tapatio doritos

i'm thankful that i did some work in typescript today which (at the beginner level i was working at, migrating some of the easier parts of a large legacy codebase) felt fun, like a kind of game that isn't as intellectually demanding as writing code but also gives some of the same satisfaction of knowing and naming and organizing.

i'm thankful that as a person with a perennially messy desk i have managed to keep my desk clean every day for two weeks, which is definitely a record. i'm thankful that i did it in a fit of picque one sunday night

i'm thankful for tapatio doritos, which are hard to find but are the best doritos. i'm thankful that we are rewatching what we do in the shadows instead of watching the new season immediately and in the episode we were watching the other day i recognized nour hadidi. (i'm thankful for stath lets flats, which we are also rewatching and which ultimately i think is the better show (purer, more like poetry) but they're both great shows so this is a contest where everybody wins).

i'm thankful it's still summer but it's not so unbearably hot anymore. i'm thankful to recognize that this time of year (august/sept) is always the period at which my mental health is most frayed and fragile, for some reason environmental or historical or completely arbitrary (previous theories tried with doctors that weren't fruitful involved mineral loss from heavy sweating on summer runs and allergies), but i'm thankful that recognizing that pattern gives me comfort that it is temporary and it will pass.

i'm thankful for another british saying i learned from love island which is "i back myself" which means basically that you value yourself, you think you are good (usage c.f. "yeah, the girls may seem to like these other guys more, but i back myself, you gotta back yourself") and i'm thankful that whatever other issues i have i really do back myself.

i'm thankful for the show of the sandman, which was entertaining (as someone who has not read the book(s?)/knows nothing about them and is married to and watching with someone who knows them very well) and had some good performances and setpieces and ideas even as it was imo narratively clunky and uneven as a season of television.

i'm thankful that though we haven't been able to play music in the attic because it's too hot downstairs and always much hotter up there, it's a cool night tonight and i can hear d playing the piano upstairs.

(lmao i'm thankful that as i finished a previous sentence she just came downstairs and said it was too hot and she had to come down and the previous part was just a wistful projection i was making to find a way to, as a poet from grad school said, "lyric out" of the end of this. i'm thankful to be constantly projecting and fantasizing and fetishizing and i'm also thankful when the veils of my illusions are lifted to reveal the real).