🗺️ 38 | obscurus, interview, at home
dear creative friends,
these recent years, my experience of spring has felt like being involuntarily woken up from a delicious nap (aka, winter). I'm groggy, sluggish, and mildly irritated at being interrupted and pressured (by the beautiful weather, no less) to spend time outside.
this is more a signal of how gentle Istanbul winters are, like the foggy embrace of a lover. summers are violent. autumns are moody. spring is...(okay, beautiful)... but the energy of the outside world is like having the volume suddenly turned up 10x, relative to last week... and it takes me half a season to adjust.
~
🍋 this week: I'm featured in a creative SPACIES interview, I talk about finding belonging to myself as an artist, explore the idea of the obscurus as a wounded artist child, and start re-working on my about page - circa 2024.
✨ a creative interview feature on SPACIES
SPACIES is a jewel mine of divergent, creative strategies for non-linear thinkers. These interview questions were a deep excavation and distillation of my creative process -- and so enlightening to take an eyeball out and examine how I work.
I'm really into their 16 creative archetypes series (definitely take the quiz!!) and had my mind blown by this mental vs. spatial post. The luminous creator, Michelle Pellizzon, is also the creator of Holisticism and The Twelve House podcast.
DIGITAL WORLD-BUILDING WITH ARTIST KENING ZHU
The writer and visual artist schools us on the four "stuck project" categories, and reveals their alchemical art practice basics☁️
💎 at home in the world as my artist self
at home in the world as my artist self — kening zhu
returning to the world with treasures
Listen on Spotify
Listen on Apple Podcasts
this is my last chapter of sharing my wayfinding journey (for now) — in which I share how I stopped traveling, decided to make a home in Istanbul, and slowly learned to show up as my artist self — in relationship, and in the world.
this episode is about integration, metamorphosis, and the act of returning to the world — and allowing myself to be seen.
🌪️ the obscurus as a wounded artist child
how our capitalist culture formed your obscurus -- through messages of dismissing, devaluing, shaming magic (aka, creative energy). once I started writing about this, I can't stop seeing the parallels.
the obscurus as a wounded artist child — kening zhu
facing your repressed creative energy
🦋 my about page (in progress)
as I'm slowly pruning and renovating my website-garden, page by page, I decided to look at my about page (probably the page I was avoiding the most) -- because it's such a time capsule of who I was in 2021/2022. and looking at a past selves is... confronting, to say the least?
what I have now is an ongoing placeholder -- until I find clarity on how best to approach this existential / creative exercise. it was low on my priority list, but the feeling of people clicking to look at the vestiges of an outdated self made me feel itchy.
what I got most out of this -- IS the act of collecting old selves pages: from 2022, 2021, 2020, 2017.
🎴 tarot work diary
on embracing the cycles of change with a sharp, discerning mind
tarot work diary no. 9 | ace of swords, wheel of fortune, ten of swords — kening zhu
embracing the cycles of change with a sharp, discerning mind
🕰️ time capsule: to & from my past self
5 years ago: poetry as prayer
in 2019, I did a daily watercolor project -- paired with my favorite poems -- and then read them outloud. my intention was to do 30 days. (I made it to Day 16). back then, as a recovering accomplishment junkie, I felt like I failed my goal. now I'm kinder to myself, and feeling proud of what I made.
4 years ago: consume less, create more
a note from my digital detox years
consume less, create more — kening zhu
to consume is to often objectify what is being consumed.
2 years ago: flower meditation no. 5, unnamed tulip at its peak
on the urge to draw flowers
flower meditation #5 | unnamed tulip at its peak — kening zhu
every spring i am seized with the urge to draw flowers. it feels like the most distilled sort of visual meditation
📝 notes (what's rolling around my head)
home travel anxieties: part of my resistance to spring is that in 2 weeks, I'll be on a flight to my hometown in China, which I haven't visited in over 5 years -- to spend time with my grandmother, relatives, and mother. going to China is always full of emotional minefields -- challenging and triggering. it's very far from my life now. and yet way too close. I'm thinking about people who prepare to go to outer space, or submarine trips. what do they do to emotionally prepare?
the phallic energy of "launching": I've always disliked the word "launching" -- and I realized today it's because it sounds so phallic, and masculine, and exhausting. why do we need to burn fuel and consume massive amounts of energy to launch pointy things into space? (figuratively, I mean). in my ongoing journey of rethinking "sales" from a hermit artist / projector model, I'm searching for a replacement word.... something that is the inverse of "launch," like opening a cave-womb-labyrinth, and receiving, and drawing things in -- with magnetic force-field energy.
🍄 inspiration log
listened to: This is Your Brain on Deep Reading with Ezra Klein & Maryanne Wolf a beautiful conversation highlighting an intuitive knowing: that reading is about more what we read, but the process of reading -- the psyche slipping into a sacred space.
listening to: Sacred Economics by Charles Eisenstein. really was struck by the first chapters, but currently slightly stuck halfway...
reading: The Serviceberry: An Economy of Abundance by Robin Wall Kimmerer this was such a beautiful essay.
listening to: Launch without Social Media: Listener Hot Seat my dear friend Amelia is on point and sharp with her launch advice, as always. this was so inspiring to listen to -- even in forming my own anti-launch / not-launch strategy.
listened to: Slow Productivity by Cal Newport -- a few notes forthcoming. thanks to Mei Ling for the recommendation!
💌 ask me / tell me anything
write me a reply, or send me a note via this:
🌸 goodbye with a question:
as I'm slowly gathering myself to leave Istanbul, I'm asking if I can reframe movement as opening a new portal. in my hermit-ritual season, what if I can embrace disruption as an enrichenment, rather than a distraction?
how can a life in motion be an opportunity for deepening the creative practice?
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thank you for reading.
🪼 kening
🗺️ this is guide.notes 38, a weekly letter on creative alchemy + world-building.
🍃 find me on my podcast: botanical studies of internet magic.
🪷 explore working with me via my 1:1 containers: advising, mentorships, and creation services.