she said to me condescendingly
at work we had a long guild discussion about the fraught relationship between engineering and design, which was enriching and also hilarious because usually it's like pulling teeth to get engineers who are not me to talk in this meeting but everybody has so many feelings about this topic to share. that i can be totally honest with my manager because i trust her and know she's a good person. that in the last fifteen minutes of the work day, after struggling for a while to get my local environment working with her complex multi-repo current work, i figured out how to fix a bug for a teammate who's hoping to ship two big PRs today before she goes on vacation but was blocked by the bug. deborah surprised me with a delicious lunch of flat noodles with brussels sprouts and lap cheong.
description by sid meier (quoted iirc by austin walker on a podcast) that a game is "a series of interesting decision". beat the second-to-last big bad in baldur's gate 3 after multiple failed attempts; somewhat reaching a plateau with the game after surprising myself with how long it kept my attention but i'm almost to the end. playing less but continuing to be obsessed with balatro despite not being very good at it (though i had my first game where i was making hundreds of thousands of dollars per hand). the next video game i'm going to play is the remaster of S.T.A.L.K.E.R., the pseudo-adaptation of the tarkovsky movie which is one of my all-time favorite games (but which i always played on an underpowered PC and never actually finished). ec noted that nostalgia is playing here but i don't know if i have the attention span for tarkovsky anymore.
deborah finished a presentation at work that she had been stressing about for days and was physically changed in the aftermath. her dancing in the kitchen listening to music on headphones while preparing dinner and after getting her attention so i didn't scare her in my approach i asked what she was listening to and she said rush and i was like rush?!?!? but then she clarified it was "rush" the troye sivan song (which is not my personal favorite song on the troye sivan album, but i'm thankful for him and the album).
the jerrod carmichael reality show which is like spalding gray by way of late period nathan fielder (i.e. extremely justin-coded). last night on the finale of the real world: las vegas a john mayer song was playing with a first verse that began with the lines "welcome to the real world / she said to me condescendingly" and d, who had been looking at her phone when the lyrics showed up on the closed captions but then was trying to figure out what song was as it continued and i said to d that i would not be able to identify literally any one other john mayer song that is not "your body is a wonderland" but in the spirit of venturing a guess (i fucking love venturing a guess) i wondered aloud if it could be "the real world" and d immediately rejected this suggestion out of hand as though it was insane and that couldn't possibly in a million years be the title and then a moment passed and she was like "wait actually maybe it is the real world??" and i was immediately loudly indignant about this reversal because i love to tease deborah for a pattern of behavior when she immediately rejects an answer i have provided and then doubles back and admits that well actually that might be the answer and roasting her about this again i made her laugh so hard that she couldn't breathe and then later in a lull in the show i looked it up and the name of the song is not "the real world" it's "no such thing".
in claudia sulewski's march vlog she talks about writing about her life as a way to try to slow time (i still need to go back and read this michael clune book) as it seems to slip faster and faster away as a year goes on and her gratitude practice as a means of feeling some sort of control over her feelings and life, which is a framing that resonates with me. it's cold again but the backyard is full of bright yellow dandelions.
Previously on this day:
- 2016 (nice times i've shared with my coworker, episode of keeping up with the kardashians, wedding pictures)
- 2017 (that things in life are rarely as difficult as they are in anxiety dreams, interactive essay about j dilla's "don't cry", the angel of history)
- 2018 (how what seems like bad luck at one time can seem like good luck later, watching superbowl halftime with e, someone gave me my hoodie i forgot)
- 2020 (my new job, 10 raw oysters, visited c and n in cambridge)