tyn(J)

i'm thankful i had pie for breakfast today. i'm thankful that last night when i got home at 10:30 last night i decided it was too late for pie and compromised by packing a slice for breakfast. i'm thankful that strawberry apple pie, which i found by necessity after discovering rhubarb was out of season, has officially replaced regular apple pie as my new favorite. i'm thankful that the sweetness of the strawberries perfectly balanced the tart apples. i'm thankful i mostly ignored the recipe and dumped in whatever ingredients i wanted, which is how i usually make pies. i'm thankful it was delicious at the party on saturday and that a few people said so, and that it was equally delicious today. i'm thankful there is still some left, though i am wondering at what point i should throw it out...?

i'm thankful for the invitation from my best friend's aunt to go to a hockey game with her tonight. i am thankful that she continues to invite me to things even though normally i can't make it but i am thankful that tonight i can! i am thankful to have such a close relationship with someone so removed from me, which sounds weird when i explain it to others, but feels perfectly natural in practice. i'm thankful that, when i texted my sister to ask if it was ok if i skipped dinner tonight, that she said ""of course"" and thanked me for checking in with her. i'm thankful to have known she was going to say yes but feel good about asking anyway. i'm thankful to have an excellent home life with four people, but am also thankful that when my parents go south for the winter, my sister and i slip seamlessly into a two-person routine that is both successful and considerate. 

i'm thankful i debated for a full twenty minutes about submitting this thank you note, after struggling about switching from a spectator of this letter that i really enjoy to potentially becoming a part of it that others will spectate(?). i'm thankful to have decided i was going to write mostly about pie, which isn't all that exciting or invasive so i think it's ok. (i'm thankful to worry it might sound *too* boring.) i'm thankful to have begun typing other things i was thankful for but erased them because they felt both too personal and also disingenuous. i'm thankful to recognize that wanting recognition doesn't feel like a good or true enough reason for me to seek it. i'm thankful to admit to myself when i'm trying too hard and, hopefully, to stop.

i'm thankful to actually be pretty excited by pie.

- J