pentacles: on self-exile and inner refuge — kening zhu
letting go of scarcity narratives and finding inner safety
my business is a hammock I weave by hand
when I think about building systems molding to the shape of my body, I think about this post I wrote last year, in which I wrote that I wanted to build a business which allowed me to rest, and dream.
my business is a hammock I weave by hand — kening zhu
a place to rest & feel supported to dream
rituals vs. sprints: working with creative energy
on the oscillation of creative energy between ongoing work (rituals) and deep immersion work (sprints)
rituals vs. sprints: working with creative energy — kening zhu
tending to a garden vs. riding energy waves
istanbul as hills, holes, and cats
four years ago, while traveling and visiting Istanbul for a month, I sat down at a cafe, next to K, and drew this.
istanbul hills and holes — kening zhu
istanbul is a collection of hills and holes where you not entirely sure if you are the top of a hill or at the bottom of a hole if you want to live or if you want to die or both
🌱 what’s growing in my mind
working with the elements - recently I’ve been using the 4 elements (earth/air/water/fire) to organize the different aspects of my creative and business work. this has been life-changing, to say the least, and I can’t believe I didn’t do it sooner. I’m planning to record a podcast episode about it, and definitely teach it in the creative systems course.
7 min micro-practices - while I deeply long for luxurious, uninterrupted sessions to write or draw, this usually means I keep delaying personal creative work for when I have more spaciousness… which rarely comes on its own. to break this pattern, I decided to set a timer for 7-8 minutes, which is basically how long it takes to boil an egg. it’s a number that meets little-to-no resistance in my mind, and yet lets me thread in and out of my artistic work with a tiny needle.
the zine as form - I’m rather unexperienced with zines, but since making one last week I found myself asking existential questions about it. what makes it a zine — vs. an experimental visual book, or a short magazine? there is definitely something far more playful and liberatory about it. is it an amount of time? the lack of pressure, or editing, or fuss? I enjoyed this thuban press guide to analog self-publishing by Julia Gfrörer.
🌻 what’s inspired me lately
watched / was totally floored by - arcane (tv series 2021-2024). I don’t play league of legends nor do I especially love anime or animated shows or even the fantasy genre, but arcane was one of the most artfully crafted worlds I’ve ever watched, and inspired me to take my world-building practice to a literal level of developing, creating, and animating, one day, a fictional fantasy world of my own.
currently reading - the likeness by tana french so far, visceral, embodied writing in a compelling story.
listening to - the siren’s call by chris hayes a big brain book narrated in a broadcaster voice, but enjoyable so far.
currently reading - how to do nothing by jenny odell also a book about the attention economy, but very different. more notes coming on this.
🌳 an ongoing snapshot of my systems
last year, my most impactful tool was inventing this creative immersion deck (which I need to write an updated post about).
this year, it’s getting this corkboard, which has allowed me to interact with my systems and structures in an embodied way. as much as I love Google Sheets and Notion, there is something powerful about having physical anchors to ground my energy.
I’ll be sharing parts of my analog systems in my creative systems course, and guiding you to experiment with constructing your own digital/physical/psychological ways of relating to your resources — time, energy, attention.
this is my first live course in many years! it’s definitely taking some effort to emerge from my vampire/hermit cave, but I’m excited about it.
I’m expecting it to be fun, creative, embodied, and very process-nerdy — a soothing balm, an antidote, and an energizing tonic for recovering perfectionists and moody artists alike (I was/am definitely still — both).
last friday we went to the islands with Luna, and sat on these rocks, in the sun. K took this picture of us.
I hope that your spring is gentle and warm.
PS. do you like the new illustrated headers? i am experimenting with the “digital public letter” as form.
🍃 listen to my podcast: botanical studies of internet magic
🏔️ explore my courses: house on the webs | creative systems
🪷 inquire about advising sessions
🌔 visit otherworldly, a web alchemy studio
💧 send me a gift: water my world