thank you notes 6/21

i'm thankful that in an hour, i won't have this job anymore. i'm thankful that i'm sad to be leaving even though i'm also happy to be leaving. i'm thankful to know that i did a good job here and to feel the satisfaction of that and the appreciation that other people have expressed for it.

i'm thankful for the building where i work, which is at the center of campus. i'm thankful that it is a very confusing building that seems like several buildings from different eras that were awkwardly stitched together to form a frankenstein building, which is something i would always tell people who were lost to reassure them as i walked them to the place they didn't know how to find. 

i'm thankful for this job, which i was lucky to get during a very dark and difficult time and which has been a constant in my life as more and more light flooded in around me.

i'm thankful for my office frisbee, which i kept in my desk to play with a faculty member's son and which i'm leaving in the hope that someone will use it after i'm gone. i'm thankful for the fun of playing frisbee with him, which was always a nice surprise. i'm thankful for my old yoga mat, which i left with the note "free to a good home :)"

i'm thankful for the going away lunch i had with my coworkers today downtown, even though i ordered a gigantic cinnamon-roll flavored pancake. i'm thankful that the menu made clear that the pancake was "gigantic" and thankful that i was too dumb to take it at its word and, still digesting something sugary the size of a medium pizza 4 hours later, have learned from my mistake. i'm thankful when we were done eating that i asked the waitress to take a picture of us with my phone, which is something i have never done in my life.

i'm thankful for the intricately constructed and labeled set of box folders i created which contain everything the next person who's hired to do my job will need to do it, as well as thousands of words of bulleted and numbered lists detailing exactly how to use them. i'm thankful for the final entry i included in the guide, which is:

i'm thankful for those breaks, without which i might not have developed the steady yoga and meditation practices that are so important to me. i'm thankful, in general, for the free time and space that i had during the course of my days here, without which i probably wouldn't be writing this to you right now. i'm thankful even though sometimes having so much free time was a curse, which is part of why i'm excited about the prospect of moving to something new, something that will require more from me, but thankful for how often it was a blessing.