thank you notes 6/24

i'm thankful that now, the third time, i have hopefully finally learned my lesson about pushing myself too hard with long bike rides. i'm thankful that, despite a detour because of road construction and some crazy hills, my ride to the nearby town (20ish miles) was pleasant. i'm thankful for how canopies of trees provide shade. i'm thankful for breezes, both natural ones and the ones that are created by going fast on a bike. i'm thankful for the times when i'm going down a hill so fast i can't hear anything besides the rush of the air. 

i'm thankful that when i got to the town, which is a small kitschy tourist community near a local state park, i ate a footlong hotdog, a pulled pork sandwich, and drank a lemon-orange "shake-up," which is, as far as i can tell, a mixture of lemon and orange juices with sugar syrup which is then shaken in a cup. i'm thankful for how refreshing the shake-up was. i'm thankful that the stand where i bought it also sold powerade, so i bought a bottle to refill my hydration backpack. 

i'm thankful for the hydration backpack, which worked really well until, as i started along the highway to get back, it started leaking, soaking my entire lower body and the back of my bike in red powerade. i'm thankful that i eventually realized i couldn't fix it and stopped and dumped out the rest of the contents on the side of the highway. i'm thankful for the man who stopped on the other side of the highway to ask me if i was okay and if i needed help. 

i'm thankful that as i biked along the highway, over beautiful rolling forested hills that were only slightly tarnished by the traffic aggressively passing me, i became thirstier and thirstier (it was 90 degrees). i'm thankful that sometimes i felt so tired i had to stop the bike, but that when i stopped the bike, i lost the feeling of breeze and was suddenly struck by the immensity of the heat. i'm thankful for the desperate moment when i held my hydration pack over my head in order to get the sip of hot powerade that was left in there. 

i'm thankful for how much willpower it took me to keep going through the country to get back to town and thankful that i had the strength to push through the discomfort and difficulty. i'm thankful for how i was crying and how i had the presence of mind to wonder if crying would contribute significantly to my dehydration, even though i couldn't stop. i'm thankful that i just kept trying to say encouraging things to myself, sometimes aloud, kept picturing in my mind how i would get to the edge of town and stop at the first fast food place or gas station and buy several very refreshing drinks. i'm thankful for how happy i was to see the road sign marking the edge of the county limits. i'm thankful for the brewster's ice cream stand, which was the first place i reached. i'm thankful that my heart was beating rapidly and i felt faint and hot and i was worried i was going to pass out before i was able to order.

i'm thankful to have experienced and survived the depth of the sadness i felt when i reached into the powerade soaked hydration backpack and could not find my credit card. i'm thankful that i was beyond shame and sat down on the hot asphalt, pulling a waterlogged pack of gum and some energy bar wrappers and a package of crushed pop tarts but could not find my credit card. i'm thankful that i walked up to the window of the brewster's, my face soaked with tears and sweat and melted sunscreen and powerade, and asked if i could please have a cup of water. i'm thankful for the young employee, who said "of course" and immediately brought me a tall cup of ice water. i'm thankful for that water, which was the best water i have ever tasted in my life. i'm thankful that it gave me the energy to go the last few miles home.

i'm thankful for difficult days, because when we get through them it means something. i'm thankful for the relief of the ordinary.