thank you notes 7/24
i'm thankful to have paid the $2,433.27 bill for the diagnostic procedure i had for my stomach in the spring. i'm thankful that i put off the bill as i contested the insurance company not covering it, but thankful, since the letters from the hospital had gotten into the angry FINAL NOTICE kind of thing, to have paid the bill and to not have it hanging over my head anymore. i'm thankful that i have a healthy savings account and a steady job and that while this is a large amount of money, having paid it will not cause any issues for me in terms of solvency. i'm thankful for the strangeness of having to pay so much money for a test that didn't really tell me or my doctor anything useful—i'm thankful for a dark but funny joke a friend told me the other day about dealing with the crazy medical bills after her father's death and her feeling that "surely we shouldn't have to pay these because it didn't work."
i'm thankful to have received esmé's notes about the stress of her new job as i continue to deal with the stress of my new job. i'm thankful that on friday, after i said, for the hundredth time, "why did i take this job," something i had said with a sense of irony and humor at first but was relaying out of pure anguish on friday, d gently said "if you want to quit, that's okay" and i'm thankful to know she meant it. i'm thankful that i won't quit. i'm thankful that on friday afternoon, i eventually pushed through and figured out a solution to the work problem that was causing me such despair, and thankful that in solving it, i also realized how to solve another problem that had been sitting in my queue stumping me since the beginning of the week, meaning that by the end of the day, i had miraculously cleared out my problem queue. i'm thankful for esmé's beautiful metaphor about the ocean.
i'm thankful that d and i had a nice day yesterday even though it was far too hot. i'm thankful that we went to see the new star trek movie, even though it was not very good and even though we had to sit very close to the screen, which was bad ergonomically. i'm thankful that we stopped at the grocery store for snacks before and on a whim i bought a pint of blueberries, which were on sale and which are my new favorite snack to sneak into the movies (light but satisfying, healthy but indulgent, sweet but not sugary, no grease or crumbs or powdery residue). i'm thankful that even though the movie was not very good, it was worthwhile because for some reason i finally understood the appeal of slash fiction as i distracted myself from boredom while imagining the tender awkwardness of kirk and spock alone in a cabin discovering each other's bodies and a new way to love each other.
i'm thankful for two books about space that are much better experiences: 1) seveneves, which is one of my favorite emergency pleasure rereads of the past year and which, exhausted on friday night, i let myself slip into until i could slip into the darkness of sleep and 2) contact, which i started after seeing an excerpt that someone posted on social media recently and which is delightful. i'm thankful to remember seeing the movie contact in the theater with my parents and how after the movie, i pointed out that matthew mcconaughey's character had given jodie foster's character a crackerjack compass necklace and told her wryly that it might save her life some day and how later in the movie, when she's in the capsule traveling into space, she unbuckles herself from her seat to catch the necklace, which has floated away in zero gravity, and the seat is destroyed. i'm thankful that i pointed this very obvious thing out, "THE NECKLACE ACTUALLY SAVED HER LIFE," and thankful that my parents humored me and acted like it was a brilliant insight.
i'm thankful for two books about space that are much better experiences: 1) seveneves, which is one of my favorite emergency pleasure rereads of the past year and which, exhausted on friday night, i let myself slip into until i could slip into the darkness of sleep and 2) contact, which i started after seeing an excerpt that someone posted on social media recently and which is delightful. i'm thankful to remember seeing the movie contact in the theater with my parents and how after the movie, i pointed out that matthew mcconaughey's character had given jodie foster's character a crackerjack compass necklace and told her wryly that it might save her life some day and how later in the movie, when she's in the capsule traveling into space, she unbuckles herself from her seat to catch the necklace, which has floated away in zero gravity, and the seat is destroyed. i'm thankful that i pointed this very obvious thing out, "THE NECKLACE ACTUALLY SAVED HER LIFE," and thankful that my parents humored me and acted like it was a brilliant insight.
i'm thankful for the show the night of, which we watched the premiere of after dinner and which is excellent, thankful, even if the first episode continues to ratchet up tension in a way that is almost unbearable and, in its wake, left my nerves buzzing and throbbing, to watch more today. i'm thankful for the new avalanches album, wildflower, which is peak summer music (i'm thankful, if you didn't like the lead single "frankie sinatra," which i didn't much, that the rest of the album is much sunnier). i'm thankful for ample samples and thankful for biz markee. i'm thankful that when at the grocery story d couldn't decide whether she wanted fudge drumsticks or caramel drumsticks, i bought boxes of both. i'm thankful for air conditioning and cool baths and large novelty ice cubes.
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