thank you notes (madeleine)

i’m thankful for acropolis cups. those ones with the fake (almost offensive?) greek lettering that says WE ARE HAPPY TO SERVE YOU. i’m thankful that they make me feel like i belong here. i’m thankful that not every coffee cart has them, so if you’re really committed you have to remember which ones to go to. i’m thankful for the cab drivers who gather to pray at the gas station near my office every night right as the sun is going down. i’m thankful that i’ve sort of unconsciously begun to leave work at the perfect time to pass by them on my way to the train. i’m thankful that i get to observe them because when i was in morocco they didn’t let women into mosques, so it was a little bit of a mysterious process. i’m thankful that the sun is going down later and later, finally, and that soon it’ll be light enough for me to want to run after work even though i probably still won’t want to. 

i’m thankful that most people on the subway these days spent the whole ride looking at their phones, even though that is potentially a bad sign for humanity, because it means i can look at everyone without them noticing. i’m thankful for the girl i’ve seen twice on my commute who keeps her tiny dog in a tiny bag and lets it lick her all over the face. i’m thankful for the MTA’s twitter account, which is pretty fastidiously managed to reflect train delays and service changes and i’m thankful that they are also fastidiously polite even when people tweet angrily about being late to work. 

i’m thankful for green tea kit kats, which i thought you could only find in japan (because my friend who was studying abroad there brought some back for me) but which i recently found in the bodega next to my office. i’m thankful that they are the only form of green tea i enjoy and that they taste kind of gritty and bizarre and are kind of a gross green color. i’m thankful for grapefruits, and the fact that they have such neat little sections like they want to make eating them easier on you so you’ll like them, which i do. i’m thankful that it is a social norm here to walk around by yourself eating a slice of pizza or a hotdog. no one cares that you’re by yourself or that you’re eating. i’m thankful for my recent discovery of salt bagels because i love salt, even though they make my mouth feel like sandpaper/concrete. i’m thankful for the way the bagel people nestle both your bagel and your coffee into a paper bag so it’s easier to carry. (even though my coffee spilled on my leggings, i was so happy about the paper bag with both the bagel and the coffee that it didn’t ruin my day.) 

i’m thankful for the children of new york city; spoiled, struggling, laughing, crying. i’m thankful for those two adorable little boys who wanted to play the game i was playing on my phone, but went along with it when i said they couldn’t hold my phone but they could tell me where to move the pieces. i’m thankful that i was able to give their young dad a break for even three stops, because he looked really tired and the boys were very energetic. i’m thankful for the older kids, still in their school uniforms, that i saw on the platform a while ago, who were sitting on a railing looking ecstatic to be right where they were. i’m thankful that these sights force me to consider my own deep longing for and fear of having my own children, because sometimes it’s good for my emotions to practice being on their toes. even though i don’t have a boyfriend and could very possibly become a dog lady (like a cat lady only with dogs). 

i’m thankful that i’ve had to clear my cache a lot lately at work and that it brings even a few extra seconds of real awareness to my use of the internet because i can’t remember any of my passwords. 

- madeleine (2/29/16).