I’m on Substack now!
Please join me. It’s way better for everyone over there! NinelivesbyKPB.substack.com It’s $6 a month but if you can’t afford it, send me a DM on Instagram...
Half Mast
Dear Dad, I haven’t seen you since Tuesday, April 23, 2024. I think I saw you Tuesday but I can’t remember for sure. We were supposed to be at NIH Monday the...
The Eulogy I Wrote for Dad
I gave this eulogy at my dad’s funeral today. Last night the wake filled Ocean Township with cars and people waiting to come and visit with my dad. Some...
Gerard Bergin. 3/27/57-4/24/24
Hi guys. Most of you have heard but my dad died extremely unexpectedly last week. I wanted to share the obituary I wrote for him, as well as the eulogy I...
Brunch
Editor's Note: I had this published when I was 26. Lately I have been thinking about it because the thought of a life without children feels suffocating. I...
November 2007
March 24, 2024 I wrote the following when I was 21 years old-- before I was diagnosed with diabetes, before they found the genetic mutation that was the key...
An Honest Update
It’s March 13. It is sixty degrees and the lionly weather has turned gentle and warm, like a lamb licking your face. It is March and I’m okay. Today marks 8...
How I Lost One Of My 9 Lives
8 years ago, I was sick for weeks with a cough and a cold. But something else was wrong, too: maybe it was just a feeling something was wrong. I took myself...
The Last Six Months: An Update, A Story, A Truth
Hello, all. Yes, I am back. So before you hit unsubscribe for lack of updates, I bought a new laptop and fired it up. Today is December 14, 2023, and I am...
Home ❤️
Yesterday afternoon, we packed up a hospital room no longer desperately needed. I put away pajamas built like hospital gowns, comfy, clothes, and...
An Excerpt
Transplant is approaching and I’ve been working on what I hope will turn into a memoir. It’s been helpful to write without expectation of anything, to...
The Orange Bike, Sadie & Me
Today I did something that I’m proud of: I got back on the bike. (As disgraced cyclist Lanc Armstrong might say, 😜) I’ve been watching Sadie and my mom take...
Feels like Praying
We talked about moving to the Pacific Northwest after he told me he could see at least three dozen spots of skin cancer on my body. I was nauseous with the...
The Dress Rehearsal
Nine days ago, my gastroparesis caused a vomiting episode that lasted for four days. It felt like a meat grinder had materialized in my gut, turning...
Stronger
hi, I’m still alive. Life has been hard lately. Testing for transplant has ramped up. I’ve met my new BMT doctor, an ID doc, the new pain fellow…on the 17th,...
A New Tattoo
🐧🐧🐧 In the midst of the worst depression of my life, a tweet popped up as I doomscrolled on by. It was December of 2020; we were still at the beginning of a...
Stay Here
TW: Suicide There have been so many times I have wished for a different life. There have been roller coasters or nights I did not share, because the darkness...
A Quick Note on Joy
People get so freaked out when they have the flu, or allergies or anything that makes them slightly uncomfortable for more than one solitary second. They...
October 25. 10pm. Thoughts.
I’ve never felt so vulnerable. So exposed, and in so much pain. Having a date for transplant has shaken me. I worry the days are blurring together—I KNOW the...
Summer, Summer, Where Did You Go?
9/7/22 It’s 1am and I’m lying in bed, tears soaking my cheeks, my dog licking them clear off of me. I’ve just tried taking my pills with a soda and the plan...