thank you notes 7/31

i'm thankful that my old laptop that i thought had died hadn't died yet. i'm thankful that i was able to get some things that i thought i had lost forever off of it, so that it's okay if it dies now or in the future. i'm thankful for one of those things, which is this old recording i made of my friends and i talking about our memories in the summer of my senior year of college. i'm thankful to remember that it was a sticky warm night and we were all sitting in my bedroom in the dark talking and smoking. i'm thankful to remember how i had put a blue lightbulb into my overhead light, so that we were bathed in soft blue light.

i'm thankful to remember my friend s, who was always such a joyful person. i'm thankful to remember watching who wants to be a millionaire with him and how happy he was to get an answer correct. i'm thankful to remember one day jogging over to his house junior year and how he complimented my calves. i'm thankful to remember that house, which was so disgusting, and thankful to remember that two girls from my italian class showed up at a party there one time and we talked about neutral milk hotel. i'm thankful to remember how often he would walk around in just his boxer shorts, for how he made comedy of his body but was also comfortable as who he was. i'm thankful to remember endless hazy hours playing halo, mario kart double dash, and mario party (the holy trinity of video games during my college years) with him. 

i'm thankful for s's girlfriend, c, who was a really lovely human being. i'm thankful that of all my friends' girlfriends, she and i had the most special connection. i'm thankful to remember watching endless hours of sex and the city with she and s in our living room. i'm thankful that she was several years younger than the rest of us, but seemed so much more mature—i'm thankful that she is one of the first people i can remember thinking was an "old soul." i'm thankful to remember how one time she made this off-hand comment about champagne and fireworks for my birthday and then how, weeks later, i came out of my room and found, waiting in the hallway, a bottle of moet and a pack of sparklers and a card from her wishing me the happiest birthday. 

i'm thankful for f, whose friendship with me was forged in the music we would improvise together. i'm thankful that at first he was a friend of s's and someone i didn't feel like i really had much in common with, but i'm thankful that one day i was lazily playing guitar while we hung out at the house and he started singing, making a song of my noodling. i'm thankful that he was impressed by my ability to come up with new chord progressions for him to sing over and to follow him through dynamic shifts and predict the contours of his melodies, and thankful that i was always amazed by something i thought was much more magical, which was his effortless ability to come up with lyrics out of thin air (or air clouded with nag champa and weed). 

i'm thankful, nine years later, to still have this recording and be able to listen to it. i'm thankful for how stupid and happy we all sound. i'm thankful that i mostly remember college as a time when i was stupid and happy.