๐บ๏ธ 34 | leaps of faith + job security
dear adventurer friends,
I would've never embarked on this road, years ago, if I believed in "job security" as a concept. I'm more of a compulsive jumper, always throwing myself off cliffs (or towers), and hoping I'll land in water.
at the same time, I'm thinking about how safety, security, and stability is a human need -- and no matter how risk-tolerant we are, we all seek ways to feel... grounded in the work, supported by the work, and the systems we create for ourselves, in order to keep working.
and art, too, is work -- even if our culture doesn't think so.
this week: time traveling to my 18, 22 year old self while unpacking my origin story 1.0, a series of vision journaling questions, and very vintage Kening guides & notes, from the time capsule.
~~~
๐๏ธ episode 2: throwing away the iron rice bowl
on culturally conditioned blueprints, marathons I dropped out of, and an SOS, nuclear alarm of panic -- somehow permanently installed in my head-software.
Listen on Spotify
Listen on Apple Podcasts
throwing away the iron rice bowl โ kening zhu
an episode about my inherited cultural blueprints, and beginning the journey
before expanding on my visions for Art and the Internet, I felt that I needed to give personal context (all the blood, sweat, and tears) that brought me to my current philosophies -- as if to give them a body. as if to say: I believe this, because I lived this.
I started writing it out (because spontaneously talking about it would totally overwhelm me), and the more I wrote, the hairier it got... until I had spent 20 hours writing over 8000 words.
so I'm breaking the story into parts. phases of the journey.... like telling you about my 9 lives, and how I died each time.
this episode is only Chapter 1 -- a story about something I don't really enjoy talking about: growing up as a Chinese-American child immigrant, in America. hell, I forget that I'm Chinese all the time. probably because all of my life choices were me swimming upstream, against the values of my culture.
you can read it as an essay, or listen to it via podcast.
๐๏ธ guides: on vision
a continuation of my explorations on what it means to have a vision. more on this topic, soon.
7 journaling questions to distill your vision
all questions I ask myself. I fully believe that journaling is the key to unlocking many secret doors.
7 questions to distill your vision โ kening zhu
7 questions like tonics to distill down your vision to its core
your vision is born from discontent and desire
I sent this in my last artist digest - but I'm sharing it again, because, as I think about my own new visions -- it feels like a crucial reminder.
your vision is born from discontent & desire โ kening zhu
how to form your vision using the polarity of what attracts and repels you
๐ public diaries
tarot work diary no. 4
on creative materialization, liminal practices, and taking a stand for my values.
tarot work diary no. 4: the hierophant, four of swords, ace of pentacles โ kening zhu
an invitation into embodied materialization, liminal practices, and taking a stand for my values.
๐ฐ๏ธ guides to & from my past self
4 years ago: self care for accomplishment junkies
on diagnosing my addiction to feeling accomplished, even as I was walking the "artist's way"
self-care for accomplishment junkies โ kening zhu
ways of combating the feeling of โnot enoughโ when youโre addicted to sweet taste of accomplishment
9 years ago: everything I know about starting a morning routine
I wrote this in 2015, while working my 9-5 day job. as you'll see, I was an obsessive, neurotic, repressed creative, back then -- a recent college grad dreaming of becoming a writer. it was the very first journal post on my website. I still have a morning routine - just in a more intuitive way.
how to build a morning routine โ kening zhu
on how drastically my life changed (in 2015) after starting a morning routine โ and a detailed process on building your own.
art from my time capsule
2 years ago: the sound of a nuclear alarm in my brain
I can't believe... that I actually drew a visual of the SOS nuclear alarm bells that I mentioned in this week's podcast episode.
the sound of a nuclear alarm in my brain โ kening zhu
only one person can get under my skin like thisย
3 years ago: pottery for winter beauty
I was living in Berlin, in a house with a pottery wheel. I feel about that the same way I feel about living in a house with a piano. or a garden. extremely lucky.
pottery for winter beauty โ kening zhu
I made these vessels to hold the beauty of winter
๐ notes on process: what's rolling around my head
- 1 | using haptic alarms: I tend to fall into time wormholes (like, 3 hours goes by and I only wrote 3 paragraphs) so I started using my fitbit to give me a haptic alarm. I set an alarm for 12, or 25, or 55 minutes -- and then I get a bzzzzz on my wrist. somehow, this kind of silent, physical notification feels just the right balance between intrusive + un-ignorable. I also set alarms for 3 or 5 or 10 minutes for things I'm really putting off doing (like emails, or vacuuming, or holding a plank (uh, 3 minutes only)).
- 2 | one thing a day: I also have a habit of playing schedule tetris with my 100 things and projects -- client work, art-work, guide-work -- and end up burning myself out with all the juggling. the idea of dedicating 7-9 hours a day on ONE thing feels so old, and yet so radical. I'll try that next week.
- 3 | rapid flow micro-sprint: this week, I gave myself a 90 minute window to do what I'm calling "rapid flow" on 6-8 different projects (at varying phases of being born) -- in which I sketched ideas and wrote notes and insights, while using haptic 12 minute alarms. this is like the opposite of losing myself in 24 hour time wormholes. it doesn't allow you to be stuck.
๐ inspiration log
- reading: on mental spaciousness vs. spatial synesthesia -- this concept totally blew my mind, and I'll be writing about my experiences with it next week. (I'm an extreme, compulsive spatial processor).
- the dreaminess of this song: leap of faith by slumberville - makes me feel like I'm floating.
- this playlist: kฤฑล depresyonu -- melancholic turkish songs for winter depression (but I listen to music like this year round).
- tonight: I'm going to a concert by this Turkish artist, Cem Adrian, which I'm super excited about.
- this zine: the thuban guide to analog self-publishing -- stumbled upon this zine on Pinterest and felt inspired to make zines.
- this quote: on the back cover of the zine.
๐ ask me / tell me anything
write me a reply, or send me a note via this minimalist form.
โ open question (for you & me)
which things give you a sense of security or safety in your work?
where does your self-constructed definition of "job security" come from?
where does that security live inside of you?
how can you create more security or safety, as an inner practice?
โค๏ธ until next week,
thank you for reading.
kening
๐ฑ PS. idea-seeds & urges
- craving to make these dumplings from scratch
- maybe I'll make a hand-illustrated, printable zine about world-building
- I really miss making animations at night, while listening to music. I think I'll need to tend to this part of my practice, or feel forever itchy.
- planning to reopen / rebirth: house on the webs, and an ongoing creative community: microgardens.
๐ชท this is guide.notes 34, a weekly letter on nourishing an embodied creative life in psychic, digital, and material worlds.