The crossing ceremony
Those of us who had never crossed the antarctic circle before (polliwogs) were summoned.
“The King, Queen, and court will ascend to receive evidence that WOGS have completed the required tasks, to be entertained through song and dance, and to issue charges to the treacherous wogs who dare enter the realm of the Southern Sea without permission or cleansing.
All wogs must dress in their wog uniform, starting at 1100 (The King is generously delaying this requirement until after breakfast because word has it you will be releasing some imprisoned plankton in the morning). This uniform includes: all clothing worn backwards and inside out with socks on hands. Wogs MUST arrive to court at 1300 with FRESHLY BRUSHED teeth (Neptune is sick of your horrid breath), no telephones or digital devices, their neck gaiter/buff from their ECW, and any props required to bring merriment and mirth before the Court.
Prepare yourselves and may Neptune be feeling merciful.
Neptune’s Faithful SERVANT,
Davey Jones”
There were three singers, two guitar players, one drummer and me on the maracas. The maracas were made with some lab funnels, tape and googly eyes and paper clips. There were three dancers doing a routine based on “How deep is your pump”, modified from How deep is your love. It was spectacularly entertaining, I’m sure. As I’ve mentioned, this science group goes above and beyond in the creative realm. They presented evidence of all the required tasks. They gave the court copies of our favorite recipes cookbook. We were then confronted with our individual charges related to our invasion of the southern ocean. My crimes were that I loved sastrugi more than I loved ocean waves, and that I was too helpful to the people who were plundering the seas of diatoms. I tried to bribe them into forgiveness but they belittled me for that effort.
We were then sent to one of the labs and told we had to create a craft offering for the court. Our only craft supplies are office supplies, and as an uncrafty person this was a terrible task for me. The others jumped right in, folding, cutting, gluing, drawing. We were taken blindfolded one by one to another lab where someone drew tattoos on our arms. Someone else smeared our faces with ketchup/mayo/mustard. We were escorted down the hall to where the king and queen were waiting for more groveling and requests for mercy. Also more food substances on my face. I was forgiven and handed a certificate and then..
It was great fun. Even though I thought we would get dunked, and we were in a room that drains to the outside, I was still surprised. Some of the boat crew were in charge of the water. They are all Filipinos and they generally keep to themselves and don’t socialize with the rest of us. Apparently they like the dumping and they are happy to participate in these ceremonies. I went upstairs to watch some of the others get dumped and the guys were all laughing at me, one kind of apologized.
