dear friends of the void,
in recent days, I've been thinking about nervous system regulation as it relates to working for yourself -- and how the feeling of never-quite-doing-enough is rooted in a survival response.
here in the wild, a subliminal part of my brain still thinks that it can't take a break (or a few days off)... or it'll starve to death. or the monsters will come out and eat it. I'm asking myself what the opposite would feel like, and I have a hunch that the answer will open a trapdoor to a new level.
~
🍓 this week: I articulated a core philosophy: make art in the void, shared my hermit-traveler years of the creative journey, drew 3 ways of visualizing energy, and reimagined "selling," through my new work with me / services page.
💡 a manifesto: make art in the void
why? because art itself is worth making, even if no one cares, or ever sees it. in the years of living this philosophy, it's given me more power and freedom than anything else.
make art in the void — kening zhu
share your work like no one cares.
🎙️ the wandering way of an artist hermit
chapter 4 of my wayfinding journey, or the story of how I made the leap into the void: leaving NYC, slow traveling the world during a pandemic, and the treasures I found within my artist-hermit self. I explore:
living without plans, pressure, or expectations
a digital detox to cleanse my psyche
devotion to creation as inhaling/exhaling life
the emergence of my website philosophy
Listen on Spotify
Listen on Apple Podcasts
the wandering way of an artist hermit — kening zhu
living in the leaps and voids; the journey of finding my inexhaustible fuel for making art
🪷 reimagining my services page
I finished animating and writing my work with me page last weekend. I wrote about the process, and how I'm starting to radically reimagine the practice of "selling."
reimagining my services page — kening zhu
it’s not about selling, but crafting a handmade invitation
🪷 3 visualizations to measure your energy
I experience wild fluctuations in available energy each day, so I drew 3 visual models to sense into my energy - kinda like checking the weather.
3 visualizations to measure your energy — kening zhu
why measure energy, and 3 models to experiment with
🎴 tarot work diary | my scorpio-aries archetypes
my pull for last week: on feminine shadow work, channeling masculine fire, and material gardening.
tarot work diary no. 7 | queen of cups, seven of pentacles, knight of wands — kening zhu
using psychic diving + containment to channel fire energy into material fruition
🕰️ time capsule: to & from my past self
3 years ago: the artist soul is a tree
on the architecture of trees as a metaphor for the life and creations of an artist
the artist soul is a tree — kening zhu
lately I’ve been under the spell of trees. I can spend hours bathed in trees, photographing trees, bearing witness to trees. the photos below are from an almost-spring week in berlin, and a sun-filled day in a forest nearby. I’ve been thinking about the form and vessel of trees — the architecture
4 years ago: no plans in the creative wild
my no-planning philosophy that I described in wandering way of the artist-hermit
no plans in the creative wild — kening zhu
on trusting in process and embracing the pathless journey of the creative life
8 years ago: aim for iteration, not perfection
I barely recognize myself here. but, I still think about this as a mantra for working.
Aim for iteration, not perfection — kening zhu
When it comes to undertaking any daunting task — building a business from scratch, creating a piece of creative work, or aiming for some other ambitious goal - it’s too easy to get bogged down in the details. As a long-suffering perfectionist with a submerged urge to prove myself to the world, I ten
📝 notes (what's rolling around my head)
the artist's way of selling: I spent most of last year distilling my process for sharing my work (aka, introvert marketing), and this year, I can feel that I'm focused on reimagining the art of the "sale" - starting with rewiring my associations with that word. I'm thinking about selling as offering, and offerings as hand-crafted invitations into a labyrinth of deeper relationship.
the unconditional enough: the antidote to "never-enough" and working from survival mode (as I mentioned in the beginning of this letter) is to enter a feeling of "unconditional enough." this is a deliberate practice. I'm working on this - and finding how it's paradoxically in congrunence with my great and wild ambition -- the contemplation of duality.
everyday, I open portals: in my explorations in playing with time blocks (last week's notes), I'm sensing into how deep flow in a project is about opening and entering a portal. time is a window you stick your head in. and the creative work -- if done with absolute focus -- transports you to another dimension. I've been drawing my portals on tiny pieces of paper, and collecting them over the course of a day, like acorns.
🍄 inspiration log
listening to: MUBI podcast, starting with this episode on Chungking Express. savoring this cinematic-cultural tour.
reading: avengers assemble: critical perspectives on the marvel cinematic universe by terence mcsweeney I'm (surprisingly) enjoying all of the films with my partner. I found this in my search for companion reading.
seriously meditating on: my Gene Keys, again. I bought the activation course months ago and have been meandering through it slowly.
watching: WandaVision, only on episode 4 but it feels surprisingly culturally critical, poignant, and absolutely gripping.
💌 ask me / tell me anything
write me a reply, or send me a note via this minimalist form.
🌸 goodbye with a question:
how would you work differently from the feeling-place of "unconditional enough"?
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thank you for reading. wishing you gentle days ahead.
🪼kening
🌿 PS. seeds, urges, random thoughts
I'm having a very low energy week, so nothing is floating around my head except the guilt of unfinished client work, and unanswered emails.😨
but I did make this list of web garden tending work. I also started reimagining a donations page. it's 50% done, but you can peek the progress, with no text or buttons working.
🪷 this is guide.notes 37, a weekly letter on nourishing an embodied creative life in psychic, digital, and material worlds.