Big Talk Newsletter: 10 tips for skipping the small talk
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Every September, I settle down from summer’s activities to reflect and connect. Ten years ago in September, I started Big Talk with this video:
After ten years, here is what I have learned about how to skip small talk and make Big Talk:
10 tips for skipping small talk
1. Be friendly and approachable. Maintain open body language, go to public places where people are relaxed (such as a park, beach, or community event), slow down, and don’t look down at your technology devices. Look up at people and smile. :)
2. Make eye contact and ask someone’s name. Repeat it back to them, as people love to hear the sound of their own name!
3. Ask open-ended questions. Instead of yes/no questions, ask questions such as:
“What’s something you’re excited about right now?”
“What are you curious about lately?”
“What has been on your mind since we last saw each other?”
4. Show curiosity. Explore new ideas and environments. Ask questions based on your genuine curiosities.
5. Be an active listener. Ask follow-up questions.
6. Share personal experiences. By sharing personal thoughts and feelings, people will feel more comfortable opening up.
7. Ask about struggles. Inquire about what’s been challenging or rewarding for someone recently. People reveal deeper thoughts and emotions when they reflect on struggles and achievements.
“What have you been struggling with lately?”
“What is a difficult choice you’re glad you made?”
“What is a recent accomplishment you are proud of?”
8. Discuss values. Delve into what matters to someone by asking,
“What’s most important to you?”
“How do you define success?”
9. Share passions and goals. Ask someone about their passions, long-term goals, and dreams.
“What are your passions?”
“What are your goals at this stage in your life?”
“What do you want to do before you die?”
10. Follow-up. If you befriend someone and they invite you for a follow-up conversation, meeting, or hang out, take them up on their offer.
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For more ways to make Big Talk, check out the Big Talk Question Card Game and Big Talk Questions App. They make for a great gift for back-to-school / work, community leaders, friends who love deep conversations, housewarming gifts, or for people moving to a new city!
Thank you for Reading!
As always, please reply to this email with ideas, questions, suggestions, or to say hello. Cheers! - Kalina
Big Talk: Skip the small talk, make more meaningful connections.
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