My Short Hiatus
Before I get to the hiatus: Commissions! I closed them in February, and I’m almost ready to reopen. There will be very limited slots until I’m sure I can handle them all without burning out, so: after EmblemCon this weekend, I’m planning on opening a few slots! When exactly will depend on how long the comms this weekend take me, but I’ll try to open my form in the first week of May. As always they are not first-come first-serve, so they stay open until I fill up my slots, and I may prioritize sketches and work I can do quickly over illustration for now. I’ll announce that they’re open on bsky if they don’t fill up in a week or so from when I open them, sometime mid-May.
And of course, I will be in Commissions Corridor at EmblemCon this weekend. I’ll be chatting, hanging out in panels, taking a few special discounted Fire Emblem comms, and streaming working on them, if my internet cooperates!
Okay, onto my hiatus recap! I noticed myself getting really down about engagement on the sketchbook I made at the end of last year and decided that meant I should take a break from socials for a bit to recalibrate. In hindsight, I think 95% of the issue that day was a meltdown from overstimulation because I did WAY too much the day before, but a social media cleanse is never a bad thing, and in the end I’m glad I did it for that other 5%. The sketchbook numbers had been bugging me for a while, and my meltdown just pushed it to the surface, I think.
Doing art and posting it on the internet is always such a delicate balance to maintain, because on the one hand, there is no such thing as art made in a vacuum. Everything I do is influenced by what I see and hear and am inspired by, whether it’s nature or a movie or a cool rock or what-have-you. There’s no escaping that part of art (especially when it’s fanart!) and cutting myself off from the inspiration I can find on social media isn’t always a good thing. But I also have to do art for myself, because if I’m always doing client work or art for other people or art that I think will do well, that’s how I get burnt out. I gotta take time to regenerate with some really self-indulgent stuff in between.
I’ve found myself pretty much constantly dancing around the edge of burnout this year, and I do think some of that was because of how poorly my sketchbook did. I put a lot of work into it, and only a handful of people ever saw it. That was a huge bummer. But the people who DID see it loved it, and they’re a huge reason I do art. For the people that respond to it, who get something out of it. Taking the hiatus has been a great way to shift my focus, to force myself to not care about numbers because I’m not posting anything at all, I’m only showing stuff to my friends, and I’m only drawing stuff that interests me, and there’s no pressure to rush and finish it or post it and get the engagement. Taking that break has been incredibly frustrating and I’ve missed posting stuff and seeing my audience’s responses, but I also think it was needed. I will probably continue to be a little more absent on my socials, do more personal work that I don’t post right away, and spend more time chilling with friends, so I don’t forget why I make things and to try and rewire my brain to pay attention to engagement less.
I also got in the habit of being super impatient with my art over the past few years, and this break has allowed me to take time to polish the comic I’ve been working on a bit more, and I’m getting some really nice results. Remembering to slow down and put that extra effort in now and then is something I’ve been missing, so I’m gonna try to do that more, too.
I’m posting my little 10 page comic on bsky this week, so look forward to that!! I’m really excited to finally share the whole thing in all its horny glory :)
That’s all! I hope everyone is having a lovely April. I redid my portfolio website last month, moving it to neocities. I’m really happy with it and it’s a huge relief to have one I can back up and maintain full control over. And I’d love to hear about anyone else’s experience with taking a break from social media, or how you balance doing art for yourself vs needing to do your own marketing and PR! And by art I mean ANY art, not just drawing. I’d love to have some discussion about it on bsky and get more peoples’ thoughts!
Keep making weird and self-indulgent art, everyone. It’s critical for our well-being 🖤
Kaz