thank you notes (kflo)

i'm thankful for magic, or wonder, or charm—whatever you'd like to call it. how everytime i look into people's eyes, i see it. i'm thankful for the time i told c about an obscure trait that i have, which is making up romantic scenes in my mind about someone i just met or like. i'm thankful that i remember this, and how i'll never forget when she said, "what the hell, me too!" afterwards. thankful for how i'm not alone, but also how i'm never not alone. that despite this oneness, togetherness, that we feel in "me, too!" moments, we are still singular and alone. i'm thankful to think i suck at this already.

i'm thankful for relationships, how we have a word for it. i'm thankful that i think i'm clever enough to realize that the word relationship both has the words 'relation' and 'ship' in it and how i'm amazed that we managed to pull all this off!! i'm thankful that i can wear my headphones out in public and pretend to be listening to music when the truth is that i just don't want to be talked to right now. i'm thankful to dub headphones as shields to social interactions. i'm thankful that i can have fun inside my own head as i pretend to lip sync a song i'm pretend-listening in a public place. how the people look at me weird and strange. i'm thankful that i'm crazy like this, and that i enjoy it. i'm thankful for the outfield song "your love" which is playing in this jeepney and which, for a good one hour, i thought the title was "i don't wanna lose your love," and for how i'm terrible like that. i'm thankful that i can casually ride a jeepney. i'm thankful to know this city, though not in every vein, but still. i'm thankful for jeepney routes, which provide order amidst chaotic public transit commuters. i'm thankful that this jeepney is the classic, airy, spacey one, and not the cramped, sweaty hot space that is oftentimes disguised as hell in the form of transit. 

i'm thankful that i'm typing the first draft (?) of this note in my ipod's notes app. i'm thankful that i'm in a jeepney, basking in this 04:10 pm afternoon light, which isn't altogether dull despite it not being too harsh. i'm thankful for the couple sitting across me. i'm thankful for couples who look out after one another in public. and for friends, too. and dogs.

kflo (3/14/16). kiandrogynous.tumblr.com