I.

I used to chase my inner child

and they’d evade me, quick as a hare.

frightened as one, too.

I just wanted some of their joy, their

unwavering belief in the magical, the surety

that they felt that if they were patient enough, a

merry band of heroes would come knocking to

ask them on an adventure. grown up me needs

that confidence, sometimes.

II.

all this stemmed from my contemplating why I love trinkets. little blind bags. like for a moment I am seven and under the Christmas tree and the joy is immense and the suspense almost physically painful. I chase that feeling, micro dose it with mystery bags and gacha machines.

III.

looks like something dragged itself out of the river

a dog?

or something else?

IV.

I died and my heart was shaking so so hard that it wasn’t even my fault

V.

- do you want to see?

- no

- then I will not show you. anything that I have parsed you do not want to see in me, I do not show you.